Clara - I think you're misunderstood here and perhaps are being picked on just a bit. My perception is that you aren't necessarily asking for advice, just sharing your experiences to let others know that they aren't alone in facing these types of problems. And, that you're merely sharing how your own community has decided to deal with it. If that works for you and your community then, hey, two thumbs up to you! Also, your own story is a very good example of how certain 'problem seekers' tend to overlap their focus. Often, their efforts cause problems in all areas of the community. By working together as a team you all support each other in your efforts. After all, a PTO is merely one segment of a larger community.
Jules - Your school is lucky to have you. I hope that you find a way to stay involved. My own school has many ways to contribute and the PTO is only one of them. We also have a volunteer library staff, kindergarten helpers, lunch room and playground monitors, boy/girl scout troops, and so much more. You and your children will benefit greatly from you taking an active role. You'll find the best fit for you and do tremendous work for your community!
I've been involved in PTO work for 8 years and with three schools. As my successor is coming into office next month, I shared a few of the things I've learned along the way:
1. Never, ever send an email message/pick up the phone/confront someone while angry. You will always regret it.
2. PTO work is, and should be, important to you. For everyone else, it's nowhere near the top of the list. Don't' take it personally.
3. Managing volunteers is like nothing else. How you say things is always more meaningful than what you say.
4. Use an objective third party whenever possible. We work in a bubble. Things often make sense to us because we know the back story. Running things by someone who is out of the loop is the best way to catch potential problems. (Unfortunately for xxxxx, he was my reviewer. He was forced to read/hear/use a lot of things he never wanted to!)
5. Always have a back up plan. Meetings won't always have a quorum, items will often not make the newsletter, volunteers will forget about or disregard commitments they've made, misunderstandings will happen.
6. At the end of the day, we are all still friends. This is a small community. Everyone knows everyone. Our kids all play together. The people on all sides of every issue think they have the best interest of the parents / kids / school / town in mind. The people are always more important than the issue. The trick is to find a win, win, win solution.
