I don't get how you were 'harnessed' into being president or how could be appointed chair of a committee without knowing it, but I suppose that's moot.
Study your bylaws and figure out just what sort of power it gives the president and use that to restore order to your group.
Call the bluff of someone who is complaining and ask them in front of everyone if they'd take on the project next time. Tell people that the meeting is for conducting group business and not blowing smoke and if they are not calling for an action they should not be addressing the group.
The answer to any complaint should be "What do you propose we should do?" If they don't know, then they are wasting everyone's time.
Report the past and discuss the future.
If meetings are really bad, cancel all but the legal minimum.
Get the board together and have it out. Meet privately with the treasurer and have it out. Get to the bottom of whatever it is that's going on with this PTO.
Remember that you are the president, not 'everyone' else. You had to get things done and you did. If they weren't perfect, you should learn and do better next time. You are still in charge.
Also, you are not 'just' a mom. You are a mom. And THE mom who is president of the PTO.
If you don't want to straighten things out, run. If these folks are as nasty as you make them out to be, I'm not sure I'd want to deal with them.
I would try and bring in some of those sensible people you mentioned and try not to allow the BS to get in the way of the meetings.
I had mentioned in the 'evil principal' thread that I can't understand a principal that butts heads with the parent group. I really can't believe it when group members infight. Where were these people at election time?
If you don't expect too much from me, you might not be let down. <img src=images/smilies/smile.gif>
I have concerns: First of all I was unknowingly tapped last year and attended a meeting to be harnessed into President. Nervously I accepted the position concerned about approval. As I have never worked on PTO but have ran a small corporation, I ran with things as I knew how, I read PTO magazine all summer and prepared for the upcoming year. In July I started leaving messages for board members concerning orientation. When I received response I informed people of my intentions for orientation. When we started the school year we were in a deficit of $400. I was also unknowingly appointed spirit wear chair which was a committee that has been around for three years but no one ever did anything with. Well I do not like to except resposibilities lightly so I contacted a locally vendor worked out a situation where we could receive defer payments until after we sold shirts.
two members of the board communicated inefficatively or not at all with me. So I continued we had 6 volunteers and 3 board members at the orientation, 670 students go to this middle school. At orientation we signed 85 volunteers about filled all of our chairs (not officially of course) and made over 1000 in profits! The August meeting no one showed up! but the Sept everyone showed up and much to my surprise they were unhappy with me and critized me on everything I had done. I am just a mom and wanted to have a fun year helping the school promote positive programs for our children. I feel instead we are caught up in a situation of control being the main focus.
I am frustrated and upset that the people whom dont return phone calls or help at the events would be soo ugly to those of us who do.
Our treasurer has even went to the extent of turning my words against me and leaving harrassing phone calls on my machine yelling at me at meetings and e-mailing everyone insisting I be voted off of the board. I let her vent at 2 meetings and reminded everyone of the e-mail, everyone acted as if they did not know what I was talking about and I told them we need to go forth in a positive manner and I will not be discussed again as after two meetings discussion concerning my removal was over. The principal spoke up and said she did not want any more ugly e-mails going around or to hear any complaints anymore or she will dissolve the PTO. I reminded her that I had not involved her and she publicly acknowledged this. As reading PTO today I knew she could dissolve us already. Also her job is to run the school not mediate between grown-ups!!!
I am so upset that PTO seems to run this way. When did control issues overcome the good of the children. People whom dislike me have openly admitted THE GOOD OF THE CHILDREN is my main goal. So what could be the problem.
It is very disheartening to see grown adults misbehaving more than their children!!!!
Everyone will not like everyone...So what work as a team and get the job done.
I feel they will fight great ideas just to fight.
We are going yet another month unprotected by insurance do to this behaviour.
I need solid advice, As I am new to this organization...With every year PTO loses parent involvement and as long as negative controlling people run these organizations I don't see any improvement. Unfortunately the logical calm people choose to become involved elsewhere as they can not tolerate the petty ness. I feel veteran board members should appreciate all new volunteers and show them the way not attack on every mistake they make. For goodness sake we are just volunteers and most give countless hours and really care to make a difference.
Sorry for such a long message but we have already had 7 meetings this year. and the drama just persists.
