my kids mom....cover your ears....AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! there...i feel better [img]smile.gif[/img] i am in an awful position. we are a school owned by a politically connected corporation. they're great schools but the corp is afraid of parents and will/has shut down pto's for a variety of reasons. (they do it mostly by saying no thank you to anything offered, not leting the meetings be held on school property, not allowing info to go home). they are testing the waters of parental involvement slowly but surely. and she's an employee of the corp who can/has already put us in danger of being closed. i have submitted our bylaws for approval by the corp(through her by the way so she may have had her way with them) and haven't gotten them back yet....so we have no checks and balances...if push comes to shove she'll get the backing not the parents if i bring the issue to her employer. i'm not an overly emotional person so i wouldn't yell or say mean things, but i would get right to the point. "that was an unfair thing to do...we feel used...and i have people coming to me really mad about this". not to mention there are other fundraisers better suited to our populations needs and desires. i certainly can't defend her but i need to diffuse this powder keg now.

you know....your suggestion about the schools policies being adhered to is prety brilliant. that way i'm not the heavy...hhhmmmmmm....i could approach it with her and the principal from the standpoint of i just want to make sure that this didn't go against school policy because i wouldn't want it to reflect badly on the advisor or the pto and maybe mention that i have been put in the position of explaining her actions and maybe she could let me know what to tell parents and teachers when they bring it up to me. our principal won't tolerate any infraction of the policies that could endanger our charter being renewed next year so i'm quite confidant that either the principal or the advisor would recommend the commission being donated and future adherence of the policy. i would be shocked if the school didn't have a policy against it!

wow.....i feel sane again....empowerment is a beautiful thing! another cup of coffee and everything will be fine...

First COMB OVER your by-laws AND the school's policies concerning fundraising/profits/benificiaries ANYTHING that pertains to your group granted you have time or you may have to by some time and reschedual as you need info to bad your concerns!. NEXT I would even want the school districts take on this matter as the school may say "We follow the district's policy". What am I doing? I would want to see you sit down with her with a Super soaker water gun than a little hand held that will only make her damp and more mad.
For you I have said this before, buy a pack of gum for yourself [img]smile.gif[/img] now, think about how you would handle this if the neighbor kid broke your window, we WANT to yell at the little "angel" but we clamly talk to them and their parents. You must reach DEEP in your gut and find the strength to let this gal know she can not morally keep or accept a commission from the children's programs we are raising this money for. "as you see hear in our bylaws/school policy/or even the district does not allow the chair or advisor to profit from a fundraiser. A t-shirt, bag, other small trinket item I would see as no big deal BUT cash is cause for questions is this person really to answer if twenty parents find out and question her actions.
If you want her out, it helps to have a supporting group of parents behind you on this one. A letter from all the parents, signed by them too, asking for her to resign is a sfe way to go but make sure you have someone to take her spot that night.
Just keep this to heart, you go in with a sword and flaming torches you will not get anywhere with her. I will say this again, find it in your gut to stay calm and focused, the minute she becomes "mean" YOU STAND UP AND LEAVE THE ROOM! The minute you start to yell back or go to her level you have just lost to her. You are better than that and should not have to tolerate being yelled at. Have your questions in front of you on paper, what kind of commission are you recieving? are you going to donate this to the group or add it to the net profit of the sales? Do not let your self get personnal! (Well MY family could use the cash too but I wouldn't do that! ---NO NO NO!! your going to think it BUT DON"T SAY IT!!)

it is going to be okay....in the meantime stay strong.

i am at my wits end! our advisor informs the executive committee that "we" are having a fundraiser and the info is on it's way home with the kids. she plans on using the money for recreational activities. and i have heard through the grapevine that she is getting a pretty nice commission on the sales! i am meeting with her on monday to discuss this. my problem is i'm not much of a diplomat. i need words.
she's always telling people what they can and can't and should and shouldn't do. the pto could very easily be dissolved by our owner should any great conflict occur so i don't need her having a defensive reaction and painting a gloomy picture of us to the coorporate office. she's the wrong person to be the advisor and i need to do something about it or the few parents we have are going to quit. how do we change our advisor peacefully??????????????????how do i encourage her to not ever do this again and disclose any profit she gets????????????????

help