I feel the same as BJNKC-- in the beginning of the year as a new President, I was nervous--- I knew that being the President meant when something went wrong, even if I had nothing to do with it-- it was on my shoulders--- and a lot went wrong-- but after a few months of school and a lot of time in the principals office, I am standing stall and strong and have come to realize that not everything is PTO related and I have to weigh each event that is talked about in my head and think before I say anything...
Listening and re-stating the persons complaint always clarifies the problem-- maybe there was a misunderstanding--- or the way I heard what the complaintant was saying was not what she really meant.
We get all sorts of silly calls as well. We had one person mad that her check had not cleared yet. Like we had control over the banks processing?? I'm sorry is always a good rule of thumb, and listening rather then talking helps neutralize their anger. A lot of times they just need to vent, and forget that we are only parents like they are. The start of the year was the hardest for me,.. now that I have my bearings I feel like the whole group is on the right track. We are really fortunate that we have a united front, so all of the "complainers" don't really get to us as much. Good luck to you all! Remember, YOU are doing a great job!
Sometimes, if the issue is really minor, simply waiting a day or two to respond (if at all) allows the situation to resolve on its own. No way am I recommending this if delaying or not responding would cause a deadline to be missed or would simply escalate the person's emotions. Slow or no response works if the volunteer is a known complainer or is complaining about something that is truly inconsequential.
For example, our school held a fundraiser and enlisted the help of a particular group of parent volunteers for a small portion of it. The time shifts to help were emailed to the group. Naturally, the first to respond had the most time slot options to choose from. One parent didn't open her email for a few days. When she finally did respond, she was dissatisfied with the time slots that remained and blew up about it.
I chose not to respond at all to this one because she was already well aware that most, if not all preparation for the event was done by email. She had a history of being a step or two behind anyway simply because she doesn't open her emails very promptly. And, there were other ways she could help if she chose to that didn't involve working a specific time slot on that day (prep work, which she was aware of but didn't volunteer for).
I allowed this issue to simply die a natural death by not responding. It simply wasn't worth acknowledging.
When a parent volunteer is upset. Listen to everything. If the parent volunteer is just one of those chatter, gossip voices that are critical on everything this is what I do.... I always suggest for every problem there is a solution. You can choose to be part of the problem or you can be productive and be part of the solution. Together we can work on making things better in future events/programs/meetings by learning from our past mistakes. We are all human and we are all on the same salary. Big fat $0. I agree with the other post..never, ever lose your cool and remove the emotion. Being the leader clearly puts a target on your back but don't take it personally. The job comes with pros and cons. This is one of the cons. You have the ability to turn a negative situation into a positive. It's not about the problem or issue at hand it is all in how you react to that problem/issue.
I had a situation where a parent volunteer was upset that we moved the place where she would hang printed out birthday lists literally 2 feet over to the other display case. When she first called me upset and outraged, I thought she was joking. If I were just a parent and not in a leadership position I probably would have told her to get a grip. But I am in a leadership position and whether this was valid or invalid, I did just what was suggested. I listened to her carefully, I apologized for being inconsiderate and not notifying her and moved on. To date, she still holds a grudge but I felt the apology neutralized the situation.
