There are really two issues here.

1. Can/should the PTO break away from the school as an independent group and manage it's own funds? (Because right now, you're serving as a committee for the school.)
2. Whatever happens, how can you arrange a better relationship where the parent group has input into fundraisers and the use of funds?

Your time to negotiate this is when the fundraising is planned. If the school is using parent volunteers to run the fundraisers (not to mention that it's most likely parents doing the buying), then that's when you have the leverage.

I know it's hard, but try not to let it become adversarial. Start from the point that both sides want the same thing - to benefit the school and students. But if the parents are going to make this effort, then they want some input into how the funds are spent. Most importantly - put the agreement in writing. If possible, an agreement both sides sign. If nothing else, a write up of the meeting with your understanding of the discussion, that is sent to the principal.

I've come full circle on this issue, no longer believing it's automatically the "right" thing for a parent group to be independent. Certainly it's a good way to go, but there a lot of work and overhead with that status, and it's not for everyone. Being a committee and letting the school provide the treasury function can work well - but you still deserve input into the process.

Up until last year, our school got "blanket checks" to cover things like field trip, education fund, and assemblies. All total it came to around $5000. This year we asked for receipts for our books as to where the money was being spent. The secretary threw a fit and said no - so we didn't issue a check and took over the billing. Amazingly enough we have about $800 left from those funds.

This is the perfect time to make a break - get your bylaws in order - and next year control your own money. Unfortunately it's going to be ugly. Money brings out the worst in people. Good luck.

The first thing I would do is check your bylaws. If you don't have any, I would write some quickly! Our principal would never dream of taking control of our money. We are a separate entity from the school, and we are there to support the school. We vote on how we spend the money. Our principal gives us input on whether she wants certain things to go on in the school, but she can't take our money from us. We have our own checking account.

As far as the school secretary counting all PTO funds, that sounds crazy to me. Our school secretary would never have that kind of time on her hands to sit there and count money that should be counted by PTO members. Something sounds a little fishy to me.

I would get together with all of your board members and request a special meeting with the principal. Parents in your school helped raise the money for the PTO, and your PTO should be able to spend it how you see fit, and the money should be in your own account.

This is my first year as PTO President. Last year our principal said that all PTO money had to be deposited into the school account. If we need money we have to ask him and his secretary will write a check. I spoke with him about this and he said he's "protecting us". Neither myself nor our treasurer are even allowed to touch the money when we have a fundraiser. The school secretary does all the counting. We had a membership drive and we said that the class that got the most parents to join would get a free ice cream party. The teacher in the class that won asked me to get all-natural ice cream (no preservatives). I said sure, I didn't care. The secretary would not give me a check because she said that the teacher would get the cheapest ice cream I could find and told me to only get generic ice cream. I was so angry. I went to the grocery store and asked them to donate all-natural ice cream. They did! It's like we can't use the money the way we want. I spoke with the principal. He says "No! The money stays in the school account." What do I do? I don't think there's anything I can do.