Well, you've thrown some more light on the subject and that helps. But I think the advice dlf and I gave you still holds true.

On top of that, I'd say just keep plugging away, doing what you and your team feel is the best way to serve your community.

Maybe the past group struggled and failed to achieve all that they wanted to. Seeing your success only highlights their failures. Don't allow anyone to turn it into an 'Us vs Them' issue. Like dlf said,

It's hard for people to talk bad about you when your so busy talking good about them.

Thanks for the peptalks. I should have mentioned that this hasn't been the best year for our PTO to begin with. Our past president resigned at the beginning of the year, so our VP has been "acting" all year, and will continue as VP for the next two years (re-elected), so that's a good thing.

BUT, we have been trying to do that, I guess I didn't realize how each and every thing we have done since we took our positions has been so deeply scrutinized.

Not to sound heartless, but, quite honestly, as I send out notes in our weekly folders, it is more important to me to target the new families and get fresh blood/volunteers than it is to tiptoe around each word I write in an effort not to insult others. I'm not saying I write insulting notes, I'm saying that I write flashy ad-type notes that get the message across. (In a former life, I used to work as a copywriter in advertising. It's all in the packaging.)

I go out of my way to ensure that everyone, past and present, knows how much I appreciate and honor everything that has done in the past to get us where we are now. However, it seems to get nowhere but twisted around and thrown back in my face.

I did a small fundraiser with our new president (when we were "nobodies") in January, something the oldies thought couldn't be done. It was a huge community-builder, which involved students, parents, faculty. It was great. So much fun. We pulled it off, AND made money. And yet, it still was something they thumbed their noses at.

And now, four months later, here we are, fundraising chairperson and president, and they are still unwilling to accept us, unwilling to hear our ideas, and unwilling to truly tell us how they feel, even behind closed doors.

It's only through others that we hear what we shouldn't be hearing. This needs to stop, and I need to find a good way to stop it.

My only thought to add to Crew Chief is to honor those folks that have come before you. If you haven't done so yet, pitch in and give the outgoing folks a momento, talk about how great they were and be very humble as to how you plan on building from their legacy. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be the best...you just have to sell it as a message that you're not trying to be better than. A good start may be adopting a motto like "building on yesterdays traditions toward tomorrows successes" or "Yet another step into a bright future". Sounds hokey I know but when I took over, and even though I sometimes didn't get along with the last president, I made it a point to thank her very publicly, list the things that she'd accomplished and present her with an engraved key chain. It's hard for people to talk bad about you when your so busy talking good about them. Then come the end of next year, you can look back and see how much you've accomplished and without saying it folks will know that together you all were the best. May sound corney...but I promise it'll work....

Jules - Hang in there!!! The best thing about parent groups is the influx of new members and, therefore, new energy and ideas.

Your instincts are serving you well if you sense some tension from the more seasoned members. Yes, you are right to think that they may feel insulted by trying to change too much too soon. Remember that they have been doing this for awhile and have poured their hearts, souls, own money, free time, everything into it to make it is what you see now. That doesn't mean it's perfect, and there surely is room for improvement, but move slowly.

I say start with one or two of your most important ideas and work within the current structure to implement them. They'll see your hard work and dedication and that you have the best interests of the community in mind while also showing respect for all of those who came before you.

Hi,

I just recently took the position of fundraising chairperson at our public (k-5) school, and there is also a new president for next year. It's been hard for both of us to find our niche within the already formed group of ladies who have done so much for our school, but we're happy with our new respective "jobs."

Both of us have relatively young kids (kindergarten and first graders). Because of that, we both have what you might call "Pollyanna" attitudes, I guess. We just really want to make our school the best and greatest for our kids.

The problem is that the outgoing members and those who are still remaining think that we are just unappreciative and don't have a lot of regard for what they have done in the past (e.g., Since we want to make our school the best and greatest, it clearly hasn't been the best and greatest yet, due to the work of the past PTO members.)

Now, we understand that it's not about us, the new PTO president and I, but we are concerned about the message this is sending to the parents. With the amount of divisiveness spreading throughout the school, it's very hard to get new volunteers, let people know that we're excited to be doing this, etc.

We've tried to explain that we're not saying it hasn't been great, but the outgoing members just aren't hearing us. We can't break through, and now I don't know what to do.

I have considered just stepping down, since there is such a negative aura, but I don't know how that would help. I've got some good ideas, and I know that I can get the job done, but I feel like I'm doing more damage control than actual work for the school.

Please help!

Thanks.