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Problem Parent

18 years 2 months ago #115166 by CrewChief
Replied by CrewChief on topic RE: Problem Parent
covp155 - I am an overinvolved parent. My reasons may be completely different from your own "Super Mom" but maybe hearing from the other side may give you a different perspective.

I LOVE volunteering at my son's school for many reasons. When he was little, I couldn't quite cut the apron strings. He is an only child and I needed to let go gradually. When we later moved to a new town/school it gave both of us a way to meet new people. Now that he's older, I still volunteer but just not in activities that cause us to cross paths very often. I love the friends I've made, am glad to be serving an awesome community and enjoy using the skills I formerly wasted on an unappreciative corporate gig. And, frankly, there are a lot of services that our school can offer the students only because we have a good solid core of volunteers willing to be at the school on a regular basis

I do have some self control. As I decide which things to get involved in, I ask myself a few questions:

1. Does this invade my son's growing need for independence?

2. Am I in the way of other equally anxious parents looking for a way to get involved?

3. Does the school need and appreciate the service?

I have, from time to time, gotten the "is she here again?" look from other parents. That's my cue to back off and reevaluate my involvement.

Maybe your own Super Mom needs some gentle guidance and understanding. Or, maybe she just needs a friend.

Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for awhile and leave footprints on our hearts. And we are never, ever the same."

"The ultimate aim of karate lies not in victory or defeat but in the true perfection of one's character."
18 years 2 months ago #115165 by my3strongtikes
Replied by my3strongtikes on topic RE: Problem Parent
I know some people can be overbearing at times, but my question is. Is she making everyone uncomfortable. Some people just like to run the show, but really aren't sure how to do it. Maybe give her committees or jobs that fit her personality or specific jobs that need to be done.
If she is volunteering and doing it from the heart but has a few little issues I would see what you could do to turn them to good use.

I do agree with the psychology degree which I started in when I went to school and sometimes it comes in handy doing this PTO stuff.


Cindy

Cindy<br />
<br><br />
<br>____________________________________________<br />
<br>&quot;People have the right to be stupid, but some abuse the privelege.&quot;
18 years 2 months ago #115164 by pals
Replied by pals on topic RE: Problem Parent
Since this person is well liked I am guessing that she is there for the "right" reasons, if your staff, principal were having problems with her then I would say she was there for the wrong reasons. There really isn't anything such as a too involved parent in my book...I know there have been times I have said geesh I wish I didnt have to work and I could be there...a little resentment on my part. Don't let your personal feelings get in the way here or you may llok like the bad guy in the long run, you will never like every person you come across but how you act to the ones you don't like will say alot about you!!

&quot;When you stop learning you stop growing.&quot;
18 years 2 months ago #115163 by fortheschool
Replied by fortheschool on topic RE: Problem Parent
Since this person is well liked amongst the teachers and the staff, then she must be doing good. She has many followers that have signed up this year becasue of her. She makes a point to get things done for us. I guess I wil have to get over my personal feelings for her and let it be. Prehaps its none of my business how much she helps out.
18 years 2 months ago #115162 by Clara
Replied by Clara on topic RE: Problem Parent
I think that if you have a volunteer at school every day, at every event that is always offering assistance they are probably getting something out of the volunteer work they do. It appears to me that this person is wanting to be involved in their child's school. If they are following the rules, they should be allowed to voulunteer.

My point about psychology is not that this person is crazy or that you are crazy but that through the study of psychology you learn what makes people tick (think/behave the way they do), both healthy and unhealthy people. That is a great skill to have when dealing with all different types of personalitlies. I was not implying that anyone is mentally unstable. But sometimes I wonder what makes me keep going back for more. And the answer is that the good still outweighs the bad. That may change one day, who knows.

Why do you want her gone? I am assuming that she is a happy, friendly, good volunteer. Is she there everyday causing trouble, criticizing teachers and questioning every policy the district ever put into place? In that case, she is a bully out to cause trouble and you need to find a way to deal with her.

The middle ground is in my opinion to try to get to know her better to find out first hand her motives and why she volunteers so much. You may be surprised. Just stay positive. I am sure there is room in the school for both of you.
18 years 2 months ago #115161 by fortheschool
Replied by fortheschool on topic RE: Problem Parent
Explain to me how a volunteer can be a bully?
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