Originally posted by backhoed:
Hey Tim -

Just thought it might be fun thats all.... I am entirely frustrated by that point you bought up. .... (whoa is me... as I hang my head...)

My comments weren't meant as a criticism of you, backhoed, or this thread. Apologies if it came off that way.

It was kind of a meandering thought, caused by so much good interaction in the past few weeks with tons of parent leaders. Our conferences are often like a bigger, in-person version of this forum. And one of the recurring thoughts at the conferences was the "clique" image/problem faced by so many groups. Something here struck me along those lines, and I posted the thought. Wasn't saying that this thread or the forum is clique-like. Just saying it is something I do keep my eyes out for as moderator.

In my own defense, I did start my reply by saying: definitely allowed. (And yes, I realize that "definitely allowed" followed by a long-winded clique warning is maddening.)

Onward.

Tim

PS -- I'll have our webmaster look into some of the new personalization features of the forum software. I've seen some forums with some neat (optional) profile tools set-up. Let me find out more.

[ 05-20-2004, 11:31 AM: Message edited by: Rockne ]

Agreed.

Michelle -- I wasn't saying we have a problem. I was just saying (as a good group leader should at school, too) we should watch out for it happening. Because it tends to creep up.

You wouldn't believe how many emails I get from Moms who attended their first meeting and felt like an outcast. Many of those moms never go back. In most cases, the very good-hearted leaders never even knew the mom felt this way or that some of the (relatively benign) habits of the group caused the feelings.

Tim

Can I agree with both MichelleB and Tim?

The other forum I was on was extreme. Honestly. The same little cliques responded to each other and no one else. If you weren't recognized by one of the cliques, your comments and questions went completely unnoticed.

I was just thinking we might accidently do a couple of the things they did that made it hard to participate. (Writing shorthand, talking about things without the story behind it, not responding to new posters questions -for whatever reason, ect.)

I love knowing a little more about the other posters. It puts things into context. It makes me feel better when Kmamom admits she eats "make me feel better" ice cream and I hear there are other people posting from my state. I really like that. I don't think we shoud stop sharing those things, I think we should just be mindful of what new people may need as well. Like you said we're all new at some point.

We have a good balance. I like what I've seen so far.

Tim, I must (gasp, I know this will come as a shock) disagree with you!
Although several of the posters have many posts to their names, some are as new as only a few months where others have been here for a few years. We were all newbies once and if the atmosphere was unwelcoming, we wouldn't have stayed. I think that we, on the whole, are welcoming in fact, I've noticed more and more PTA people coming here not dissolving just discussing and sharing ideas.

It's especially important to let familiarity become a sort of hurdle that newcomers have to overcome in order to get involved. Else -- like with our parent groups -- they won't.

And as the "old timers" know a lot about each other, it is the newcomers that would benefit by sharing their information (don't tell us where you live or what hours you work etc) since we don't know them very well. In our parent groups, many don't want to overcome the hurdles which breeds the clique mentality, only the tough survive. Many need that first gesture, that give a little before they give a little, to keep them coming back.

I know what Tim is talking about. I tried to join another forum and quickly found that if no one recognized your name, you did not get responces. They had area parties which made it worse because they had in jokes that no one new would get.

I have thought it would be useful to have area picnics or something. (I've actually been trying to think of a good place to suggest.) The reason is that we could network and trade names of local helpful businesses more easily. I admit, I'm reluctant to put names on a board when they will be archived (unless they are national and have it on their website anyway).

I agree we need to be careful not to create an atmosphere that makes newbees feel too new. I admit looking at threads and thinking, "Oh, I just wrote something on that last month, or read something about that topic." I'll be more conscientious to respond anyway.

It is deflating to see other people have thier questions answered and not mine. Since I have established that I read (and post) frequently, I'll try to answer questions even if it seems reduntant. Obviously someone else didn't see what was said before and it would be useful to them.

I have to say this has been a very enjoyable experience and I'll try to do my part to keep it that way. Thanks for the reminder, Tim.

Hey Tim -

Just thought it might be fun thats all. In no way is this meant to come off as a "clique". My question to you is why does this appear to be a clique. Because we post alot? It is certainly and most overwhlemingly welcome to ALL. I guess my feeling is there goes that "We are a clique" mentalitly. Why? We really do not know each other, why is it just because we post on these boards that we are now going to be perceived as a clique? and from you on top of it. :confused: I am entirely frustrated by that point you bought up. In keeping this "on the lighter side" and not completely business, I feel we are "letting our hair down a bit" . It is the end of the year.... In fact, it is the complete oposite of clique...encouraging all to join in.. have some coffee.... (whoa is me... as I hang my head...)