fortheschool, I think you should attend the meeting to allow yourself the opportunity to clear the record, if needed. You are not returning to the PTO next year so leave without any regret. This is your chance to say what you need to say, take advantage of it.

Thanks for the advise on my issue. The Superintendent had been notified of our situation. He did not have any solid advise, he too is struggling with the same person. He said in his 30 years+ of being in the education system he has never encountered anyone like this. That should tell you something.

fortheschool- you say 'He talked with the board member and of course she denies all'
therein lies the key. why bother getting yourself into a no win situation? not worth the trouble, based ONLY on the partial info yuouve presented here. you are the only one who has the full picture of all teh dynamics and personalities involved. dont kow if any insights from this board will give u a useful answer. do whats best for YOU and your sanity.

Sorry just my two cents worth.Sometimes people say things in the heat of the moment and then cant take in back.This type of person will defend themselfs to the death,they will alwise be in the right,even if its just in thier own heads,. Please take a deep breath and rember why you started in PTO in the first place THE CHILDREN.Rember time heals all wounds and summer is coming

I personally feel that the board member and her "friend" are the problems myself -- fortheschool.....if that is the case, and it may well be, its nothing for the admin. to get involved with anywya, is it.
why dont those 2 adults just meet and work things out between them like mature, civilized adults. if they cant work it out themselves, let THEM decide who to use as mediator, IF IN FACT they want resolution. maybe they dont want resolution at all, but were venting their emotions on each other, from another, unresolved matter in their personal life. usually, people do things for other reasons. going to the gym is a good , positive, solution too, maybe suggest they each get a membership at the YMCA and talk out their differencs while they are on the treadmill.

fortheschool... Okay you lost me somewhere here. Your original post was about this fight between a PTO Board member and a general member. Now your last post is about a meeting being called and you feeling like you are somehow going to take the fall for other peoples actions and other concerns you have about some of the board members. So I am not sure how we got from one place to the other, if these events are related or just part of a larger problem that has been going on?

Maybe your principal called a huge meeting to force the whole matter up into the air and let everyone see what is really going on? It would seem to me that this group of woman would more easily be able to attack you in a meeting of just them then to do the same in front of a large group of people who may not all agree with them or see it their way. They may exhibit better behavior in front of everyone then they would in a small meeting that the membership is not privy to.

Again I do not know what all the issues are. But you said you are not doing PTO next year so your not attending this meeting to fight for your position within the PTO or anything like that. But, I think you should go to the meeting. Take some friends with you for support. You can go there and defend yourself (if need be) and say what you need to say without being hostile.

for the school--- i am missing a piece....what is your ROLE in the PTO , are you president, and officer, or what function do you serve, ie how is it you came to be involved in the first place. maybe you wrote it somewhere, what your PTO/PTA role is but i cant find it.....that would help to understand your overall dilemma and to answer your question....