Ouch!

Clara - you have a no win situation..."There is nothing that can be resolved regarding PTO issues until trouble maker meets with the PTO officers. " if i were the person you label a trouble maker, i would not set foot in a room with you without an impartial mediator , just like crewchief outlines above. you have to invite people with a smile, and not prejudge. you will never resolve your issues with an attitude likethat, after all , even you say cmmujication is a 2way street -- sounds like you are more of a Tsection or dead end than offering ot talk and listen and hear facts .. sorry if i misinterpreted what youve said,but thats my take on what ive read here and surely there is more story behind it, there always is. jules i LOVE your home analogy -- you have the right attitude. kudos to you.

Are we talking about Clara or me? I'd like to think that I am handling the issues in as diplomatic a manner as possible.

In dealing with our outgoing members, I have tried to go directly to the source, without dealing with our admin, simply because our issues have nothing to deal with the admin.

Crewchief mentioned that we should take nothing personally, but let's face it. There is nothing fun about getting trashed in front of our peers, especially when we know in our hearts there is no truth in what these people are saying.

I know it's better not to engage, and I haven't done that, but in an effort to build community, how can that be done, when walls are being formed by others who are systematically undoing something before you can even start to build? I'm big on analogies, so let me say it this way:

It's easier to break down a house, right? Whether on purpose (like with a wrecking ball) or on accident (crashing into it with your car), it's easier to do that, than it is to build it or fix it up.

I see our school as a house, and it's our responsibility as parents/guardians, community members to make sure that the structure or framework of that house is stable. But I feel that everything I am doing is counteractive to that.

Directly or not, I take responsibility for some of this "wrecking" if you will, because clearly, these women feel as though I have done them some type of injustice. But the problem is that I cannot get to the root of the problem to rebuild, and they do not want to help me get there, either.

How can I help them see the bigger picture that it is not about us? That this house, if you will, is nearly beyond repair?

The attitude within our school is less than good, and I am "glass half full" kind of girl. I find it hard to close this year with this heaviness. It breaks my heart to see the parents in the school who are so willing to help, without having any direction, children who are so deserving of more than this, and so much upheaval in something that should be, I agree, Dianna, fun.

Where do we find the balance? And, what scares me is this: Will I be the disgruntled PTO-er in eight years? That's a scarier thought. Sorry, CrewChief. Although, you do give me hope!

Thanks.

Jules

Ouch! That hurt. I am sorry if I have offended you too early to tell. Much of what you say is correct and some of what you say does not apply to my situation.

There is nothing that can be resolved regarding PTO issues until trouble maker meets with the PTO officers. Communication is a two way street. Again, she will not meet. She has the answers but is not willing to give them, or own up to her behavior. Not sure which it is.

Again, sorry if I offended you. I am very reasonable facing the impossible. All will work out one way or another. Just do the best you can in your school if faced with the same type trouble maker.

this all sounds like conjecture assumption and hearsay to me:
"The PTO and the administration have a wonderful relationship which even upsets the trouble maker.You know the type of person who thinks everyone is out to get her, no one tells the truth, everyone does their job wrong. A true micromanager"
does the admin share infos about a parent with the PTO?????? that seems unlikely.the school is staff, bound by confidence rules, the PTOs are not staff, are not bound by any such rules, and are not privy to school/admin confidences. wow i feel sorry for the object you label a micromanager. dont know how you come up with your generalizations and conclusions. sounds like you are trying to do some micromanaging yourself of matters which belong purely in the hands of the school ADMIN. think about it. focus on PTO issues and jurisdictions, and let the school handle school/parent matters.

wow i am hearing that parents are getting prejudged all over the place. what a world we live in.....assuming we know everything about everything that transpires between a parent and teachers/admin/curriculum. these are confidences, everything else is just hearsay.
i just hope everyone making assumptions and calling pto officers or volunteers 'trouble makers' know what theyre talking about....maybe the person is not making trouble but simply asking a question and doesnt get any reply from the administration. that happens too. for admin issues to become pto issues is not even reasonable, in particular becuase it sounds like most PTOs are independent and therefore are clearly NOT in ANY position to take a stand or intervene. it soundslike all of claras issues are for admin. and not for pto at all. as clara said as well, i just dont get it.
keep an open mind, you all, dont prejudge, hear all the facts first from the source, hearsay is NOT a source. dont label people as trouble makers, most are very well intentioned persons that work with ptos and have best intentions for the kids and the school. it is very easy to armchair quarterback and spread rumors and hear rumors and assume they are true (who would assume such a thing at all, i know not) and then based on that, call someone trouble...from what clara says, the pto never met with the 'trouble maker' and the head of school avoided it too, so where oh where does the data come from upon which you label someone? sounds like a whole lotta hearsay which can turn to rumor gossip and innuendo in a jiffy. and gossip is as old as humans...and is never productive. i think a lot of misunderstandings and anger and worries could be prevented if people kept an open mind and got all the FACTS before labeling people.after all, you dont want your kids to get labels either, do you? then why label adults? there are always difficult people in the world, you will run into them all your life. its how you deal with them that counts. do you put them in a box and prejudge and THEN invite them to talk with your mind already made up as it souds you have done? or do you handle it like crewchief outlined, and try to find resolution. how bout some TOLERANCE, openmindedness, and get your FACTS from the source, and put hearsay into the circular file, ladies and gents.