Thank you so much for your words of wisdom, whatsitallabout. In all honesty, I have tried every angle, from going straight to the source, to ignoring the words themselves.

If, in volunteering my time, my efforts, and my talents, I feel as though it these things are undermined left and right by those who feel they know better, you're right. Why bother?

That being said, the only ones who will suffer will be our kids. And that stinks, because for the past five years, this position of fundraising chairperson has sat empty. Go figure.

I stepped up, with kids in k and 1, thinking I'm in it for the long haul. But now, with kids only in k and 1, will I feel as though I have let everyone down (including myself and my kids) by stepping down?

I realize that this is not about me, but clearly, at our school, I may be one of the only ones who feels this way. Should I think about reinventing the wheel? I can't do that, either. I'm personally not that strong, for so many reasons.

Okay, babbled enough. Just wanted to put it down to figure out where I am mentally headed with this. And maybe get some feedback from people who don't know me from a hole in the wall. Thanks.

Jules

crewchief you are truly amazing, "I've been on both sides of conflict resolution. It takes caring, reasonable, open-minded folks on each side of the issue to be willing to work together if any real progress is going to be made. "
i will join your PTO too, any day!!

jules, only YOU know the dynamics, personalities, and maybe the hidden agendas those personalities MAY have, and i emphasize MAY. if the personalities aer not, as crewchief describes "caring, reasonable, open-minded folks " my advice, from personal experience, is this: WHY BOTHER? focus on your kids and work for the school directly with the teachers or other staff, contribute solo mission and not thru the politics and agonies of what seems to lie ahead for you, of the pto. of course, this is based only on what little you have shared, only YOU know the whole picture, and only YOU can decide whats best for YOU. focus on your sanity, your kids, your school , and dont stress over PTO. we can all contribute if need be, outside of 'organized' contributors such as PTO.
if there is grief in trying to work things out, you have to wonder is it worth it, and what are you really fighting for? PTO should NOT be that hard, if its hard, somethings fishy, and not worth your bother or losing any ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZs.

Yes, dlf! Thank you for understanding my point. There absolutely are folks out there who recieve "twisted satisfaction" from the trouble they cause. If every type of resolution process has been attempted and the person continues to cause problems then ignoring them is all that's left. When it becomes clear that the trouble and the drama are their focus and NOT resolution then you can only assume that they're getting something out of it.

I would like to make it perfectly clear that no real concerns are ignored. We have processes both within our PTO and the school that allow concerns to be discussed. Every attempt is made to find a workable solution. Sometimes just hearing the complaint is enough for the other party, just having someone listen to them. And, absolutely, confidentiality rights are observed.

I've been on both sides of conflict resolution. It takes caring, reasonable, open-minded folks on each side of the issue to be willing to work together if any real progress is going to be made.

I have to say that I am happy that this has been brought back up. I am having serious issues with our PTO, and I am at my wits end.

It appears that, in my attempt to spearhead new fundraising venues (as the new chairperson), I inadvertently stepped on toes. In doing this, a new atmosphere has been created that I don't particularly know can be "fixed" anytime soon.

The people who are unhappy with my ideas, the outgoing board members, are so unhappy that they are unwilling to back my ideas, and are trash-talking me left and right.

Is this worth salvaging, or should I cut and run? For my sanity, I feel I should just get out. I am thick skinned, don't get me wrong, but do I want to fight an uphill battle right out of the gate? I have more people against me than with me, simply for something I have no control over.

I know I can do this, and I know I can do it well, but I can only do it with the support of the community of families within our school.

I don't know what to do, and I have lost a lot of sleep over this, and I just want to do the right thing. It should not be this hard, and I don't want to be a quitter, but, truly, for my sanity, maybe I should just get out. :confused:

Clara - your points are inconsistent. if its true that "....she is doing so much damage to herself and the school. ", keyword SCHOOL the LAST thing a head of school would want to do is, to AVOID dealing with the situation, as you have suggested is the case. something doenst add up. anyway, you cold maybe consider this side too, of the matter, before siding with the 'horror stories' you have heard and assuming they are an accurate reflection of the facts. someone said here, the truth is probably in the middle of the two sides of it, but it sounds like you onely heard the horror side and not the reality side. just musings. of coures all infos on these sites are incomplete. i just keep hearing over and over again on these blogs, that folks seem to think they know the WHOLE story when if fact, they may truly NOT.

dianna- i would love to join your pto!! thanks for all your other postings too, you, along with mnay other 'frequent contributors' really seem to have the best interests of the pto, the kids, the school, and the adults, no matter thier affiliation to any of above, in mind . and thats what makes for encouragement, to know there are level heads and fair play in the world. thanks.