This post could be about me! I was "pushed" into being the president of our small PTO 3 years ago when my daughter was only in PK-4. I had already accepted other volunteer positions that I am very passionate about, but no one else would even consider being president. In my 3 years, I have tried my best to balance all of my commitments, but like most people I do struggle at times. I am very fortunate to have a wonderful support system through the school and through the parents that are involved. However, our Executive board has seen 3 treasurers, 2 secretaries and 2 VP's during this time. Learning everything myself and trying to get new board members up to speed has consumed a lot of my time, as it should. There are many times that I find myself feeling like I'm not doing as much as I should, even though I'm doing all that I can. I have seen people come in with awesome ideas and I try to always open the doors for them to get what they need to make their event happen. But, I'm not the type of person that is going to try to change big issues people have in the school. Mostly because I don't feel the PTO is the first place to start. If members of the board came to me and asked me to resign, I would probably have my feelings hurt (hard not to), but I would remind myself it is not personal and everything I do is for the better of the kids. If there is someone that is ready to take on the challenge and wants to be the president, they should go talk to them and discuss what it is the president actually does and has to deal with. I know that I don't always share the burden of this role even with the rest of the board, because many times it is not appropriate too.
I hope that you have discussed your desicion to move on without your president and made it clear to her that means electing someone else at a meeting she is running. Best of luck to you and your school.
I learned a valuable lesson from a church I joined that had just gone through a very heart-wrenching, LONG discussed decision to move several miles from its current position. Naturally, there was much dissension over this choice.
They took what I'm told is the "Quaker approach". All were welcome to weigh in and contribute to the decision. But once the decision was made, that was it. Regardless of personal feelings, everyone agreed to support THAT decision and do whatever possible to make the future a success. I came in right after the church had moved and was very surprised at how hard even those very opposed were working make it successful.
When I was pres, I tried to use that method as much as possible. Whether it's an election, a vote, a program, whatever - this is where we are NOW. No point moaning and groaning about what might have/should have happened. What do we do NOW to move forward in the best possible way?
Try expressing this view to the group before a difficult decision. Remind them these are simply operating/business decisions. It sometimes helps with perspective and lays the groundwork that holding grudges and bemoaning the outcome won't be tolerated. Focus on the kids and the school.
I tried to live that message as well. I remember one time I was one of the few dissenting votes on supporting a program that benefited only a few students, several of whose parents were on the board. I felt it was a conflict of interest. My position lost the vote, but I did my best to see the idea was carried out as voted. I wasn't there to ensure MY agenda but the success of the PTO as the majority saw fit.
Sounds like there will be some hard feelings no matter what. But you can continue to try to soften the blow. Maybe focus on:
Her strengths - what is she good/great at? Maybe volunteer recruitment or outreach? Can you make a place for her in a specific area that would be a good fit? Don't lie, but don't harp on the fact she wasn't a great pres. "Your strengths are XYZ. We want and need you to continue to contribute to this organization. However for our president, we want someone whose strengths are more about the business of running a PTO."
Time to give someone else a turn - how long has she been president? Especially if it's been more than 1 year, it's time to rotate the office - get in some new blood, new ideas.
Reality Check - People can get very passionate about the PTO and lose sight of the bigger picture. As important as this function is, sometimes we all need a reality check (often best served with dose of humor). It's a "parent group", not the United Nations. No matter what (usually) our kids will keep going to this school and we'll keep supporting school activities. All of us simply want to help with that and enjoy these years with our children while they are still small. Things change. So what? Be flexible. Jump on board, let's move forward. Let's ENJOY it.
Our group's president has a big heart for our school and the kids here. However, her leadership skills are poor. She has great ideas but cannot implement them well and gets offended easily when the rest of us offer help or suggestions. Her lack of organization and care free attitude has quickly eroded our group's reputation among faculty and other parents. Coming into the last quarter f the school year, the rest of us have essentially made plans to move on without her as president next year. My concern is that she will be so offended she will not want to be involved at all in the future. At least 3 of us have tried talking with her privately but she doesn5 seem to see any problem with the way she runs things. I believe this spring will mark the first time our group has ever had a contested race for any office. Thoughts? Suggestions?
