I do think speaker programs, like your police officer, internet safety speaker, etc., bring in parents. There are so many demands on their time that I think creating social occasions for them to attend doesn't work anymore--too much competition. But they will attend forums that address their worries and concerns. I'm reading a new book called Preventing Addiction: What Parents Must Know to Immunize Their Kids Agains Drug and Alcohol Addiction, by John C. Fleming, a family practitioner. Every once in a while he'll slip in a Christian reference, but mostly it is excellent objective advice based on studies and his experiences as a family doctor, and encouragement for changing the way we think about and address the drug problems and how vital it is to do so at a young age. He is on the speaker circuit. As are the Mother and Son team who wrote from Binge to Blackout. I know my friend's high school in the Chicago suburbs had them come for a lunchtime presentation that was super well-attended.

That's another tack by the way, to do lunchtime activities to draw in parents.

The gist of Fleming's book is that although addiction is rarely diagnosed until one is an adult, for the overwhelming majority of addicts, they began down the road as children. Fleming makes it more understandable how the young brain is affected by chemicals, how the "communication" between neurotransmitters and synapses is interrupted and so on. Yikes! I recommend the book to all middle school and high school parents. The days when we could afford to accept that all kids "experiment" are coming to an end if we choose to actually address the magnitude of the problem of drugs in schools, which affect the ability of our children to be educated as well as their brain development.

OK, off my soapbox. I do appreciate the people who volunteer to try to contribute to the school environmjent through PTO activities. And fundraising for school projects is also important. But it is not THE most important thing and I'm afraid schools are not putting as many of their resources as they could toward drug prevention. Oops, got back on the soapbox.

Mother Warrior, Mother Warriors

We had the same problem with our middle school - maybe 10-12 parents per meeting but in the beginning of the year we sent home an interest finder/volunteer sheet. Out of about 775 students in our school we received about 350 back, most with email addresses. That led me to surmise that although not many parents attended the meetings almost half felt they were directly connected to our club. We used our meetings for "housework" ie. things like committee reports; principal report, treasurer's report. Then we put out a detailed secretary's report and published it in the school newsletter so everyone could see what was going on. We also used our email addresses to ask people's opinions, fill out a poll or ask a question.

We brought in a speaker on internet safety who went online during the presentation and showed us what was out there. We also did a combination meeting with our high school, bringing in an undercover cop, to report on the drug/alcohol problems in our area. In both those presentation we probably had 75 people which I thought was great. However, when our school was receiving bomb threats, we filled our auditorium (600 seats) when our superintendent and principal spoke at our meeting.

For fundraising we used some passive ones such as a percent of profits from a local restaurant on our "school night." That brought in about $650. We sold advertising on our family folder which was brought home each week; that gave us another $500 or so. We also sold frozen food - cookie dough and pies. We co-sponsored an end-of-the-year party with inflatables; a Halloween dance and some other things for the school which weren't included in the normal budget.

Face it, by the time kids are in middle school the last people they want to see at school are their parents.

I hear the struggle that today's modern family has with staying involved in their children's lives. I come from the academic side of this conversation but see real value in the drug side as well. Middle school is the time that our struggling students start to hit the fan. Losing them in middle school generally leads to academic failure in high school. I've been using a program called ASAPlink.net to communicate daily with parents of students in our after school program called The Homework Club .

Staying involved for single parents and parents with several children in today's economically challenged society becomes nearly impossible. I'm of the mind that parents are not to blame and that our systems of communication need to change to reflect our current society. Everyone has a cell phone and I do mean everyone, but not everyone has a computer or a phone (land line). The technology to easily keep in touch with parents through text messaging in any language is available. Schools could globally send messages of all kinds and teachers with just a few extra minutes a month could send messages to those in most need.

Caring means eliminating any shame or blame associated with hard to reach parents. Success looks very different in 2007. I'd be happy to speak with any school administrator or organization about these types of parent teacher communication. This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.

I am trying to figure out a way to reach middle and high school counseling department all over the country. The point is not for everyone to come to my site and read my story, but to know about and get connected with the resource links on my blog, which will prove invaluable to any parent who has done all the right things but still ends up with a child who is using drugs and alcohol. The hardest thing for parents early on is drawing the line between "experimentation" and being completely clueless about the extent and variety of drug availability and increasing drug use in schools. If anyone has any ideas please let me know through my blog or this site. Thanks. Mother Warrior
Mother Warriors

I feel the same way. I feel that our children need parent involvement at this age than in elementary level. We need to be there in all aspects of their lives. Know who there friends are, ask them what they did at school today. I have set up a parent connect community outreach program at our middle school this year that will have guest speakers for just that reason. To discuss the topics everyone is afraid to bring up or ignore. I seen first hand at our middle school last year that there is drug use at this age. We need to educate parents on the warning signs, how to help if there is a problem, and where to get help. Also to learn more about the internet. Understanding it, knowing how to set limits, and blocks. I will visit your blog, and thanks for sharing your story, I would like to tell your story to our school pto.
Good luck to you and your son.

Maybe parents need to believe they're making a difference by becoming involved in PTO. I look at these threads and so many are about fundraising and extraneous issues. Print flyers, email, and send notices inviting parents to an informational meeting with a police officer or parent representative who will talk about DRUGS IN SCHOOLS. This is the crucial age for introduction to drugs. My son started smoking marijuana--which was readily available in our "School of Excellence"--in 8th grade. By ninth grade he was using cocaine. His use escalated to heroin. He was in 5 residential treatment programs by the age of 18. He is working a good recovery program at age 19, but lost several years of his life to drug abuse.

Parents can make a difference in teen drug use early on. Visit my blog at Mother Warriors for some ideas.

Parent volunteers and parent presence at schools is one thing that can break the cycle and make a difference. Please put that on your PTO agenda. IT is of vital importance. And if you think you don't have drug use at your middle schools, check my blog and the resource links on it. You do.

Thanks and good luck, Mother Warrior (been there, wish I'd done it different). Talk to your kids, talk to other parents, talk to your schools, talk to your government about adolescent addiction. It's a killer.