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Handling Anonymous Criticism

20 years 3 months ago #99090 by Michelle B
No matter how much you want to, you are never going to please everyone. It just isn't possible. Sure, you are going to get criticism. If you do it their way, they will be happy but another one comes along and they don't like that you changed things... and round and round it goes. Most of the time, it will be anonymous. It is probably better that way because then you can evaluate the concern and address it but not become uncomfortable with that other person. Pals situation was a smear campaign but your situation was just a concern. Perhaps knowing the situation has been tense that this parent chose to go to a non-partisan party (not PTA not your group) in order to make certain that it was presented fairly and not swayed one way or the other. I've been in this same situation with one unit (sure, I knew which one because I've gotten praise from the rest but I won't get into it) I was tempted to take it personally but rather, explained my position and what steps I took, I took the concern, acted a bit more carefully on future things, but I HAD to let it go. 30 units, one complaint (a small one to me but apparently big enough to them) an 8.41% disapproval rating. Not bad really!
20 years 3 months ago #99089 by kmamom
That must have been the WORST! Even when you know what's being said isn't true, it's still unnerving. The detractors in our school (anti my group at least) have been able to remain anonymous, which leads me to believe they're somewhere higher in the realm of things. Only because if it had been one of the "regular" kooks, the principal would have told me not worry about it. We've had our problems with the current PTA officers, and I'm sure some of their followers (including a few teachers) may have had something to do with this.

Oh well, c'est le vie!
20 years 3 months ago #99088 by pals
kma the only way I found out who it was that weeks later the person used the same nickname/phases that were in a couple of writeups about me and my group. A couple of people counter asking if it was him and the person said"yes are you jealous or evnvious" THe person is a well known complainer in our city but thsi time it was our group/me that was put in the hot seat. yes the children of this person goes to our school. Funny thing is in one of the post that was made about me there was a few personal statements that this person amde about themselves and I had figured it out that way. Once it was basically admitted then I ahd to bitemy tongue, infact my principal asked me if I wanted to respond face to face. I said it's not worth the time. I get more satisfaction knowing that we "won" and that this person knows that any attack on me is an attack on every person at the school. My husband being a school board member just added to it. This person actually said that I was kissing the school's $@$ and that I was being used so bad but am too stupid to know it. It was a very hard time, I wanted to quit but the support around me kept my head up. I know you take it to heart and it's hard not to, especially when the complainers don't volunteer. My advice is just BREATH ALOT!!Talk to your supporters and know it will adventually go away. This forum is a great place to let stuff out ...I also tried very hard not to let others see how angry I was...yes I cried and had close doors conferences with my principal . I just feel that i didnt want others to get as upset as i did. Trying to keep thinsg positive you can say....

"When you stop learning you stop growing."
20 years 3 months ago #99087 by kmamom
Thanks for the input! I would LOVE to know who the complainer(s) is(are)! If they had been personal attacks I would have taken it much harder--especially if they were public! pals--how did you find out who your person was? I cannot imagine how awful that must have been for you! You use the same technique I use with people I can't stand--kill 'em with kindness!
20 years 3 months ago #99086 by pals
i have to respond to this one...a few months ago someone was trashing my name and the PTO"S name on a local trash web site. YOu can say anything you want about anyone and not sign your name. This whole thing got really ugly to almost legal action, it was slander to the 110% mark. After almost three weeks my supporters turned the table and asked the person what they do to volunteer. The person stopped but then it came out almost a month later who had done it....my reaction was total anger but you know what i do? whenever i see the person I make a habit of saying hi and asking about how he is doing. ask if they are coming to our next event...i can sense by the face that it kills him that i am doing this....but you know what I have decided that I would still hold my head up.It basically came back and bit him that the PTO and myself have alot more supporters than he does....so my advice even if you know who puts you down, it's not worth the effort it's their issue not yours....been there

"When you stop learning you stop growing."
20 years 3 months ago #99085 by IMaPTOmom
Replied by IMaPTOmom on topic RE: Handling Anonymous Criticism
If someone says something just say "Oh, I am sorry did I over look you at the meeting we were discussing it at?" or "My VP, et al, didn't tell me you called them with comments from the x number of letters we sent out on that."


I absolutely love this comment...I will definately be using it [img]tongue.gif[/img]
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