Hi Tim!

I certainly did not mean to imply that these folks are bad or any less worthy of being involved.

I think most parent groups would love to have all the volunteers they can get and bend over backwards trying to get people involved...I know our group does. We make every effort to bring people into the fold and make them feel welcomed.

When we have people sign up at the beginning of the year to help out at certain events I force (yes force) each chairperson to call every single person on the list, not just the ones they know. This has happened so much in the past and you hear the folks say "It's a clique and I sign up and never get called". Well I vowed that will never happen on my watch! That certainly does help somewhat. As we have had some new people get involved now that they realize we are welcoming everyone to join us and we really mean it.

My point was really just that it is frustrating. We all know it is easier for people to complain then to acctually do something about it. In some of these cases the bottom line is not all of these people want to volunteer, they just want friends.

Originally posted by Serendipity:
I don't know that there is anything you can really do about it. I have heard people complain too, but by the same token many of those people don't do anything to get to know anyone.

It's hard, Serendipity, but I'd submit that this is one of the key jobs of a parent group. There are shy folks; there are folks who aren't very good at jumping into a new situation. that doesn't make them bad and, it certainly doesn't make them less great candidates for getting involved with your group.

One of the tricks is that this "style" of person is so opposite of the typical parent group leader, who often is more outgoing or at least less hesitant to just jump into things. That style difference makes it more important for typical parent group leaders to reach out to the new and the shy, lest your group get the (rightful?) reputation of only being open to one certain "type". (Clique)

What can you do? I strongly encourage all groups to have an involvement committee. One of the key jobs of the committee is to reach out personally to new and tentative potential volunteers. A personal welcome. A phone call. Sitting with new attendees at meetings. Helping new volunteers with first volunteer job (job-sharing/job-shadowing). Etc.

It's too important to just throw our hands up and say "they should try harder." We should try harder.

Tim

I don't know that there is anything you can really do about it. I have heard people complain too, but by the same token many of those people don't do anything to get to know anyone.

If you stand off to the side, never get involved, and never volunteer then it is hard to get to know people. Who's fault is that?

No one walks into their child's school experience knowing a ton of people. You get to know people and make friends when you get involved.

I do my best to say hello to everyone hoping that at least I make people on the outside feel we are a friendly enviornment.

I used to feel the same way. Now everytime I go to school and I see a friend talking with someone I DON'T know I make it a point to stop by and say "Hello" to the one I do know and introduce myself to the one I don't know. I make it quick and short and usually I remember them the next time I see them. I may have to reintroduce myself but I always say Hello again and again. Getting them to volunteer is a bit harder but this works as an ice breaker.
Hope this works.
~Gracee

This is my first post as a new PTOToday member, and I'm looking forward to this new community!

A comment we hear constantly from new parents is that they don't feel welcome in the parking lot at pick-up time or in social settings. The parking lot is the biggest problem, because people take the opportunity to talk with friends. It isn't that they mean to be rude or cliquish.

How can we encourage parents to make the effort to introduce themselves to other parents they don't know? Any ideas would be appreciated.