Hey, I've got two like her! One of the important things we all have to be is a "teamplayer". Unfortunately, there are some out there who do not play well with others, and will spew anything out of their mouths to try to bring an organization down. Usually in the end, people get the gist of what these people are. Especially when the only things they say are negative and they bring nothing positive to the table, so to speak. The two people we have trouble with are pretty new to the school - their child (ren) only being in 2nd and 1st grades. We have been doing some things for years and have had no problems until they came along. Make no mistake, we want people to come along with ideas that are creative and questions when something is not understood. As long as it is presented in a real sincere way and not as an assault or ambush, which to me is hostile. We are all in it for the kids. We also know the uncounted and unseen man hours we put it in to make everything go smoothly. When this type of person comes forward it certainly can make you think: "what was I thinking?" Take a day or two to stew and then move on......My two cents
I've got one just like her. We've just gotten to the point where we just don't include her in organizing anything and our principal backs us up. She's been a thorn - if you know what I mean. As long as she's not included, it's less of a hassle for us and everyone else enjoys themselves.
I too have one of those! This person is so sneaky and manipulative and convincing that many parents believe what she is saying! For three years, every event she is involved in is a problem, and no, it is never, ever, her fault. You would think that maybe people like this would eventually realize that maybe the problem is them! What you have to keep in mind is what is best for the organization as a whole. Being on the Board is not about a popularity contest - it is about doing what is right for the school, the children, and the organization. While this type of person will expend their energy trying to justify their inappropriate behavior, maintain your composure, follow the rules, and don't take it personally. They are not worth your time, effort, or concern as long as you know yourself that you are doing the right thing for all concerned. The bottom line is that PTO is about supporting the school and the children. You may also want to remind the General Membership that regardless of your position, we all have only one vote, and decisions should be made as a group. Group input is a good thing and prevents anyone from feeling like their ideas are not being considered. Good Luck!
I have found a solution and wanted to share it with everyone in case they too have this dilemma. After talking to everyone on our board of directors, I found someone willing to work with this parent as a "go between." We know that if she chairs a fundraiser she will mow people down, but if we don't let her she will give our parents group a bad name.
The go between person will be there to keep the difficult parent under control. It turns out that they are neighbors and already have had to keep a friendship although somewhat stranied at times.
Thanks for all the advice....
[img]smile.gif[/img]
Once upon a time...sorry just kidding, I feel into a event with a mom just like "her". I was warned (you know how friends warn friends) and was so glad for the heads up as she took over the event etc. My gal is also a terrific volunteer but has also made huge mistakes (I really shouldn't volunteer so much because I have "all those" little ones...that was when I only has three children, mom of five now)
She is still at the school and will be for a couple more years and unfortunatly she has also scared away MANY parents that just couldn't handle her ways or views about the school.
My question and suggestion, is it possible to present all the fundraisers proposed, publish them in the next newsletter or send home a notice telling the others your ideas. Make it a special notice to the "Mom" that you will vote on all the fundrasiers on this day, it would be of your best interest to attend. If this can't would then you have to do the only thing you can. Present all the ideas at the next meeting with absolutly no mention of who's ideas are who's, discuss, vote and make sure you have the vote recorded on paper and, shoot, tape it too if everyone is okay with it.
KJ- I have learned there seems to be one bad apple a year that comes through and you learn from them, let them make a fool of themselves (I love it when rumors come back to them), and know in your heart what you are there for....mine are watching cartoons, also, they see how you handle these things, keep a cool head or keep it in till you can go for a walk or to the gym to let it out (my oldest HATES the gal I told you about because she heard everything that she has done, thin walls in our former apartment).
I hope I have helped shead some light on this and shown you that you are NOT ALONE!! [img]smile.gif[/img]
I have a parent who has been down right rude to us and I don't know what to do with her. Here is a quick senerio...
We are a new school that is made up of parts of other schools, plus many new residents to a newly built subdivision. Our parents group was formed from a core group of strangers. This group has done a phenominal job!! We planned what our fundraisers would be from the beginning, and we have stuck with those decisions.
In comes the problem. She is set on doing a fundraiser, but we (the board of directors) decline to do it this year, but we really want to do it next year. Well, she hit the roof throwing out one insult after another. She has never been to a meeting, not has she participated in any events that we have done.
This month is our "Fun-d-Raising" meeting where we make the decisions for next year. She is unable to attend, but would like to have her fundraiser presented. Here is the dilemma I need help with. She is reputed to have excellent skills on getting a job done, I won't have to worry about the project happening. What I do have to worry about is her personality. She is an excellent volunteer, but she runs people over in the process.
So, you may say, don't let her chair an event. This is the flip side...if she doesn't chair something, she will spred rumors that the the parent's group is not a welcome place to volunteer. If we let her chair, she discourages people, if we don't she runs a rumor mill.
