I agree with what the other posters said and the only other thing I would do is make it known to all the board for the future that no board member should be calling anyone on the phone and attacking them and calling them names. What they do in their personal life is one thing but what they do acting as a PTO board member is another.
I had a similar problem with two parents. I believe they were equally nasty to each other but each felt like the other was wrong. One cried to the principal while one cried to the superintendent. Each told a convincing (one-sided) tale.
I got wind of it and sent an email message to the two ladies and the involved admin folks. I said it was important for us all to focus on the goal and to be able to work together for a fair outcome. I suggested we all meet the next day at 10am in the principal's office.
The Principal responded with a, "Yes, let's meet and resolve this."
The Superintendent said, "Yes, we need to fix this and move on. Let's meet."
The two ladies said, "Oh no, there's no reason to meet. Sure we disagree on the right solution. But let's present both sides to the board, let them vote and take the majority answer."
Forced to face their behavior and the prospect of having to explain themselves embarrased them deeply. They straightened up, found the right solution, and moved on.
Pals is right, remain neutral and hear both sides. The truth is probably in the middle....
Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for awhile and leave footprints on our hearts. And we are never, ever the same."
"The ultimate aim of karate lies not in victory or defeat but in the true perfection of one's character."
at the meeting announce that you are neutral and will not take a side. Let your principal see where he can get with it, I would personally stay out of the he said she said thing.
"When you stop learning you stop growing."
if your principal is a just and reasonable person, and calm and UNBIASED, call a meeting beteween the parties and talk it out like adults. use the principal as mediator or facilitator. a head of school should know by TRAINING and EXPERIENCE how best to handle less than mature behaviour and also how to mediate parent concerns and it sounds like you have a little of both.
I have a question for you. I have a member that has come to me with a problem. Apparently, she has received some unkind phone calls from a PTO board member. She feels that the board member is personally attacking her. From what I've heard the member is correct. The pto member has however blown the calls out of perportion. Although the call was unprofessional and rude the member has lied about a few things. To make matters worse the prinicipal has found out and he has called a meeting. He believes the member and is upset that the board member is acting this way. He talked with the board member and of course she denies all. How do I as the other board member stop our meeting from being a he said she said thing? The other board member is ready to fight and casue a big sceen. Do I let her and just sit back knowing that she really did make the calls or what do I do? In the calls, the board member called the other names and said that she was the cause of all of their problems. I personally feel that the board member and her "friend" are the problems myself. I believe the pto member becasue I heard the call but I didn't hear the second one and the pto member admitts that she got carried away with the story and the 2nd call didn't really happen. So what should I do?
