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Donuts with Dad

19 years 6 months ago #111459 by JHB
Replied by JHB on topic RE: Donuts with Dad
Our Donuts for Dad/Muffins for Mom events are held up the hall in the Library before school. We focus on males on Dad's day and females on Mom's, but a child can pretty much bring any adult they want.

We have very good turn out. But - by far - not everyone. Not everyone can adjust their work schedule. Some forget. Some don't have a mom. Some don't have a dad. (Some have two moms and no dads.) And, unfortunately, some kids have parents in their lives that don't care enough to get involved.

Those that do participate proceed directly up the hall, the rest of the kids stick to their normal routine (with lots of other kids) and report to the cafeteria or gym.

We try to be sensitive to kids' situations and we rely heavily on the teachers and principals to keep an eye out for any child who might be left out. Absolutely, the school staff would help us intervene if anyone seemed upset or uncomfortable.

But it's really been not a problem. And I have to agree (and our teachers also point this out) -learning to deal with situations is a valuable part of growing up, even feeling left out sometimes. There have been things at school I couldn't attend and my child had to deal with it. We have to balance being sensitive with allowing our kids to develop coping skills.

(And yes, we do have a board and volunteers with very mixed family situations.)

[ 12-19-2004, 07:51 PM: Message edited by: JHB ]
19 years 6 months ago #111458 by soccermomto4kids
Replied by soccermomto4kids on topic RE: Donuts with Dad
If your child couldn't bring a father or other significant male figure to the Donuts with Dads event, why would you send him there and subject him to the whole thing? Especially if he has a problem making friends...just to be spiteful so that you could say how horrible it was for your kid because he didn't have a dad there? It sounds like you've got some issues and are very bitter. Good luck with that, and I'll pray for you.
19 years 6 months ago #111457 by Pearlie
Replied by Pearlie on topic RE: Donuts with Dad
Gracee -

I find it unfortunate that you consider an exchange of differences of opinions to be a "back and forth on petty comments". I respect people who speak their mind and certainly don't expect everyone to agree with me on all subject matters. That is oftentimes when we are capable of learning the most - when others are offering differing points of view.

Also remember, that since we are all dealing with different issues in life, what one person may view as "petty", may not be at all petty to someone else.

I have been fortunate enough to be able to attend all of my son's parties and events at school, if I didn't, he wouldn't have had a parent there.

As for TAKING AWAY something, I'm not sure I understand what you are referring to since our school does not currently have Donuts with Dad or Muffins with Mom. How do you take away something that doesn't exist?

I simply probably would not support STARTING an event such as this, since once you set a precedence of offering these events, it is difficult to then "Take It Away". I would suggest that if we were to do a morning event, then it not be gender specific.

While my son is very bright, he has a syndrome which along with many other things, makes it very difficult for him to form friendships, so he is fortunate to have one friend at school...so yeah, I guess he could sit with other Dads, but it would probably be more like having Donuts with a Stranger.
19 years 6 months ago #111456 by soccermomto4kids
Replied by soccermomto4kids on topic RE: Donuts with Dad
I know that it's not very PC to say, but here's my 2 cents (not that anyone asked)...
Donuts with Dads and Muffins with Moms--it's an awesome thing to do. I thinks it's ridiculous that we have to be concerned that someone might take offense to it, and I'm so sorry if someone does... get over it. There are children in school that don't celebrate Halloween, does that mean that the entire holiday should be looked over and NO ONE should celebrate? What about the whole Christmas/Hanukah holiday season? It's a sad state that we have to be concerned about doing something good for the majority because one person out there might look to find a problem with it. And that's where the majority of the complaints would be heard...probably from the same people that are going to find a problem with 99% of everything else. I wouldn't be offended if there was a program offered at the school that didn't pertain to me or my children-I just wouldn't attend. I wouldn't tell the principal that since it didn't include my kids, then it shouldn't be allowed. If it can be beneficial to the majority, you should be able to offer it. People need to GET OVER THEMSELVES and STOP BEING SO SENSITIVE! You can find a problem with anything if you look hard enough. And if you look even harder, you might even find some good.
19 years 6 months ago #111455 by Serendipity
Replied by Serendipity on topic RE: Donuts with Dad
Gracee...

Hi just recentley joined this site to get vauable information. However, I see that this is a lot of back and forth on petty comments.

This site is a great source of valuable information!!! We are all human though and we come from different places and different walks of life. So of course occasionally people but heads and have differences of opinions. Sometimes we need to agree to disagree. The fact that we are all different and all come from different places is also what adds to the value of this site.
19 years 6 months ago #111454 by Serendipity
Replied by Serendipity on topic RE: Donuts with Dad
Pearlie...Families do not get charged anything for Donuts with Dads or Muffins with Mom. The PTO pays for it all. This is generally the case with all the schools who do it, although some do put out a donation bucket(we don't). Becuase the main purpose of these events are to build the school family community and to give something back and do something nice without asking for anything in return for it. Most schools tend to hold Donuts with Dad in the Fall & Muffins with Mom in the Spring.

Maybe our kids here are fortunate that everyone cares about them no matter what their situation is and that folks go out of their way to make sure no child is left out. But that is part of what our organization does and I believe that all PTO's/PTA's etc. try to do the same thing when they hold these events. Having breakfast with a teacher or the principal can be just as exciting (maybe more so) to a child. Just as Gracee posted about her son having an awesome time with his teacher. I bet some kids will be jealous of the kids who get to eat with the teacher or the principal. So much of it for the kids is just doing something out of the norm. The kids are all so happy that day not to mention that they have all had breakfast which is not always the case many of days for some kids.

Pam...I did not take any offense to your comment.
I knew what you meant. Actually I love being on line and I was left to my own devices today! :D
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