I am the Goodie Bag Queen and am most likely one of those awful moms you're all talking about!

I'm such a goofball about themes, gathering stuff, putting the bags together. I am the official goodie bag girl for all of my family's parties.

Every year for Arts Day, I made bags for my son's classmates and his teacher. For the kids, I'd put fun little art related things like the party size packs of colored pencils, crayons, stencils, watercolors, note pads, tiny sized play-doh, whatever. But no candy. The teacher's bag was always big and filled with the kinds of supplies she would deplete throughout the year. It was just for fun and everyone seemed to like it. I suppose there were parents who thought, "Who is she trying to impress...." but it was worth it to see the kids get excited. My addiction is so severe. One year I decorated empty quart sized paint cans and filled them with stuff. Another year I used colored lunch bags, printed out quotes by famous artists (one for each kid) and attached them to the bags by punching holes in them and threading it with a skinny paint brush. OK, maybe I do need a 12 step program.....

I don't, however, send goodie bags to school for Shortie's birthday. I know where to draw the line.

The goody bag thing is insane! We went to a party recently and I swear the goody bag was nicer than the gift we gave. I felt like running out and getting another gift. I don't understand this either. In goody bags that I do for my kids parties, it is always candy and maybe a small toy like a sticky hand or bouncy ball or tattos or an activity book, nothing big or over the top. We used to do a pinata and whatever candy they picked up was the goody bag. The bags at school are getting out of hand also. Parents seem to be in one big competition lately. I don't get it.

About the party thing, It seems to get harder as the kids get older and want ALL their friends and feelings get hurt and all that stuff. I think it is a little easier with boys. I think in your case, i would let mine go, but explain that talking about to others might not be a good idea because they weren't invited because of money, space, etc.. It is such a sticky thing now. Last year, each of my kids picked one friend and we went to Six Flags and had a blast. They spent the night and we had cake the next day. Both of my boys loved it and so did their friend. They are all likely to remember it more than a party, and it cost about the same in the long run, and I didn't have to go nutty worrying about plans beforehand.
Hopefully they will want the same thing this year, cause that is what I am planning on!

Probably OT started the goodie bage thing. at least they seem to have a market on the bag fillers from the parties weve been to. i am sure its a conspiracy by some company to get parents spending more on parties. shawn mght know, where are you shawnfuscious?

Whoever started the goodie bag thing should be taken out back IMHO. I can not tell you how many parties my kids have gone to and the goodie bag is over the top and one upping the last party. I have even heard kids ask for the goodie bag when they first get to the party ... it's expected ~ when did that happen? Can you believe my kids attended a bday party for a 2 yr old that had pony rides provided this past summer. Honestly - can a 2yr old remember a party like that when they are older other than by pictures?

about money......have any of you noticed that the goodie bags/token gifts the kids RECEIVE when they go to parties, sometimes are way over the top?? i mean, a token gift and small doodads and candy is great, but sometimes my kids come home with wrapped presents themselves!

do you all have this social more, that the bday kid gives more than just a token present to each child that attended? seems there is no end in sight in the 'one upping' the last party, in terms of venue , or extras, or goodie bags/presents for the invited ones. its just crazy, these parties.

The only way I'd invite all the girls, all the boys or the entire class to one of my children's birthday parties is if the event is being held somewhere with staff memebers helping. I don't need any more insanity in my life! My children know they are only allowed a handful of friends for parties. If a parent makes a comment I just respond smiling telling them they are a better parent than I if they can handle all for a party - ending with a chuckle. Another sticky point to parties for many is the amount spend on gifts. I limit the amount my children are able to spend on a gift. I have seen so many go overboard. Goos Luck Bignets!