I must agree with the points of the other posts-you need to stop fixing things( I know it's tough to do because I have the same problem -just want it to look right). We have been putting less worry into how many show up for meetings and more effort into getting parents in classrooms and helping at events. Our classromm volunteer hours are tremendous but getting volunteers to help at events is like pulling teeth. The board has just gotten to the point of calling people directly and asking people face to face when we are at the school if they can help. A small part of the board has made a pact to follow Tim's advice from his last column and cancel any event that doesn't have the volunteers to pull it off. We are tired of wearing our regulars out at every event. We recently came up with an idea to provide low cost child care for a Saturday so parents could shop. We got 6 responses out of the note that went home with 480 kids! Yesterday we declared the event dead. Hopefully, it will make a point.

Keep emphasizing the fact that you're leaving and keep looking for people willing to take on projects-even small parts. Good luck.

Thank you for your responses, I have tried to reach the KDG parents, my youngest is in that grade. The problem that I am finding is that we have so many school of choice families in our district now from other cities that they do not "feel" like coming to meetings. I delegate constantly, anyone that shows a vague interest in volunteering I find something for them to do. And offer encouragement without "taking over". Even the teachers have said they have no support this year, parents won't help in the classroom, class parties or field trips. It is really sad.

This is the letter that was sent home as a reminder of the meeting...and still we had only one parent.

TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 18, 2003
7:00 P.M. IN ROOM 19


Dear Pardee Families,

Did your family enjoy our pot-luck dinner? Do your children enjoy their field trips? Do they enjoy our weekly popcorn sale? Do they enjoy the many PTO sponsored activities? We hope that they do, because that is the main reason we volunteer countless hours to ensure that they have all of the extras. We have found a disturbing trend in our group, we are running out of volunteers to help with these events that ALL of the kids look forward to…including your own.

We understand that families are extremely busy, because we are too. But, we have made a commitment to this school, the teachers and the children, not just our own but to yours as well to ensure that Pardee is the best place to learn and grow.

The time has come for more parents to step up and help us , we need help in every aspect of our group. Last weeks popcorn sale was a great success, thanks to Lisa XXXXX. Lisa was the only person who showed up to make sure that the kids received their popcorn. It is totally unfair to expect one person to do this by themselves when two hundred kids are buying popcorn. At our pot-luck dinner only two people were there to set up the entire event, yes everything went amazingly well for all of the families who came, but for the ones who worked so hard, it was hard to enjoy.

The meeting attendance thus far has averaged eight to ten people. In a school with close to four hundred students in fifteen class rooms, that is roughly only 2 % of the families participating.

We have three very special events coming in the near future, our Holiday Gathering, Santa Shop and our biggest event of the year, Winter Carnival. We ask that you please come to the meetings, which last an average of thirty minutes, to give us your ideas, help with planning and make the commitment to the children to ensure that we will continue to have these events.

We need your help, the future of our PTO depends on it.

As I read your post, I thought the same as the other teacher. Everything is being so well-run now that people are relaxing. I guess I never thought of your side ... that people are now not getting involved because they trust you and things are running smoothly because you are doing everything. While you've conquered the dissention in the school, the next plan is to get people involved. Step back from the day-to-day stuff and fixing other peoples mistakes. From one control freak to another, your goal now needs to be to get those volunteers - not have others in your group ignore them. People know you are looking to step down. You've now paved the way and need to ask parents individually for their help in different areas. Start with the younger parents that know no better and work your way up. Ask them to Chair something or buddy up with someone.

Yikes! Personally I'd rather see a handful at a meeting that want to work as a team or give support than a home room full of people that want to divide and conquer and make trouble.

I learned that if people see you doing everything on your own they often feel there is no reason to help. My advice is to keep things positive. Encourage people to be a part of your "Parent Group Team", stress how valuable other people's in put is, let other people try things too. Even if they don't do it exactly like you it is ok. (I do have trouble with that one). If you are talking to an interested parent bring it up in casual conversation that such and such needs to be done or that any time he/she wants to help to contact you, that you love the help. If parents feel they are going to be pressured into doing something they often stay away. We had a hard time finding a replacement prez too, eventually we found someone.

This is more of a vent than anything else, that being said. I have been a VP for one year, took a year off, and have been President for the past four years. Our meetings used to be packed with teachers and parents, largely because it was a witch hunt so to speak. They came for the controversy. The first year of being President was rough because the former board liked to try to nail us on every issue, but the room was packed.

We have seen a steady decline in our meeting attendance and I have expressed in every way that I know how, that it is hurting the group by having me stay so long. Literally no one wants to be President. I decided to write a letter to the parents explaining what is happening and that after this year is over I will be moving from the district and that we need to have prospective board members to come to at least half of the meetings to be eligible. Well last night was the worst...we had four teachers, the principal, three officers and ONE PARENT! The letter that I wrote was sent home the day before the meeting, a reminder went home yesterday and I also email reminders to parents. One of the teachers point blank said, everything runs so smoothly now, everyone is so happy that you are still president that they can be lax on attendance because we all know you make things happen. I realized in that moment that I have seriously hurt this group. I am like the parent who does everything for their child to the point that the child does not know how to do for themselves. I spent yesterday re-doing the treasurer's report because it was filled with typo errors, I had to do the meeting minutes because the secretary forgot about the meeting and had to work and didn't bother to do them earlier. The treasurer has showed up late to all three meetings this year. I work my butt off promoting this group, getting volunteers and when people sign up for things like the popcorn sale, the coordinator does not call them and complains when she has to do it by herself.

Sorry this is so long, but I really think if I can bring myself to be obnoxious and controversial that maybe I can spark some interest. I hate to move and leave the PTO in a mess when I have worked so hard to make things run smoothly....