With regard to my situtation: The prinicpal should have called a meeting with the "key people" but instead they called a meeting with the entire PTO board. I know that my heads on the chopping block becasue I'm the one that informed the one principal about was going on. I beleive that the "key people" on our board are doing things that shouldn't be allowed too. Gossping, trying to control next years borad members, and so on. The key people of course have denied all. I know that their prepared to make me look bad and I don't want that. Should I attend the meeting or shouldn't I? I beleive the prinicpal is on myside but I'm not sure becasue he called this "HUGE" meeting. I told him what I felt was going on but I don't want to have to confront these people becasue they are so mean and I'm worried about them getting even. Plus we all have kids in the same grades. What should I do? They are the reason why I'm not doing PTO next year. Should I just not go and wash my hands of it, or should I go and defend myself?

ademom --- "Our principal was new last year and definitely lacks both a backbone and diplomatic skills. Hope yours handles it better."
YES it really does boil down to management issues. you have hit the nail on the head of all school matters : the PRINCIPAL dictates how things are handled and managed, and mediating parental concerns is often the largest part of a principal, or so i have been told by acting principals.

playing games
then addrss the superintendent, they are true managers, they have many many people underneath them and know how to deal with people problems. get advice from the professionals, since you ask for advice, thats my adviee

We had a situation similiar to this last year.
The entire school year was frought with high drama, which the principal actually made worse instead of solve.
It was ugly, with screaming matches at exec. board meetings as neither party would back down. It was very similiar to high school, with each party engaging others to chose sides. Mind you, this occured between two 40-plus year old women.
It was ugly, awful but it's over now, as they are both off the board.
Our principal was new last year and definitely lacks both a backbone and diplomatic skills. Hope yours handles it better.

Dontgetit - remember "Believe nothing merely because you have been told it." Buddhist aphorism.

Very wise statement. That was the point of the meeting, to ask questions and to get her side. The PTO Officers were never given the opportunity.

serendipity makes a good point: "You tried & now all you can do is move ahead and not worry about what she is saying, especially since as you noted no one takes her seriously anymore."
many posts seem to talk about similar issues, revolve around adult personalities of parents or disgruntled past or current officers, and how to deal with them/the adults. i wonder if all those concerned focused more on kids and school needs the other issues would fall by the wayside, just where they belong.