Tim, I agree 100%. Thank you. I felt kind of alone in my opinion of what makes a well-rounded PTO group. Thanks, again.

Chic*Mom, I am very sorry if my post did seem harsh. I believe I mentioned that in the original message and it was not my intent. However, this forum is for discussing our opinions and that is what I felt I was offering. It was not my intent to criticize those new to PTO's. The point I was trying to make was to take every little bit of parental input you can get, including those parents who have senstational ideas but can't actually spend time lots of time at the school. And yes, I am aware know most of us are in it for the kids, but at the same time, there are those who are in to for some type of misdirected powertrip. Maybe this doesn't apply to your school, but in the past our school district has dealt with parents who feel that if you can't show up at every event or meeting, you can't offer opinions or suggestions regarding the PTO. The PTO was basically a closed-door organization until new school administration stepped in and listened to the parents who wanted our PTO to be open to all. Our school changed the stigma of a cliquish PTO through better communication and with the strong backing of this new school administration. To be honest, it has been a great struggle, but well worth the effort. We now accept our low attendance at meetings only because we know the vast majority of our parental community supports us in any way they can. However, we never stop trying to get parents involved, we welcome all parents and not all "seasoned" volunteers run all activities. Again, I wish no one to be offended, it was not my intent to be rude. Ironically, the intention of my post was to suggest that we all accept everyone's contribution to the PTO whether it be big or small. Sadly, my contribution to this discussion was taken on the offense. Again, I apologize.

As a note I want you all to know I posted this question/post to you all to see what goes on at your school & how you handle it not because I have a need for someone to give me the credit.. I too am working hard for my school, I also do scouts, teach art, coach soccer and have 3 kids!I do it when I am tired, when I am busy, and yes even sometimes when I am sick! I do it because I love my children and I want them to have the best education! I know that my district is bankrupt and that if my daughter wants to go on a fieldtrip I must help raise the money... I do it because my son will want a halloween carnival, and with out the parents there will be none! I do it because I love getting to know the people who are teaching my children & are helping to molding them into who they will be as adults! I do get something out of it... I get the feeling of accomplishment, the feeling of helping & making a difference in childrens lives.. not just my children! So by asking "Where are the parents" I was posing the simple question of where are other parents, how are they felling about the schools do they want to help? How can we involve all those who want to be involved & yes why do some not want to be! This is not a old subject LuvmiKids it is new to those of us just joining the leadership of the PTA/PTO's accross the county we are trying to see how other schools do it & how we can use their ideas to included more families! [img]tongue.gif[/img] [img]tongue.gif[/img] [img]tongue.gif[/img]

[ 07-30-2002: Message edited by: chic*mom ]</p>

In every facet of life, it seems people have to explain themselves. I think this "Where are the parents" issue is another example. From a personal perspective, I volunteer heavily in my community with scouts, and I have been on the executive board of my children's PTO for a number of year. What do I get out of it? I get satisfaction out of knowing I am trying to better the lives of children. I'm a Mom, it's my job, that's my reason and I'm sticking to it. Many parents have busy schedules and cannot commit to volunteering. Personally, when my youngest were babies, my volunteering only stretched so far. In a PTO perspective, my family came first, volunteering second. I can personally vouch for the fact that the amount of baby step volunteering I did (cultural arts) was well received and appreciated. Now, with full-time students, volunteering takes up a huge amount of my day. Does that make me a better person. NOOOO! What makes me a better person is that whether I was volunteering with baby steps (literally) or in great strides, I gave the best I could. I was honest with my time constraints and was supported the whole time by good friends on the PTO. That is what we should expect from each other. We should strive to bring out the best of each other. You can all agree that every single one of our PTO's has that champion fundraiser parent, the donation getter parent, the party planning parent, etc. Every person has a distinct talent that they can contribute. One of the posts mentioned weeding out people not complimentary to the PTO culture. What the heck is the definition of the PTO culture? Sounds pretty petty and biased to me. Metzy Mom makes a good point. You try and try and you get what you get. Accept it. Our PTO did and it works for us. The usual attendance at our meetings is about 10. We'll work with it. We feel the parenting community must be happy with our handling the "details" because they do not complain, they show up at events to help when asked and things in general do run pretty smooth. Any suggestions are welcome either at our meetings or a teacher or parent contacts us via phone or our in-box. We have a few unofficial rules not exactly listed in our by-laws: Don't bite off more than you can chew when it comes to planning, stay open-minded and fair, welcome, welcome and welcome the parents again (it is a vicious cycle, Metzy Mom!) and remember what it was like when you took that baby step into PTO land. It wasn't too easy. I remember being a little nervous planning my first event and I bet most of you did too. Give some parents a break; everyone's homelife and lifestyle is not conducive to being a PTO member and it does not mean they do not love or care about their kids. Spending time with kids opens your eyes to a lot of diffent families. We could spend hours comparing "horror" stories I am sure. The point is, the vast majority of PTO members say they are in it for the kids. Just make sure you are in it for ALL the kids, even if their parents can't volunteer. Nine times out of ten, the invisible parents are the ones ordering the most cookie dough and wrapping paper and making it possible for the PTO to do all the great things they do for the school. My post may also seem harsh to some, but this "Where are the parents" issue is an old one. The answer to this question could be, the lucky parents are involved in the school and deriving extereme satisfaction from making a difference in the children's lives, and the remaining parents are secretly thankful they are.

This is the Glory I'm talking about Metzymom the

Be it the title, the glory (I'm still trying to figure out what glory everyone is talking about...lol), financial gain,

Glory- renown honor, adoring praise, renown distinction. A few (there were some in our school) take an Office for the distinction of being known as a PTO Officer, thinking they are to be praised for what they do, honored and given gifts at the end of the year. I'm not and I think most aren't, in this for the Praise, honor, or distinction or any gifts. I do not think I am better than anyone else and I don't want anyone to think that I am or that I think that way. I will give the credit where credit is due, will not take it all for myself. If something goes wrong I will take the blame and not push it off on anyone else. I am in this for what I can do to help the children and the school. To show not just my child, but all the children that someone cares. I don't want my son to be like the little girl from his kindergarten class that cried because she was the only one without a parent at their "class room graduation", or the little boy in my sons first grade class, whose mom kept promising to be there and never showed, and he cried. I'll be there for all the children. I'll hug them and try to get them to lol. One boy told me last year that one of their other teachers had said what a good mother I was. He told me "I don't think your a good mother. I think your a GREAT mother." This is the sweetest little boy you could ever want to meet. Then one day he came in and was saying how the police had come to his house and told his dad they had better never see anymore bruises on him. He got a beating because he had poured out to much shampoo while taking a bath. I'm not in the school to just raise funds or provide things. It goes way beyond that for me. I want to open parents eyes and get them to see that having a child is a blessing from God. They are not animals that you beat, or throw away when your tried of them. That there are all kinds of ways to be involved in your childs life and have a great time. To not make a promise that you can't keep, your just teaching your child to do the same thing. To go to the programs that your children are preforming at, they have worked hard to learn their part and just want to show you how good they can do. They are learning to work as a team with their classmates. They can learn this better by seeing you work as a team, even if it is making phone calls, sending in toys or snack for someone that can't afford them, or even just taking a few minutes at night and work on spelling words/reading with your child, that's team work. It's gotten to be a world of "what do I get out of it." and a lot of excuses as to why "I can't." I don't want Glory, I don't even need a thank you. I just like to know that I did my best to make a difference. Maybe by someone seeing what I do, hearing what I say, they might start to do too. Maybe we can get our schools and families back to where we didn't have to be afraid of guns and abuse so much. Believe me I do live in the real world. This is just a dream I have of how I would like our society to be. I will do what ever I can for our school, but the children will always come first. One reason I would like more parents involved in schools, is so they can see what we that work in them see. Maybe just maybe things would change. One parent at a time, working with another parent that might be overwhelmed, shy or need an ear. So, don't give me the Glory (praise, honor or distinction), give me your ideas, your help and a child your heart.

[ 07-29-2002: Message edited by: PTOmomof5 ]</p>