It's taken 40 years but I'm finally in a clique!

Check out my "Too much help, is it possible" posted on this discussion forum. If you have a open policy you will get plenty of help. So you are doing great because it worked. But like my post your wondering "what now". I'm so glad I'm not the only one. I think I can help you a little. First off call everybody, even to say sorry your on the top of the list for next time, I hope you can join us. Or how about "well we got such a great response, we tapped out this time but can you help us with . . . whatever. They can say no, but they know you didn't exclude them. We had too many sign up for Box Tops and so we grabbed the first ones to turn in volunteer coupons, called everyone. The ones we didn't use were like fine I signed up for alot things. I'll just check this off my list.

Or change things to make the volunteers work. If you think you will only get a few volunteers you think one way. Last year we had just the committee chair for Staff Appreciation. so she did her thing very well. This year we put out the coupon and got 80 people. so we are doing car washes and gift wrapping and other labor intensive things. Good Luck, you are doing great.

Oh Daddio... it is troubling isn't it? When people get annoyed the easiest thing to do is start the "clique" rumor mill...Now that you are in your 2nd year and you have done everything in your power to dispel the "exclusiveness" of your group it is still around. Been there and done that . Your group before you probably experienced the very same thing - being called a clique. This topic really gets my blood boiling because a lot of new board members always refer to the group before them as a clique. (I am not saying you, a broad generalization here). Wait till you walk a mile in "their" shoes and see what you get called behind your backs. In most cases, it is a few people who can get this rumour mill going about the "PTO clique". Some people have too much time on their hands... and only contibute by spreading destructive comments without any merit.

I would say "bravo" to you about having so many helpers want to step forward. Definitely spell it out "101 style" in your newsletter that you can not utilize everyone for every event. Try to give everyone a chance to help out at something during the year. Maybe a system of recording who has already been called up for help should be implemented so you are able to give everyone a chance. You might even want to write in your newsletter how you plan on utilizing everyone's help during the year (so you can nip the rumor mill in the butt)by explaining that you plan to have a rotation. Thank everyone often and publicly too. Keep putting out there that everyone will be given a chance to help at some point during the year.

Good luck. It is a difficult obstacle. My motto one year - to myself - no good deed goes unpunished! Here I am putting in all this time for EVERYONE'S KIDS and all I kept hearing was a lot of that kind of crap!

For 5 straight years our PTO was made up of the same board and our school PTO was viewed as a clique. Poor volunteer turnout, poor perceptions of the pto, poor communication, etc.

But, last year me and a group of others that were never involved (we did not know each other before this) all got involved and became the new board (they left to middle school). We set a goal to increase parent involvement and better communication. Last year seem to go better and we heard lots of good things. And, this year we have 10 new board members so we don't have the same group of people - 6 remain that were hear last year and it's now our second year on the board.

And, we want to improve upon what we started last year. But, we have outdone ourselves and we have so many volunteers and everyones wanting to be involved. For example, we have had two events that needed approx 25 people to help out in early Sept. We had nearly 150 sign up so many did not get called up. And, this is not going over well. People feel they are not getting called on and left out like it used to be a few years ago, comments about the board being clique and only choosing people we know to help, etc are starting to roam. Reality is that I went through the list personally and just "grabbed" names and made phone calls for one of the events - and I did not know any of them.

I want to nip this now. I want to address the clique issue straight on. I (am pres) have an article in each montly newsletter and want to focus on this in our October issue (which get's printed next week).

I am thinking to address the fact that we have so many volunteers that not everyone is going to get called on for everything they signed up for. We want to call everyone, but if we need 3 people for picture day (for example), 25 are not going to get called on just because they ask.

By defininition a clique is "A narrow circle of persons associated by common interests or for the accomplishment of a common purpose". So yes, the board is technically a clique by defination. We are a group of parents that two years ago did not even know each other but proactivley took on making a difference in their school at the same time. And, if someone is feeling left out, join in and make the narrown circle larger. The PTO is not responsible for you (parents) not getting involved.

I really want to just be straight forward about it and say that if someone really wants to do something specific and not wait to be called on, call us. Don't sit and then get made about it. Step up to the plate and join in.

If they want to call it a clique, fine. Then everyone should be part of that clique. Not just the small group that is proactively trying to make a difference.

I have said for the past two years that I want everyone involved, that I want better and open communication and that the PTO needs to be transparent with everything we do (budget, events, problems, etc). And, for the most part the straight forward honestness has worked.

But is taking this approach to the clique and them needing to step up, not just us call them too much. Has anyone taken this on straight forward? Is it to transparent for most parents to handle?