You know--my first year as president there was a person that raised flags over everything and constantly questioned things etc. I spoke with my friend about it and she was the first one to say "ignore her". It seemed so obvious when she said it but it was so tough to do. She only had power if I paid attention to her and what she said and allowed that to influence my decisions. We had a process to make things happen at the school and "rules" on how to do it and yet I allowed myself to be distracted by her complaints.
It took a bit but everytime she raised something that was more annoying than anything else I just started to ignore it. If she got something on the agenda or went to the principal about something...I'd listen to the complaint and if worthy (for instance in our adult PTO newsletter I used the word "beer" and she complained to the principal), I'd make sure I'd correct it. I think in that instance I sent her an email "thanking" her for bringing to my attention that the word might have been seen as inappropriate by some of our parents in a PTO newsletter...and frankly have been more aware of my rantings in my column.
So not empowering folks does a world of good and once you turn their volume down or put their comments in perspective; it's a whole lot easier to breathe.

d

Oh and I forgot to thank you d for the adoptaclassroom suggestion.

Shawn & D - I owe you both something huge. (It's in the mail. LOL!!!)

Thanks to both of you for what you posted. Shawn you asked a funny question about this person. Something that I left off is that this person is a law student and the majority now feels as though this is a thesis or project for graduation. Mainly because thid parent hasn't ever piped up before now. They have not ever cared before now to have to purchase the supplies, never bothered to attend a PTO meeting to vote or voice their opinion.

d- yes, there was a vote last year to spend approx $10k in playground equipment for a NEW playground area (now we have one that is more accessible to the one side of the school and they don't have to walk forever to get to a playground). Like I stated above, this parent didn't have the time or the care to attend a PTO meeting.

These people are the ones who totally tee me off. I have had more people start little fires and I have to be the one who runs and puts them out with my famous words..."Oh yes, we voted on that on (whatever date) at the PTO meeting. I don't recall seeing you there. I wish we had more parents who wanted to be more involoved in the school and help the PTO make the decisions that we make. Hopefully we will see you at the next one, it's on (whatever date)."

Just like I told the superintendant....I don't honestly care how you are spending your money, I have to worry about how we spend our (PTO) money. You know, I saw the books for the board, they want me to be a supporter of them - and I am - I know that the budget has been spent in the appropriate manners. This is the close of the first month of school. The board can't spend all of the money in one month. AGH!!!!!!!! I do know that they money that was in the budget has a plan for it, I have viewed the records of what has been spent to date. I am OK with what the board has done. I don't care what the school board has done. I want to know what the PTO has paid for and what we are planning to spend our money on....the big concerns you know?

Oh, here's a funny one. This person is now our second grade parent rep. Please pray for me. You both made very great points and my wheels are turning. I am going to start by going over the rules of a PTO meeting and then we will move on to approving the new bylaws.....and they are a lawyer...there will be no tabling the topic. They will be approved during this next meeting.

I hope this person just goes away. I hope they settle down. I am not in the mood for another person on the PTO to be a trouble maker, we've been there, done it, and believe me I BOUGHT THE T-SHIRT.

Thanks for both of you again. I knew I could count on BOTH of you. Yes Shawn-I knew you would be there for me too!!!

Hey Chickie--how's life. There's a couple of things that are relevant. If there was a vote for the playground equipment as the goal then her balking at the expenditure of the money is irrelavent. That is what the group voted and you cannot go back and change it because someone forgot their spiral. Now another way to approach this is to see if she is interested in becoming your Adopt a classroom chair (adoptaclassroom.com) which will allow her to motivate the parent base to contribute directly to their teacher's classroom and thus their child's education. That should keep her busy and the amount of money you can generate through this for the classroom is staggering (we raised 26k in 2 years that teachers spent directly on "stuff" for their rooms).
As to the issues with the school board...who cares what she thinks should be done. It is a school board issue and she needs to go directly to them. Do your bylaws have any restriction as to the type of business you entertain. I know to be 501c3 you have to be limited in your promotion of "political" positions. I would probably tell her what she can do (or let the principal do that) to promote her position in terms of speaking at the next school board meeting but make sure she knows that the PTO is not the organization to pull into the issue (if it is against your charter). I am not sure what Robert's Rules says about the addition of issues to an agenda that are not appopriate for the given venue...you may have her pop up during "new business" and say she wants to address something; so if you see her in that meeting at the start head to Roberts Rules and indicate the speaking limit for presentations (3 minutes I think) and after she's had her three minutes you can vote as to whether the group believes this to be an issue the PTO ought to pursue (with the arguement being that you represent all members and don't believe that involvement with an issue like this will benefit your mission OR perhaps others will think this is something you want to have a voice in). Have ready with you the time/location of the next school board meeting where it IS apporpriate to voice concerns and invite all the parents interested to attend by getting on the agenda at that meeting.
Mostly I think you have to redirect the energies and show her how she can impact since you're not going to be able to stop them. But let her make the move.

typed every word--that was odd and a waste of time...since you can always say "I misspoke"....
d

The Wisdom of Shawnshuefus


The cause(s): What makes this knucklehead tick?

• Does the parent understand the "who, what, and why" of the question(s) - policies at hand? (The $$ per student and what the PTO is for)
• Are there complicated or new processes or policies about which the parent is unfamiliar? (Does he just need a PTO RRO 101 class)
• Could it be the parent is not really interested in any particular idea other than their own? (Is he just a Steinbrenner?)

Solve the Problem: How do you make said knucklehead comprehend

• Begin with a meeting with the parent and others where facts are presented to demonstrate the problem. (Give PTO rules, etc)
• Listen to the parent's view of the situation. Ask the person to listen to your view and look at the "evidence." (the big challenge)
• Work to establish agreement about the problem (or perceived problem) and its causes.
• List expectations for changes (also in his behavior).

Optional

• Work together to develop an action plan.
• Set a timetable for progress and date for next meeting to check on the progress.

Keep formal records of meetings and copies of evidence/facts.

I'd be ticked this guy lied (about being on agenda) (AND is a PTO mtg the place for a gripe about the school board?? No Lobbying ) but try to get as much info and witnesses etc AND explain that procedures are to be followed, how they are changed, and that majority rules (in most cases)

Hope it helps, good luck

I need some major advice and I know this is the best place to get some!!

I was called into the "Principal's Office" with the Principal and the Superintendant the day of our open house to learn that there is a parent who had told them that they were on my agenda for the open house. I assured them that this parent was not on my agenda as the principal had already received my agenda via email several days prior. This parent was planning on talking about the mismanagement of school board funds. Said parent was planning on bringing in a petition for people to sign against the school board. They also said that all the money that is in the county's budget should be given directly to the teachers in the amount of approx. $595.00. ( that would be all well and good if they didn't need to purchased other materials such as copiers, toner, toilet paper, you all get the drift!) The parent doesn't understand the budget and apparently is so one-side-minded that they are not going to change their opinion. The teachers get BEP money, $200.00 instructional money and then a certain amount per child. This parent supposedly has a new found goal that they are trying to acheive for whatever reasons.

The parent who has had a child in our school for several years has never been to a PTO meeting -- SURPRISE SURPRISE -- in their life. Now this parent has a concern over the PTO purchasing playground equipment rather than purchasing the school supplies needed for the children at the beginning. (crayons, pencils, paper, glue, notebooks, etc.) Doesn't every child get a school supply list to go out and purchase? I know our surrounding counties are that way. Our teachers also have a "wish list". The children do not have to purchase the teacher's wish list - that's why it's called a wish list! But of course this parent has a problem with that also.

I know that this parent is going to cause a stink this year...this parent has not talked to me yet. But this parent during my speech at open house typed every word that I said...I need advice from you all on how to handle this parent. I know that they will want on the agenda of the next meeting. I know that if it's not worthy then they will not be placed on the agenda.

I am sorry that I rattled on, help me please!!! Come on d ~ I know you will have some good advice. d -EMAIL ME and I will give you some more detail.
Thanks in advance for everyone's help in advance.
Have a great Labor Day weekend!