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Donuts with Dad

19 years 6 months ago #111447 by backhoed
Replied by backhoed on topic RE: Donuts with Dad

Kinda sad that we're both here on a Sunday, isn't it????

Actually, many of us are here at all days and times of the week. What makes it so sad? The fact is is that this is a dedicated bunch of people who come here for advice any time of the day they can "fit" it into their very "active and busy" schedules.

Sorry but I can't help but be offended by the comment.

AS for "Pearlie"s post: You can not make everyone happy. Some people will make a big stink over anything that is done. I think too many people are offended by SO MUCH these days! Just because you are offended does not mean all the others have to cease doing a donuts for dads or muffins for moms. If you have a problem with it - don't go.

As for keeping kids from getting hurt, ( I am going to sound like a hardnose here, sue me! I am on a roll...) Life hurts! Life is not fair and to teach kids that life is a rose garden,to me, is not fair. There are some things we can protect our kids from but donuts with dads or muffins with moms is not one of them.
19 years 6 months ago #111446 by <Pearlie>
Replied by <Pearlie> on topic RE: Donuts with Dad
We don't do Donuts With Dad or Muffins With Mom, but I can tell you as a divorced Mom and also someone who is very sensitive about having gender specific events at school, that I am uncomfortable about the whole concept. I understand the rationale about attempting to get more Dads involved, but I don't believe events should be gender specific at schools because there is too much of a chance of having hurt feelings of students because EITHER Mom or Dad may not be involved in school functions with their kids.

My ex-husband was never involved in school functions when we were married, and he certainly isn't now. I strongly believe he is intimidated by the whole educational system and educators, and will not attend school functions, going so far as not allowing our son to attend his yearly school musical when it was held on a night that my ex was scheduled to be with our kids. As a divorced parent, you can't force the other parent to bring the kids to events not held during school time.

So, if we had Donuts with Dad, not only would he not attend, but his brother would not attend (remember things can get very acrimonious in divorces), and we are not originally from this area, so there really would be no other male figure to attend for my son. People are so transient these days, so many parents don't live close to relatives and with so many older Moms, like myself, many of our parents are no longer living.

I think it's sad and unfortunate to place kids in a situation where they don't have anyone to show up for them.

I believe most board members of PTOs/PTAs are comprised of married parents (I am the only one out of 20+ that is divorced), so sometimes it's hard for married people to understand the challenges divorced parents face with situations at school and many of us want to protect our children from being hurt any further.

I hope that gives you another perspective about this whole concept. I know if our board was considering doing these events, I would suggest they not be divided into gender specific events.
19 years 6 months ago #111445 by pam comeau
Replied by pam comeau on topic RE: Donuts with Dad
Ok, that's good advice. Unfortunately, we have a prez and her cronies in our group that like to pick holes in every idea that they didn't come up with... so I like to be prepared for any argument.
Kinda sad that we're both here on a Sunday, isn't it???? [img]tongue.gif[/img]
Thanks for your help on both my questions!!!
19 years 6 months ago #111444 by Serendipity
Replied by Serendipity on topic RE: Donuts with Dad
We have not seen any of that sort of thing. We also note on the flyer that if Dad is not available on that day that the child may come with their grandfather, uncle, or other and of course the same for Muffins with Moms.

There were a few kids who did not have any available male figure on that day and they came with other friends and their father.
19 years 6 months ago #111443 by pam comeau
Donuts with Dad was created by pam comeau
I have a question about doing "donuts with Dad "muffins with Mom" events...
Has anyone who has done these seen a backlash from people saying things like "what about divorced families.. or kids without a dad/mom"?
I would like to start these types of events, but I'm worried about this kind of reaction.
Any input would be appreciated greatly..
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