New kids,

Perhaps the best thing you could do is hae a general meeting and ask the membership how much decision making they want to be in on. A coupl of years ago when people were complaining about the length of meetings, the board sat down and looked at what was making the meetings so long. We found that we were spending large amounts of time discussing all the fundraising offers we received and small dollar amount items. WE went to the general membership with the option of letting the board make decisions on items under $100(we still report the expenditure in the treasurer's report at the next meeting) and to allow the board to go through the enormous amount of fundraising material and narrow it down to two or three and then have the general membership make decisions on those. It cut our meetings way down and didn't leave everyone so bored. There are things that the board alone can handle-but still report to the membership but leaving the membership our of all decisions is a sure-fire way to lose those members. Can you say clique?

Think of it as a business, you'll make decisions that some parents (like employees) do not like. With 3 bad seeds, you'll find 20 great people that you'll become friends with, etc. You volunteering will be more rewarding than the problems you face. I think you should run. Your advantage is that you know ahead of time going into it what these people are like. Without the help of your president or you, these people will self-destruct. I vent all the time here and am always told to kill 'em with kindness. It's the best advice you'll get.

Your post could be written by some many of the PTO's here. There are strong, vocal, "I'm right and you're not" members in any group you join and it takes a president who is willing to funnel that ego into an area where it does the most good. I have a couple of those types in my group and although it is frustrating to deal with, these women can be so useful. Learn tact and diplomacy (if you don't already have it in abundance) and direct like a ship's captain. Run for president! You may be the turning point that your group needs. And find a confidante who you can gripe to and then be able to move on...

Good luck! :cool:

And people wonder why so many moms take Zanax...

If you were willing before, please run for the board. Your PTO needs you.
They need someone to counter balance these problems and help people feel welcome.
They need someone to help people learn to work around these women so they can stay involved in their kids schools.
They need someone to keep the PTO intact and out of the hands of a few people that would alientate the volunteers.
They need leadership.
Good luck

I was going to try to be the president of PTO next year to help turn it around and start off fresh. but if they are on the board I am not going to be on it.

Don't loose that thought, modify it. Still run, and in the chance you make it, become the person that makes it hard for them have to work with...did that sound right? Kill'em with kindness basically.

You are also doing something I get into trouble for, trying to see the future when your crystal ball is in the shop . Please, focus your attention on this year, the here and now. Also, what would you advise your child(ren) in the same situation. Hey, crazy, but it works, or at least gives us a different way of looking at a cr_ppy situation. I read this incredible book "How to behave so that your children will" and learned A LOT!
Really, it's all a game and she is letting them win, I would too ,probably but know that I can come back. Right now the Prez needs your support. period. Remember that song from the 80's "Nothing gonna breaka my stride, nothing gonna slow me down..." She needs all the strides you all got. Make her stronger than them .

Don't worry, someday I'll take my own advise

This is a great place to vent, my husband loves it!

I completely understand where you're coming from. We are starting a pto here. We have only briefly looked at the bylaws that were left from years ago. The only real things mentioned are elections and duties of officers. So after a couple of just officer's meeting and a few months have passed with no membership meeting as of yet. I put out an email to the officers that we needed to start deciding what decisions members would be in on and what rights that might have in the organization. This after hearing some parents were unhappy that we had made some decisions without any input. Suprise to me at least 2 of our officers do not believe membership conveys any rights. And it didn't look like any one wanted to be involved , even thouth we had over 30 parents come to just the informaiton meeting saying they would help. one stated that their right was to elect us and then trust us to make the right decisions. I have heard that some ptos run that way but we have already had one pto fail here and I do not want to see it go again just because some seem to like power. Resigning came to mind, but I'm sticking it out for right now. I'm for opening the whole process up to the parents as much as possible hopefully I can get them to at least let the parents give final approval of the budget.
We've just had a board sponsored fundraiser. cookie dough . Because we had no volunteers and 3 officers work. The bulk of the money counting fell to 2 of us and some help from the principal's tas. It took us a week to do.
All this to say, do not give up the quest for what you feel is right.

True ,perhaps someday I may decide to give up this one battle and just try to get more volunteers in the classroom. I really want parent involvement any way I can get it.
But til then I have just sent out another email about looking at a budget and our bylaws.
I just refuse to give up.

Thanks for sticking it out. This from parents everywhere.