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Parents of all styles challenge!

17 years 4 months ago #129407 by justavolunteer
Thank you! Plain and simple, thank you for the excellent advice - both times. i respect and appreciate the time and thought you have given to this. And I have truly taken your words to heart.

I will be sure to let you know about all the "smiles"!

Thanks again...
17 years 4 months ago #129404 by CrewChief
It takes all kinds...... as the saying goes. :D

Pals, I've never perceived your posts to be anything but helpful and positive. You can never know when you send your words out into cyberspace how they'll be received. But with your three years of membership to this forum and your honorary hall of fame status, I can only guess that you work with the best of intentions.

One of my biggest challenges as a leader is managing diversity. It seems to be human nature to segregate ourselves. I believe my nomadic lifestyle has helped me develop an adaptive personality. It was definitely something I had to develop because I wasn't born with it or encouraged to have it in my all white, all middle-class, all traditional family, '70s neighborhood. Some days it's obvious that I still need more practice... :rolleyes: but I'm getting there....

Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for awhile and leave footprints on our hearts. And we are never, ever the same."

"The ultimate aim of karate lies not in victory or defeat but in the true perfection of one's character."
17 years 4 months ago #129403 by me_n_rory
I know the thread you are speaking of, and I say THANK YOU for what you said in that one and in this one! We all can learn much from what you wrote here and maybe the next time we see someone who isn't doing it "our way" we can get over ourselves, reach out and be oh so very greatful for their willingness to just be there to help. At the end of the day, we all want the same thing here, the very best for our children.


"Be the change you wish to see in the world!"
-gandhi
17 years 4 months ago #129401 by beignets&coffee
Replied by beignets&coffee on topic RE: Parents of all styles challenge!
the key word to making diverse, or any group, work, INMO, is: TOLERANCE.

Many adults sadly lack that, and if the leaders dont have it, the goup is a clique and doesnt work. kudos to you and your attitude, its nice to hear a good story after the recent less than good stories about how adults sometimes dont or dont even try, to get along.
17 years 4 months ago #129400 by pals
I have been thinking about a post that I responded to earlier and between that and my own group's 'growing pains' I felt like I need to respond. So please bear with me and I apologize if this gets long.

Earlier a response I made was made out of love, love for parent groups and the work they do. I can remember when I started PTO, I didn't see me as 'one of them', I didn't see me as 'fitting in', I didn't see me as that 'June Cleaver' type. I saw me as a regular mom, I wear worn jeans, baggy sweaters and no make up, heck I don't own make up!

When I found myself years ago suddenly being asked to run our newly form group I remember those first words, "I don't think I will do a good job". I hated talking with people, would rather be alone and forget the thought of working with people who were different than me. You know what though? Diversity in a parent group is truly probably the hardest thing a group has to do. I knew there were people against me, what did i do? I called them and asked for their advice on a project, I challenged them to help me and not to put me down.

Think about it, there are middle class, lower class, upper class, you have short people, fat people, skinny people, people who drive a beat up car, people who have no car, people who drives a hummer. Quiet people(that is me...ha ha ha), loud people, smart people, not so smart people (thats me...ha ha ha) and so on.
You can have so much in one group, the more you grow the bigger the problem gets, so and so doesn't want to work with so and so. Or I don't think she will do a good job is heard behind her back, or sometimes it is just our personalities don't match.

Does that mean we need to lash out? Does that mean that we need to quit our groups? Does that mean that things will never work because you have 75 different parents with 75 different personalities and life styles. Does it mean it can't work?

No that isn't what it means, it means that as adults we need to do exactly what we tell our kids, you know that talk about diversity, about people being different, abour respecting each other. It means we need to look at those smiles at our events and even if we have to work with the volunteer from heck we still TOGETHER put those smiles on those faces.

This has been a hard lesson for me, the more we grew , the more diverse we got but when we come together, stick our differences aside we are a power house. Does it mean you may never be good friends with everyone, yeah maybe you won't be, but what is going to matter is ten years from now when your child says "mom, do you remember the night we had the fall fest?"
That is what it is truly about and to think that things will always be perfect amongst all of us is wrong, but to realize that we can work as a team and accomplish huge things is right.

The only reason I posted earlier was because it was sad that so many groups lets that diversity get in the way, all of the hard work and all of the kids is the reason to put it all aside, don't give into it, work it out and move ahead. I speak from some experience, I am not afraid to say that. It is through those mistakes that I am seeing clearly now, I see that one hour is just as important as 50 hours, I see that Suzie may be cutting stuff out at home, but that is still giving.I have learned that all of that negative energy can be used in so many ways.

I am proud of my group, I am proud of every school volunteer that we have, I could not ask for a more dedicated group of people. We also all know that if things sometimes get tensed it is better to laugh and smile about it than to talk and B&%$# about it. We are all in this together, and I hope by me writing this if one person sees that diversity can work then I can smile knowing that I have helped someone who is gving time to a great effort! Like I said you may never be best friends but you can be a heck of a team!!

"When you stop learning you stop growing."
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