Mezymom said it all in a nutshell. No one can do it all by themself. People would understand better if they were part of it. Then everyone shares the burden and reaps the rewards. Good Luck!

VenzMama has some great ideas. MyKidsMom is on target too (don't 'crack a soda'... pop the top on a beer...lol...). Don't forget to get that hug! However, before you march into the principals office... be aware that not all schools let parent groups use their copiers or paper or other goods. Those items cost money. It isn't about being lazy (please don't go in there with those words on your lips). Our parent group pays for its own paper (pens, pencils, paperclips, envelopes, etc.). Two years ago, the prez dropped of what she wanted copied and it got done when it got done. It got sent out when it got sent out. Think about it for a minute. The office staff has its own jobs and tasks. They get behind just like everyone else in this world. You give them another job to do on top of what-ever-else is going on. When they do get it copied, then it has to be distributed to the teachers, with enough copies for each student. Then, the teachers, who have their various jobs and tasks (like teaching our children, grading papers, putting together lesson plans, attending PTO meetings, etc.), have to find time to distribute them to each student. Between the office and the teachers, it could take as long as a week or 10 days for them to do what isn't necessarily their job to begin with. You may need to take your stuff to a copy place and pay for the service. If this is the case, it should be budgeted under Administrative Costs. Remember, we are there to help them, not the other way around. Last year, I learned to run the risograph and did the work myself. I also did copying for the office and answered phones when they were swamped.

As for running the volunteer store, which I am assuming is like a student store, consider letting the Student Council have that to run, or even the librarian (who does the AR program at our school). Or do this: Schedule other parents to work the store. If someone doesn't show up, close it for the day. It won't take too many days of being closed before people get the idea. Use this theory for scheduling other things, like the baking you needed done for your carnival, the doorprizes, setting up games, etc. Last year, I covered everyone and everything too. It is too stressful, and stress can kill you. So... STOP! Send home a letter saying what can be accomplished with the help of others. Explain that if other people don't step up to the bat and take a swing, that these things won't be accomplished.

As for what the principal did... It sounds like it was a bad day on her calendar. Remember, as stressed as you were over the carnival, she was probably that stressed over planning her daughter's wedding. Cut her some slack, tell her how you feel. In the future, make sure that she is aware (and part decision maker) of what you are planning, when and where you are planning, etc. It might also be that she was showing you 'who is the real boss' after you went and complained to the district office about the teacher shortage. And even if she was using the school account that day at Kmart, it really isn't your issue. You have to pick your battles better, sticking to ones that you can actually do something about. Teacher shortages can be addressed at a school Site Council meeting. Ask them to consider making a recommendation for using school budget monies from the district, the state and the goverment, to hire more teachers.

Tell the people who started giving things away that they over stepped their boundries, and ask them what rules, bylaws and/or safeguards could have been used prior to the carnival, so as to make sure it doesn't happen again. I myself, would have told them off...lol... but that's me...lol...


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I just don't understand why they keep getting in my business if you chose me to be the president then let me be the president and do the things I want to do.
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Lastly, a word of advise about being president: Just because you are president, that doesn't mean that everything goes your way. You are going to have more problems if you continue to think this way. You need to figure out how to change some of the 73 "I's -- Me's -- My's --" in your posts to include more "We's" and "Ours" . You represent an entire group of people, namely the parents, guardians, teachers and volunteers in your school, not to mention the children who are the reason we all do this.

Kick back, take a deep breath, have a drink and/or take a long, hot bubble bath. Hug your kids. Spend some quality time with your hubby. It sounds like your heart is in the right place, so quit stressing and quit trying to do it all.

You are like the Conductor of an orchestra. You cannot play all the instruments during a concert. Everyone looks to you for timing, for leadership, for approval. If they are having a problem, they come to you for advice and this is where and where you help them. Put the notes on their papers, and let them play. Conduct them, keep them in tune, let them know you could do it, but that you would rather let them shine. Then help them to shine, and let them help you to shine. In the end, the children will benefit... and so will you.

Good Luck and Hang In There!

[ 11-04-2002: Message edited by: TheMetzyMom ]</p>

Thanks for your suggestions. I have already decided to go in to talk to the principal tomorrow morning. I took this job on without anything from the past, I had nothing it's like the blind leading the blind. I thought about quiting but my husband and sister said that I shouldn't because I have done so good thus far, last years PTO/SIC only cleared $258 something on the fall festival and my profit went over $2088 which I got an autographed football to raffle three weeks before the festival. I just don't understand why they keep getting in my business if you chose me to be the president then let me be the president and do the things I want to do. Even someone said the other day Buffy your running behind schedual with the coke sale, last year they had a coke sale and I told her why didn't they tell me I'm getting old I can't remember everything.I also wanted to do a silent auction/movie night and the principal said no she says no to everything I suggest, I truely don't understand this women. I gave her a check from one of our banks in town and she has lost it just like my first autographed football got gone from this school. I have to go tomorrow and check to see if the check has cleared the bank if not they are cutting me another one. I went around trying to get help starting an AR store at our school to buy supplies so PTO wouldn't have to buy everything because it's a store where the kids read books and take test to earn points then in which they turn in to the store for prizes.This has been the only idea she has liked thus far.I truely get frustrated because this school is fourty years old and doesn't even have a school sign I take long roll of paper and make signs and laminate them to keep the parents informed of upcoming things like meetings and such. I just told my husband the more I'm at this school the more I dislike it my 6 year old has a class of 38 kids and my 7 year old daughter has 32 in 2nd grade class I have spoke with the pric. and she says she's looking for some teachers this is been going on to long, so I called our distict office where the super. told me its her fault because when he gave money to the other school to higher a teacher they didn't have any trouble. Just like the other day the kind. teacher asked to purchase a case of crayons and the princ. said no not til after the first of the year because of budget but then I saw her at K-Mart using the school account to buy lights for a bulitin board and some other things so the 5K teacher asked PTO to purchase them and we did this pric.I've know for 8 years and never had the problems I'm having now I don't know why she doesn't just do everything she knows everything this year anyway. Just frustrated.......Hope tomorrow will be a little better.
I just feel like someone is wanting me to fall all the teachers tell me that this has been the best year ever at our school the money is really getting raised.
Well I best go my kids need mommy thanks for ya'lls suggestions!!

Buffy- I may have not done a carnival but I was President last year while pregnant with my fifth baby (2 girls and 3 boys- 11, 6,4,2, 6mo)and if you can believe it the VP stopped by the hospitsl to see the baby and brought me PTO stuff to finish along with the books to balance! (our treasurer....who am I kidding, I never had one last year! and my secretary was going through a ugly divorce and my VP needed to up her Prozac dose!!)
Remember when you got married and the day after? I think I cried forever because it was over, all that planning etc. was over. Make yourself a cup of tea or coffee or crack open (that's how my 4 year old asks) a soda, sit down and relax. Crap like this happens and all you can do now is learn from it. Right now I'm sure you want to go in there and give her a piece of your mind but as a new Mom of 5 I don't have too much of my mind to spare to be giving it out and hopfully you are in better sorts than me but in the long run it's not worth it. That's what we are here for!! (we all owe Tim!) venzamom has some awsome points but I'm more worried about you!
Go do something fun or I hope you have and are reading this after having a great time with your little ones and that wonderful husband of yours!! It's really amazing how much medicine iis in a child's hug...no matter their age!
Smile [img]smile.gif[/img] it's over! now on to the next project.......

First of all, take a deep breath, count to 10 and start to calm down. After a big event like a carnival, it's inevitable to have a melt down. And may I say it sounds like your is well-deserved. I just finished chairing our annual carnival last weekend (I'm also a first time PTO president, mother of 3, too busy most of the time) so I know what you are experiencing. You can't change the past, so focus on fixing things for next year...I have made a folder with all the carnival information in it including things I would change next year. A carnivial is a MAJOR event, there should be at least two people to chair this PLUS separate committees for food, doorprizes, games and money/tickets. These individual committees take care of their own needs, but are closely supervised by the chairpeople. You can't and shouldn't do everything yourself. Make sure everyone knows their responsibilities, and this in your case includes the principal and the school staff. Have a time-line in place...the flyers go out on X date, the food is bought by X date, etc... Also have a schedule for the carnival itself. Setup is at X time, the various doorprizes are given out at X time, cleanup is at X time, etc. Have a cleanup plan in place...what do you do with the leftovers? We gave our perishables to the maintenance crew (you could give them to a homeless shelter maybe). All of our non-perishables (pop, ice cream, chips) were purchased at cost by our cantina. If you have guidelines in place it will harder for people to do their own thing and mess up the event. Now for your principal. After you have calmed down, go talk to her about what happened and how you feel she overstepped her bounds. Don't accuse, give examples and explain why it causes problems..."You did the doorprizes all at once, whereas we could have made more money by building up the excitement of winning if we had staggered them." Maybe your principal didn't feel like she had a definite role at your carnival so she made her own. Focus more on the fact that the carnival was successful and that only you probably know the behind-the-scenes problems. Don't give up, use this as a learning point for the future. And if nothing else, I could use a co-chair next year! :cool:

We had our Annual Fall Festival yesterday 11-2-02 and our festival was to run from 10:00-2:00. My complaint is alot of things two weeks ago I made up a flyer and it didn't go home to remind the families of the festival til Friday 11-1-02,because someone is to lazy to copy the flyers. We the PTO/SIC aren't allowed to use the copier machine not sure why. Then on Saturday the principal showed up late to open the school.Then every where I wanted to put a game wasn't good enough and had to change my game plan layout then some of the games she had us change the way we played them. I had went out and collected about $600 dollars worth of door-prizes and other faffle drawing stuff. She had to leave about 1 hour into the festival to go look at weeding stuff for her daughters wedding in Dec. and I was doing fine til she got back I was doing my door-prizes and raffle drawings about every 45 min. to give the late comers a chance to register when she returned she took over and drew for everything at once. Which made me really made because the big ticket raffle stuff we only made about $40 on at $1.00 a ticket. Then at 12:45 she had the game operators start pulling their games down I talked her into leaving them up til 1:30 and I still had families wanting to buy more tickets at 1:45 to play games. Then past PTO/SIC persons went into the kitchen to help clean up and started giving hotdogs away and drinks instead of asking me what I wanted to do with the stuff, I am a first time PTO/SIC President and this isn't worth all the stress that I have been having since I took this over, And my treasure wasn't even there to help get the stuff together no one did anything I did all the shopping and baking cookies and cakes getting everything together including games and lining up help and all and the treasure showed up at 12:30 to count the money and left didn't even offer to stay and help clean up my thing is I am a parent of 5 kids 22,15,7,6,4 and a husband that need me and since the school year has started I feel that I not giving them the time I once did. I am a stay at home mother and since school started I am at the school working the Accelerator testing and the store(VOLUNT.) the whole day everyday except on Wed. unless they call me and need more kids tested. I feel the stress building and don't know what to do nothing I do I fell isn't good enough and someone always steps in to tell me how to do it and takes it over. PLEASE HELP ME BEFORE I BLOW!!