I have a member like this. She's a great volunteer but only if she gets her own way. She also can't get along with other volunteers - we always say she "doesn't work well with others". I have learned that I have to be really clear about what she can and cannot do and when she threatens to quit or has a fit just say fine, I'll find someone else to take it on. Usually she comes back - never apologizes, just says she changed her mind. One time she became hysterical (screaming and crying) because a flyer she made didn't get put out in our Wednesday packet by mistake. I finally looked at her and calmly asked her if this was really worth crying about - and she agreed it wasn't.

I feel sorry for this woman - I think she is very unhappy with herself and takes it out on all of us. I agree that people like this try and hold you hostage and that the only way to deal with them is like you would a child.

Did anyone else laugh aloud when they read this?
[img]smile.gif[/img]

Confused member, I'm sorry for the trouble you're having with this member... but I got to tell you, at the next meeting I have with irate parents, Im going to be saying to myself "At least, they're not crying! At least, they're not crying!"

I think the president should privately discuss the issue with her before the next meeting. More than once, I've had to remind several of our board members that if someone disagrees with an idea, it's not to be taken personally... it just means everyone's contributing their opinions, which in the end helps us be a better group. If your president is able to handle this tactfully, I think it's your best bet!

Good luck!
Kelley

I agree she is holding you hostage. This is sort of like passive agressive behavior on her part because she is crying to get her way instead of screaming and cursing at you. Think about it if she were screaming and yelling instead of crying how would you handle her?

The bottom line is you need to put and end to it. Someone has to tell her that while you appreciate her input and volunteerism, that there has to be room for discussion and a sharing of ideas and there is no place for all this drama and crying as it is making everyone uncomfortable and is counter productive to the group. If she quits, she quits. She has been threatening to quit for 2 years anyway...let her do it.

and stomp her feet,too.
It sounds like all her ideas are shot down. Does anyone explain why the ideas won't work & try to use a calm tone of voice? I think it's great she wants to be a part of stuff but using tears to get her way...that's overboard. Good luck!

[ 04-04-2006, 06:02 PM: Message edited by: Renee S ]

You could always table the topic for discussion during a private BOard session asking core committee members to the meeting to findout "the rest of the story". Or even an e-mail discussion would be good at this point.

This might sound kinda mean, be straight forward and inform her that a frank discussion will begin and she would like to leave for a moment she is welcome to.

I would feel like I have to put my "dealing with a two year old" hat on to deal with this parent...really, she is an adult huh? CAn I ask this (and please laugh at this ) does she threaten to hold her breath :confused: ....I'm sorry, couldn't resist.

what are her kids like??

Are these really critical issues that warrant such an emotional response? If someone constantly threatens to quit or cries if they don't get their way, she is holding you hostage. I say this because she's been doing this for 2 years. If it was an isolated occurence I'd worry about her personal life or health. These still could be reasons for her behavior. Can the president or one of her friends talk to her about her behavior? But the bottom line is that she is very disruptive and if she can't control herself, I'd call her bluff and let her quit.