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"Divorcing" Tough Members

18 years 2 months ago #103755 by <goodgal>
Replied by <goodgal> on topic RE: "Divorcing" Tough Members
mom2m&a,,,sounds like the m&a should stand for mergers and acquisitions! good for you, to work on BUILDING relationships and staying with the program..you go girl!!!thats the exact correct spirit that you bring to your group.
18 years 2 months ago #103754 by mom2m&a
Replied by mom2m&a on topic RE: "Divorcing" Tough Members
The proceeds from this event will just go into our general fund. We are saving money for a stand-alone science lab and of course we have a huge amount of money we pay to keep the school going each year.

I know that some of these events raise thousands of dollars, but they expect to only raise about $3000 from the auction due to the fact that it's a small event.

I do appreciate all of your support. I found out today that they are trying to go directly to the principal and get her permission to do things rather than ask me. She is not cooperating so I'm sure they are frustrated.

I know this comes across like and "us vs. them" thing and I'm sorry it has deteriorated to this. I've been doing this job for two years and I have tried very hard to build relationships and stop this kind of thing, but this is a very difficult group.
18 years 2 months ago #103753 by Critter
If this event is being billed as a PTO-sponsored event, and more importantly, if the committee is using the PTO's tax id number (which you indicated), then the committee is absolutely responsible to report their work and clear major decisions with the Executive Board. It's wonderful that they are putting themselves into such a big project, but they can't work in isolation if they say it's a PTO project. Your idea about divorcing the committee is interesting, but that seems to undermine the whole point of having a parent group. Better to embrace the committee than isolate them.

By the way, what are the proceeds being used for and who will decide? A big silent auction can bring in $30,000 or more. Right now, I'd be working on sorting out this issue before the money is collected. And if the committee is using the PTO name/number, the PTO decides, not just the auction steering committee.
18 years 2 months ago #103752 by pals
i back when Serendipity says, they are using the schools pto name and the group needs to be involved. I suggest trying to get to the bottom of it and tell them they either need to work with the pto members or stop doing what they are doing. good luck!

"When you stop learning you stop growing."
18 years 2 months ago #103751 by Serendipity
Hi! I have not personally had this problem. We do have an adult night out acution, but it is put together by the regular volunteering PTO members.

The problem with this group of people is that since they are not following PTO protocol and attending meetings and reporting on what they are doing and what is going on it does put you in a less then good position. They are out there using the name of your group to back this auction but your group is completely and totally out of the loop on what is going on and I don't blame you for feeling the way you do. If something were to go awry the PTO would be blamed for it as it is your name they are using and yet you have no control or info on what they are doing

One possibility is to put regular PTO involved people in charge of the event. If you have no willing person to do that then I would tell them they either have to involve the PTO or form their own school group to hold this function and then donate the money to the PTO or the school itself.
18 years 2 months ago #103750 by mom2m&a
"Divorcing" Tough Members was created by mom2m&a
We have a group of volunteers that decided that we needed to have an adults-only evening event and silent auction this year. All of the private schools in our area do this and usually it is their main fundraiser. We are a very diverse public school with a population that goes from very wealthy to extremely poor. All of these women have kids that used to go to private schools and they felt our school had to "step up" with the fundraiser.

I put them off last year and finally gave in this year. It has been a nightmare. None of these volunteers every show their faces at school to volunteer for anything else but this is their pet project. They have had a hard time getting people to help them since they are not easy to get along with. I'll give them credit - they have gotten a lot of stuff donated, but the administrative side has been hard.

Anyway, to make a long story short, throughout this process they have sidestepped our PTO board. No one came to meetings or gave updates (the chair says "meetings are not her thing".) They decided early on that the board was trying to sabotage their event (not true in any way, we just had to make sure things were legal since they are using our tax id number). They have sent numerous nasty emails to me and about me to the principal. I have been President for two years and have never had this kind of trouble with any fundraiser.

I don't want to go through this again (neither does the rest of the board). We are thinking about telling this group that if they want to do this next year they have to form their own foundation and get their own tax id number and 501c3 status so they can do whatever they want and give the money directly to the school. Has anyone else had a similar situation? I know there are tough members everywhere but has anyone out there "divorced" a group?
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