Thanks for the input and advice one and all.
I will be in this school for 4 years, 2 with my daughter and 2 with my son. I don't know about the rest of you, but one of my major reasons for getting involved in school is not just to get to know the school, but for them to know me and know my kids. In a school of 1200, it is easy for children to get lost. I refuse to let that happen, hence my determination in being involved and vocal. I am sure that my actions might have been construed as off putting (even my husband tells me that), but I think the board should be able to handle a few confrontational questions with a bit more diplomacy. I always threaten to bail but in truth, I know I won't. My kids love that I am involved in school. They are at an age that having Mom in school is still cool.

Anyway, it is good to know that others face the same issues.

Helen--
Definitely don't bail. I too (and a lot of others!) were met with the same hostility and dismissal at my son's school . As Bertha can testify I'm not exactly the easiest person to get along with all the time, but BOY, talk about NOT being welcome! It must be a Jersey thing (only kidding)! My questions probably could have been asked with more finesse or tact, but still, they were valid and it really bothered me to be ignored. It turns out the ones I questioned were lazy and less interested in getting parental involvement than getting the "glory" for the things they did do. We have a new pres, so we hope to see changes implemented.

In my school's case, I find the hostility comes from the ones with self-esteem and control issues (though the two go hand in hand). I have learned how to work around these types if at all possible. Starting a splinter group helped work out MY control issues as well! I found that going it alone pegs you as a loud mouth--getting a group of your friends to join in makes it harder to be ignored. I also started going to PTA meetings--I felt it wasn't fair for me to comment unless I put my money where my mouth was, and even though I'm still not accepted, I am a lot harder to ignore.

Good Luck!

Helen, you scared me! for a minute I thought you were talking about my town!(also in NJ)

Don't give up, there has to be one decent person on the board. Keep going to meeting & ask your questions until you get an answer you like. Get some other "new" people to go with you. You can make a difference.

If after awhile you still feel the same way pack your bags and move over by me! I only fly on my broom stick every so often. And I really love to talk so I'd be glad to answer any & all of your questions if you came to me meetings.

NJ here also! Helen don't bail out yet! Hang in there! Don't let a bunch of numpties run you off so easily! Could be asking so many questions just made them defensive ?( It certainly shouldn't) but we had an ex Prez like that.

One meeting should not determine your fate as to what you do. Besides if they really are a horrid group then they certainly will need a good thorn in their sides! I will lend you my witch hat!

5th and 6th. Will they be gone soon? Wouldn't it be nice if you could stick through it without losing your sanity, maybe with the help of that principal. Make 6th grade a great time to slowly open the doors and maybe turn things around. Are you following this clique into jr. and high School? Ugg

We have 6 grammar, 1 intermediate, 1 middle and one HS in our township. Each school acts independantly with their own HSA.
The elementary schools are more neighborhood schools while the intermediate school (5-6) brings all areas together. Our township (also in NJ) is large and the income disparity and diversity is huge.
Lots of 'keeping up with the joneses' as well as stay at home mom vs. working mom mentality. Ugh.