On the roll--love your quote and your attitude. Congratulations for defining the 'secret' to enjoying the PTO Presidency....I used to love the way we put it in another organization with which I worked..."Lead, follow or get the hell out of the way."
There are so many who never really do anything to help but judge from the corner. A few weeks ago I was feeling like our EXTREMELY dedicated board was a quartet performing on American Idol.
Sitting at the PTO meeting table singing our little hearts out about all the terrific accomplishments of the year and the energized volunteers that made it all happen and all the wonderfully fantastic things happening in the next month or so. Everyone is happy and swaying right along to the "music." THEN I spot THEM. Them that we try to develop relationships with. Them that we ask to give of their specific skills and talents. Them that we constantly ask their opinions and advice. Them that we invite to breakfast but never see. Them - staring (glaring) at the whole group and just waiting for the song to end so they can take our 10++++ score crashing down to a 2 at best.
Unfortunately, this time of year I take it personally as burn out is creeping in anyway. I go home and beat myself up thinking it's my job to keep the harmony and feeling like I've let down my fellow board members and the FANTASTIC volunteers we have. The last time I was feeling this way, sitting at home about to type my resignation and just let them have the whole thankless pile, I heard Oprah on TV in the background. She was talking to guests about "The Secret" and I heard this:
"Mediocrity always attacks excellence. If you go beyond mediocrity, others will attack you because they feel uncomfortable in your presence. To support you, they have to admit they lack courage."
I shared this with my fellow board members and several volunteers who were feeling like me. We're fine now and THEM faded away but we're stronger as a group for when the next THEM shows up - and they will.
Stay strong, continue to celebrate each other's successess and don't let THEM get you down. THEM is just passing through.
let her run with it.. she will soon create her own reputation. When she confronts some of your board members, tell them all to have a stiff upper lip, and handle her by saying " thank you so much for your interest. I can see you are passionate about our PTO, what would you like to do to participate? ( or , what, exactly is it you want us to say, or do??)
I have found that with people like this ( and we all have one).. the best way to diffuse them and take the wind out of their sails is to be VERY nice, VERY professional, and VERY welcoming.. over and over and over again.. and NEVER EVER lose your cool or say the wrong thing.. or address their gossip!
after further thought, you dont 'do' anything with her.
ignore the rumors and gossip. they may be false or misleading at best
if she has a gripe about PTO, why on earth doesnt she come to you directly to discuss her 'accustiaons'? maybe the rumors are false, and someone is trying to slander her for some personal reason. you just NEVER know.
i loved the AP story today about 4 women who were fired for gossiping about their boss. now its a free speech matter.
This is the President's job to deal with. The President should have a discussion, privately, with this person to try to understand their point. The President can then try to help resolve the issues, such as the "stealing", etc.
kill her with kindness and charm! 
