MTmOM,
I'm a bit confused as to the organizational structure of your group, ie. Officers, executive board members,... Do you have an approved set of bylaws or a charter or some type of operating guidelines?
To lose the support of the Principal and/or the school administration is a bad thing. To not have the Principal attend meetings because of safety reasons is REALLY bad.
Your group's officers need to make an appointment and meet with the Principal in her office (during the daylight hours) and discuss what is going on.
I also just wanted to add that the only parent group meeting she attended was our first of this year. Interupting the agenda she had to add that she had no idea where our funds had been spent in the past year. THis was in front of the new members and completely took the 15 faithful members by shock. She was given a written and oral report on everything we had spent our funds on. A lot of the expenditures were at her suggestion. The group felt in total that she purposely led the new members to think we were an irresponsible entity. Most have not come back. I was heartbroken and dumbfounded. I could never walk in a room and lie so blatantly to hurt so many innocent, well-meaning people. After that meeting, as president I tried to maintain a relationship for the kids sake. She then informed me she couldn't attend any future parent group meetings because she didn't feel safe and welcome there. I told her it was probably best.
We have been an established parent/school group for the past 5 years. We started with 4 members and have grown to 16-20. We have run school festivals, Missoula Children's Theater, Graduation gifts, back to school night activities and have even provided the only hot lunch program the school offers two days a week. We also fund field trips, teacher appreciation lunches as well as staff and have bought playground equipment. The new principal left us alone the first year, but this year she has done everything in her power to make us look unnecessary. She told the board it was against policy for us to show any apprecitation towards the teachers (a large part of what we believe in and do), also we couldn't spend any of our budget on anyone or for anything the group wanted to do, such as for food to welcome new members. The board, completely under her control has agreed with all her suggestions except for the one where she wanted a committee of parents appointed by her to oversee the parent group. OUr feeling was that if they cared enough, they could come to the meetings and vote like everyone else. THe funny thing was every parent suggested for the group had just joined the school one month earlier. When I informed the board that no one was interested in doing the drama camp or silent auction this year because of morale being so low, the principal remarked, maybe its for the best, lets get some new parents in here. If these new parents were so interested why did they never show up to support anything all year? and why are the parents that have served lunch for five years for free treated so badly?
Perhaps you could start with a small group (2 or 3 people)from your organization and have a meeting with the principal to discuss what she/he expects from your group and what you have to offer the school. As someone new to the school-perhaps she/he is feeling a little overwhelmed by all the PTO does. Our principal will be retiring within the next year or two and I wonder how a new principal will respond to us. Our PTO is VERY involved in what goes on in the school and provides lots of programs. I hope for your group's sake it is just a simple matter of misunderstanding what the PTO is trying to do. You're not trying to run the school(I hope), but you are trying to help the principal and the staff provide a better education for your children and trying to foster family togetherness. Please keep us posted on your efforts.
Yeah, I agree with mum24. "Principals behaving badly" is a problem that show sup equally for both PTOs and PTAs.
The solution there is local. Are you an established, independent PTO (which would be the equivalent of a PTA)? Have you had discussions with the principal about why you think independence and cooperation are better for the school in the long-term?
Generally speaking, no, I think it's safe to say that putting in any new group will not solve your problems. And it may just add to them, depending on what the problems are.
I'm a little bit confused by your post, though.... Are you a formal group now that calls itself something other than a PTA or PTO? Or is there no formal group at all now?
Again, speaking in generalities, the day to day operations of a PTO vs. a PTO are not all that different. And you'll find many of those groups are unwilling to take a formal position on school policies.
Maybe if you give some specific examples, someone who has had similar experiences can give you better advice.
