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PTO cliques are as bad as High School

17 years 9 months ago #104829 by pam1500
That's a shame that you had that experience. I wonder if the PTO complains that they can't get volunteers.

I agree with other posters. See what you can do in the classroom. Sign up to help in the library - you might be surprised at what kind of information about the school you can pick up there!

And in time, give it another chance. Maybe it was just a bad day. Wait a few months, or wait until next year, and try again. Try to find out what kinds of activities the PTO sponsors, and if there's something that really interests you, go after it.

My first PTO experiences were... not great. When my son was in kindergarten, I was focused on him, and I got into the classroom a lot. First grade I was a room parent, and computer mom, and helped in the library. Second grade I was a classroom publishing parent, and helped with the PTO publishing committee. I had avoided the PTO until then.

Third grade I chaired the publishing committee (which I loved), and helped with the silent auction. It was a huge amount of work, but the women I worked with were so nice, we had a thousand laughs (and raised the most money ever!)

If someone had told me in year 2 that year 4 would be so much fun, I never would have believed it.
17 years 9 months ago #104828 by <too funny>
Replied by <too funny> on topic RE: PTO cliques are as bad as High School
that is the absolute funniest thing i have heard about catty women.

i guess she could write a book, Mean Girls Going Gray, or something like that.

it must be maternal instinct , women bashed each other with stone age tools to get the best 'guy', and they havent lost the genes for it, now its in their teenybopper jeans, the genes for being mean.

some teachers tell me the girlie clicks start alread in preschool. there is no escaping it, i guess.
17 years 9 months ago #104827 by ademom74
Why are we like this? When I say we, I mean women in general. Is it that we only feel powerful and popular when we can make others feel invisible?

All posters here have given you good advice, heed it and move on.

Oh, and you know that it doesn't change for women no matter how old you get...My mother is 75 years old, a widow who looks much younger. She's no beauty but has strong personality and sense of self. Anyway, she takes a science class and there is a widower from town who always sits next to her. Do you know that the other women talk about her and give her dirty looks at the class, like she is some kind of 'hussy' (her expression, not mine). And, worst of all, it actually bothers her.
17 years 9 months ago #104826 by mykidsmom
Maybe that's how I have survived for so long! In high school no one talked to me and I was kinda nerdy (80's standards).
College taught me if I wanted it, I gotta go and get it!

I will apologize for being really bad about not being more "out there" and greeting people but I've never been rude to someone that's says "hello" to me.

I hated high school. Finally, 20 years later, I'm popular because I am who I am not the title.
17 years 9 months ago #104825 by <too funny>
Replied by <too funny> on topic RE: PTO cliques are as bad as High School
That is just terrible.
I will tell you though. .been there am at times am still there as the PTSA President. I have entered my position with the thought that i will be the opposite of those mom's. I think that they seem to forget why we are there. I have a co president that I beleive is there for status and status alone. When it comes to PTA she has no clue. I hate saying that about her as she is sweet but how do you tell someone they just don't cut it.. I beleive PTA is a very time consuming thing. and when people don't want to do the work. (which in most cases has to be lots of hands) they don't want to do it unless they get some sort of glory for it. What a shame. I have also noticed that some of our board only wants to sign up an do the stuff that gets them noticed. OH PALLEEEAAAAAAAAZZZZZZEEEEEE. i think they do think this is high school.
17 years 9 months ago #104824 by GaMom
I really want to say that if they are like that then you don't need them. But the PTO in me says maybe they don't even realize they are being like this, or maybe they are shy. Whatever the reason it is not a good one for the position they are in. We treat our PTO as a welcoming comittee. The first week of school, we were asked to volunteer in the office to talk to the new students and parents registering to make them feel comfortable and show them around. We do it during kindergarten orientation also. So, go help in the room, book fairs, carnivals, etc. As you get to know them, let them know you didn't origianlly feel very welcome. Then run for room parent coordinator, or at least try to get to know her, and work on ways to help parents feel comfortable and welcome. don't let this experience keep you from helping; let it help you make it better.
And you can always move to GA and be a part of our crowd. We would welcome you with open arms!
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