Kmamom, you have it all wrong... According to the sidewalk talk-It's your fault the taxes in town went up and it's my fault that no one helps out at your school because I burn them out at my school. I have to do everything on such a grand scale!!!! Small and sh*tty is the way to go.

You need to get out and listen to the people to know whats going on. I've told you on more than one occasion, it's time to come over to the dark side. We're much nicer over here, and we all work together(I know, it's a shocker, but it's true) We will welcome you with open arms!listen, do you hear it, thats the dark side calling you..It's time, give in and come on over. Besides, since you are the Supers lackey, he'll let you come over!

On one hand it's always comforting to hear you're not the only one, but on the other it's just so depressing to see how prevelant certain attitudes and personality traits are.

We've never done a silent auction so I don't really understand how it works, but with Tricky Trays you want as many prizes as possible!! The reasoning is the more prizes you have the more tickets people have to buy to increase their chances of winning something. You're spot on about "holding" prizes back--it's unethical--people donated for this specific event. By holding back prizes you're violating the trust of a donor.

I opened up my big mouth at our last meeting and -GASP- aired a contradictory opinion on something, and boy, have I been the topic of gossip circles these past two weeks! AARGH - it's so frustrating! I'm the jerk for asking questions but they're not jerks for doing things inappropriately in the first place. They're p!ssed at me because I asked a question about money management which they didn't understand. Nothing to do with embezzling or anything like that - more of a, "Well, if you do X, you have money left over--where does it then go?" question. Naturally they flipped - guilty conscious because they hadn't thought of it? -and took offense to the question.

Scottmom I am SO with you on the point about rather being home with your kids. Here I got involved thinking how much it would benefit my kids, and I'm just not seeing that now, especially for my younger one that isn't in school yet. All she's been seeing is a frustrated woman who is constantly crazed or running around. My husband keeps asking me why I don't just walk away, and while on one hand I'd love to, on the other I feel like it's letting them win. I've spent a lot of time asking myself if it's the control issue that keeps me in--that I'm fighting just to show they're wrong and I'm right, and I just don't see any clear-cut answer. I have to admit that I would hate giving those "women" the pleasure of saying, "Haw-haw--we were right!" when I know they aren't. But it's more than that. I just feel this need to keep plugging away, even though it's making me a pariah in the areas where the "control" to be able to do things in the school is, and even though my son will soon be out of grammar school. I just see so much untapped potential, and it really bums me out that the children could really have such an awesome school if the alpha females would just mellow out a bit and back off.

Writermom--it's funny but I sort of have the opposite problem here. I'd say at least 50% of the moms in our town are stay-at-homes, which probably explains why we have so many people who would like to be involved thus the power struggles. Except that in my case the numbers without college degrees are higher, and anyone who has one is usually looked at with suspicion for being a "know it all." Naturally, I'm one of the "smarty pants" and the alpha females can't stand it that even thought they are in power they know I tend to have more knowledge than they about the PTO thing etcetera. I can't help it if I actually read, go to PTO Today conventions to meet with other people to get ideas and ACTUALLY CARE IF THINGS GET DONE RIGHT!! The funny thing is that there are a couple of alphas with degrees, but they're even more ignorant than the others!

I think what really bothers me is not that people don't like me--God, I've been dealing with that all my life! [img]tongue.gif[/img] It's that because they don't like me they automatically assume they're "right" and they try to manipulate others to go against me. It's sort of unnerving thinking about how much time they spend disliking me and actively working aginst me. I have friends, but the whole activism thing in the school isn't as important to them as it is to me, so they just don't want to get involved unless they have to.

Ah well--it's all a tempest in a teapot when all is said and done, I suppose.

We did send out donation letters asking for items for this event, and because of that, I feel we are ethically, if not legally, bound to use them at this event. I have plenty of backing for my position if this comes up in our meeting next week, but as so many people have chimed in via email supporting me, I'm hoping it's a dead issue. It's really just a power play, IMO.

Assuming here you have advertised this heavily. Therefore you'll have good turnout at your event. If I was one of the guests, I'd want to have a really wide variety of things to consider. Somewhat like going to a widely advertised sale at a store? And then finding out they only have a few things--that don't interest you.

Holding back the stuff makes no sense. I'd think, offer as much as you can, make as much money as you can, who knows what the economy of your area will be like next time around. Or, if there will be anyone willing to do it a next time? And, where you supposed to safely store this held back inventory? Who'd want it in their house? If I was a merchant that donated, and didn't see my donation up there on the tables, I'd be a little miffed. Have you posed any of those questions?

PS. Did you/group send out a donation request letter? What did it say? That you needed donations for THIS auction, or just to "build up inventory" for the future?

I don't understand her logic either.

[ 10-20-2005, 11:20 AM: Message edited by: closetwriter ]

Isn't it better to sell two items for $20 than one item for $35. Stick to your guns. You know that it's a headache now, but listen to us when we tell you that she will realize you have a clue a get out of your way, epescially with your husband in tow.

Her big issue with me is that we have too many auction items and she wants to hold some back for future events. I have explained that that is illogical for so many reasons: businesses donated for this event, the items should be used for this event, so many items are gift cards with expiration dates and need to be used soon, we need to let the market dictate what gets sold and not just arbitrarily decide beforehand, we need to have a good showing since we are inviting the public, etc. She ignores my reasoning and just says, "Well, I still think it's a good idea to hold stuff back." No logic at work here! It helps that no one else is on her side on this issue, and I have privately said to other board members that I am ready to take all of the donations and skip town! I am not stepping down on this issue or the role I have played in this event. I will see this through to the end, and next time I am asked to chair a committee I will say yes, as long as I have the freedom to see the project through. Otherwise she can do it herself and guess what? It won't get done! I will be so glad when this stupid fall festival is over!!