mbg, I liked what someone said in an earlier forum. If being involved with your parent group is totally stressing you out and you are just hitting brick walls, find some other way to be involved. Help out in your child's classroom. Ask your principal if there is another way to be involved and volunteer in the school other that the parent group. It is not healthy for you or your family to be under such stress constantly. When these people move on,then you can get involved again and do damage control. In the meantime, maybe it is just not worth it right now. If they are wanting to cut some fund raisers, let them. They will eventually feel the effects, and then it will be their problem to deal with. Let them clean up the messes they make, and let them figure it out. In short let them get ulcers, instead of you!!!
I have been reading your posts for the last month or so and have been trying to think of something to say that would be helpful. We too have had an upsetting election this year. I have been president in the past and was relieved when someone else took over last year. I still am very active in the group. I have more energy to focus on specific projects, instead of worried about the whole picture. I had worked hard to get new members. Now we have them and they want to take over. (Beware what you wish for!) I am sad because they do not have any experience. I am encouraged because they have a lot of enthusiasm. Its too bad that women just can't get along and work together. I will still be there and try not to run the show. And when asked for my advice, if asked, I will give it. I have put 17 years into our school with 3 more to go. I can't give up so easily. The right people will know who has worked hard with the right intentions. Keep up the good works for the kids.
Honestly- I wish I would have known about this site 3 years ago...I really could have used all my new found friends on this site.....Please don't go gals!
I'm just venting here... please don't mind the babbling I just have to get this out!!!
I quit my position of Vice Pres this year and newly elected Co-Pres for next year. I couldn't take the pettynes any longer. I ran the board since October with little help from the rest of the board (including the Pres). The last thing that drove me off was the refusal of any of them to help me at an event and then complain that they would have to reimburse me financially and that I didn't do this or that the way they always did it! Where were they? I'm not sure they don't have an answer for that. I spoke with the new VP yesterday and she has already gotten "the look and attitude" from the main offender and leader of the "group". I never told anyone outside of the board the real reason I resigned - I wanted the PTO to have a good imaged! - but the first thing that came out of her mouth was "I know who drove you to quit and I can't blame you"
The board has now begun to tell parents that I couldn't handle my position and it was suggested by them that I leave! I feel like I've been stabbed in the back and they keep twisting the knife. I found out that they stopped EVERY fundraiser and event that I put into motion because they don't have the time to "be bothered with her (my) stuff" By doing this the PTO will lose no less than $2,000 next year. Many of these people will be aging out in a year or 2 my children will be at this school for 5 more years. I've been asked by the principal and 2 others on the board to reconsider and I want to just so that things will get better (the parents have lost a lot of faith in the PTO the last 3 years and just began to pick back up this year) but I can't work with these people and elections are over so they are there to stay.
I think venzmama has a good idea. I tried that a couple times and no one spoke their mind. I suggest you each bring someone with you so that you feel comfortable in what can only be described as a difficult situation. I know it would have helped my confidence.
If that doesn't work, tell them you'll meet 'em out back...lol...don't freak Tim! I'm kidding. [img]tongue.gif[/img]
Have you thought about trying conflict resolution using a third party mediator...maybe the school counselor? Things have to be laid on the table in a neutral environment and dealt with. She has problems with you, you have problems with her, these need to be resolved before you can work together for the good of the PTO. Remember there are always two sides and it wouldn't hurt for each of you to know where the other is coming from.
