I agree, wholeheartedly, Dianna. It is unfair to make the kids suffer because the adults don't know how to express themselves in a constructive manner.

I have tuned myself out to the "schmer-schmer." Unless people come directly to me, I don't take part in the sniping or whatever.

I LOVE that the kids and I have one thing in common: Enthusiasm. We are genuinely happy to be at school (me probably more than them!), and love it there.

I have NO intention of guilting people into anything. I want to do what we can and do it well, and if some stuff falls by the wayside due to lack of participation, oh well. It's better that we do what we can with a happy heart than half-*** everything to be sure we get everything on the docket that was done before.

And aOK, I love your quotes. Thanks.

Only two more days of school, then it's pool time for me and the kids!!

your answer, Dianna, cannot be improved upon (not by me, anyway) but you made me think of this thought:

"I must take issue with the term 'a mere child,' for it has been my invariable experience that the company of a mere child is infinitely preferable to that of a mere adult." Fran Lebowitz

Hey Vicky--boy these boards are becoming so congenial....Tim must be very proud of all of us [img]smile.gif[/img] . You know you are in a difficult place but as the others before this post mentioned it is the right one. Every time you let something pass that is against the bylaws, you've lowered the standards of your PTO. Now that doesn't mean you can/should go crazy...but definitely the audit is something I wouldn't compromise on. Of course the last prez is feeling attacked. But that is not your intent. I had a similar incident with the president I replaced and yes, I just let it pass. Wounds won't heal if you keep picking and eventually we came to an understanding and relationship that allowed our PTO to experience the benefit of her considerable talents. If I had pursued the issue I suspect it would not have gotten better. So my thought would be to give her some space and keep doing what you know is right for the organization. Your goal is to make it healthy so that when you leave you get to play "show and tell" with the incoming president and let them take your example. It's not easy sometimes, but these decisions you're making are not ones that you make lightly. People will come to see that and appreciate that you are the leader. Good luck....and hang tough. This is a marathon not a sprint...


Jules--don't you do this to yourself girlfriend. Don't give these nay sayers the power to take away your energy. If they were truly interested in what was right for the organization, they might chime in tactfully and tell you where they believe you are going awry but to sit back and judge is as easy as winning yesterdays football game.
If you build it, and it is healthy and fun, people will come. They'll come Jules (hmmm this sounds very familiar [img]smile.gif[/img] ). If you lose some committee chairs, then focus on doing the things you can do exceptionally well and let the children really experience the event. You cannot guilt folks into taking on committee responsibilities and even if you do, you'll get what you pay for which is an unenthusiastic chair...yuk...it's better to have a free ice cream social and make the children happy then to have a miserable carnival where folks walk away feeling like you are an unorganized group (she says when her Carnival is 2 days away). The parents who have done this in the past are a small handful -- there are tons out there looking for your enthusiasm, that felt the last group was too stuck in their ways and that things should have a breath of fresh air. That's why you're there and that's what you bring to the table.

If it gets to where you cannot play with the adults, play with the kids...they still now how to make things fun.

Dianna

Okay, I've been watching this board for a couple of days to see how this would pan out, and I have to add something.

I am "new" to our PTO this year, and I am extremely active within both the PTO and our school. I took on fundraising this year, a position which has, for the better part of five years, sat empty.

People asked me to do it, and I said no. Three times. Finally, I said yes, and I never once regretted my decision. Until about two weeks ago.

It has come to my attention that for quite some time, some of the members of the past PTO board feel that I (and the new prez) are not respectful of the way things have been done in the past. We have new ideas, want to reinvent the wheel on a couple of new things, are REALLY enthusiastic, and are bringing in a lot of new blood.

They feel that we are basically spitting on the remains of past years PTO run activities.

The thing is, parent volunteers were at an all-time low in the past couple of years, and the board decided to take on several of the committees themselves.

Our new president basically said that if we don't have people to head the committees, those events will not happen, which is MORE THAN FAIR, I think, since I truly believe that people will step up to the plate, not out of obligation, but because they want to, and have felt like they couldn't in the past.

We are really excited to be doing this, however, there has been such a negative downturn not by the teachers, definitely not by the students, but by the parents who have done this in the past, which is so sad. It has been a real eye-opener for us, and unbelievably disappointing.

The hardest thing for me is that I didn't want to do this in the first place, then I got excited, now I am rethinking my decision. I could just be hanging out with my kids, and here I am getting stressed out because people think I am trying to bash what they've done in the past, when in fact, I'm just trying to build on what they started.

I just want to do what's best for my kids and our school. It's that simple.

Vicky - sounds like you're doing the right thing. The beauty and power of bylaws is that they are an impersonal, dispassionate set of rules that every member agrees to follow (even if they didnt' know they had agreed!). You can't go wrong or be criticized if you stick to the rules. The bylaws might need to be revised over time, but for now, they are the rules that govern your PTO.


If the past board is having separation anxiety, that's their problem, not yours (Except of course that you can't really do your job if you can't get the files and the treasurer's books). From what you've said, I think the past president was happy at the top and is having trouble with the realization that she is a regular member now. I don't think that's so uncommon. Hopefully she'll come back to PTO activity, but if not, you shouldn't worry about it. She's put in her time, probably done some good things, but maybe it's time for some new faces. You do, however, need the files and you must persist until you get them from the past officers. Don't take her attitude personally, she'd probably be sore regardless of who has taken her place.

Regarding the overpaid sales tax....sure you can pursue it, especially if you have an expert willing to take it on. Sales tax is a state issue, so you may have different rules, but don't be surprised if you don't qualify for as much back as you think. I've been told that the vendor has the duty to charge sales tax if we pay by personal credit card, for example, since we can't prove the sale is actually for the PTO. I also understand there's alot of gray as far as what purchases are really exempt - it's got to be a purchase that directly supports our exempt purpose. For example, if we buy a whole lot of pop to resell for the carnival, that might not be tax exempt since selling food isnt' part of our non-profit mission. If we provide the tax-exempt paperwork to the vendor, tax is usually waived, but that's not always as easy as it sounds. We do a lot of pre-purchase/then reimbursement, and for those many purchases, it's hard to anticipate who needs the paperwork. When we order something large, we do pursue the tax exemption, since the vendor is ususally familiar with the process and easy to work with.

I'm not an expert, but I got discouraged when I looked into it in the past. I estimated one year that we paid several hundred dollars in state sales tax, but it wasn't obvious that we could try to recover it. Instead, we tried to educate our committee chairs so they know how to purchase to avoid the sales tax. Not necessarily as effective as I'd like, but we're at least trying to reduce our "donation" to the state. Come back and let us know how your pursuit goes. Maybe you can provide some tips for other PTOs who want to recover their overpaid sales tax.

I am a new PTO Prez who has found out in the last week that the bylaws were just words written on paper and NEVER followed. There has never been an audit (in bylaws), Treasurer didn't want her signature on an application for 501(3)(c) (bylaws say we are and must abide by rules). We have had to beg and plead for final reports of meetings and treasurer. And we still haven't received books or checkbook from Treasurer. Now the past president and treasurer have told us that they will not turn over the supply list names to us of parents who ordered in the spring for this next school year. They want to be the ones to put it together and distibute to teachers.

I advised her that there will be an audit next week and we needed all lists from her and treasurer reports. I stated that the board must vote on a chair for that committee and I really felt there would be no problem if she wanted it but I was not the one to make that decision. That is what the board is for. Bylaws say I can appoint a chair to any committee anytime I feel the need with the majority of the board approving the appointment. Her board is the one that wrote the bylaws.

She also says they need to make sure all invoices and taxes are paid. The new Treasurer works for a non-profit organization is the person under the CFO. Our PTO has over paid and double paid quite a lot of sales taxes and on some items that aren't taxable. I told her all info needs to be turned over to us and we would take care of anything outstanding and handle the taxes. Their duties officially ended the 1st of May but they won't let go.

She went balistic and said she would turn over the list but was through with PTO. I hate loosing her as she is really a good person and a valueable volunteer. I have apologize for upsetting her and told her I did and still appreciate all she has done for PTO. Should I just let go and hope she gets over it?

Please, if anyone knows what I could have done or can still do or should do to let me know.

I love this message board and it has been such a BIG help and inspiration. I'm really hoping to hear from dlf, and Capedad. I read any and everything you two write because it just what the doctor usually orders. [img]smile.gif[/img]