First let me reassure you that in EVERY SCHOOL there are those two people that could just drive one nuts! I am lucky enough to have survived one mom that I never really did understand our friendship but I learned so many do's and dont's!

If you are a K-6, you may not need to disban is they are getting ready to move on....if you are a K-12 you could also just hope they get tired of "fighting the fight" (yeah, the one THEY started ) and be given the chance to move on.

It could happen with no moneys flying either!!!

As far as the Principal, I have seen it and survived the same issue with this mom. She just felt that and could not understand why she could not know some of the craziest information. Now it's funny secruity was mentioned. We have to be buzzed into our school, a proceedure that was put into place as we are in a business area near a gas station. At our school THE only doors you can enter during the day from the outsdie are the ones with the buzzer. Getting out of the building is much easier than getting in. This mom was so mad and crazy over the whole thing. Funny thing, when a man carring a gun two blocks from the school, was on the loose, our school was in lock down, and now those front doors weren't such a bad idea. They have also come in handy with irrate parents that start their visit verbally abusing the front office staff.

At any rate, you could disban ( with the hope they don't join or take over that effort); pray for graduation; OR ban a group of parents together to vote out these parents.

Just keep doing what you do best and keep yourself above the "yuck"....I would rather Queen of the flower garden that King of the shitzu pile!!

I agree with pals. If the money is for the school, then the pto has no say in it. If it's for the pto then the group & the principal should decide. It is the principal's school afterall. The pto could possibly get in trouble with the principal, school board & superintendant if they send letters home that are not 'school appropiate'. The pto could also lose their privledges at the school....no more meeting there, no pto sponsored activities allowed at the school.... Talk with the principal & see how he/she wants to handle it. Like pals said disban & start fresh. Good luck

Okay take a breath...is your group a 501 c? If not talk to your principal about dissolving the group, all officers, bylaws, everything and totally start from scratch,extreme? Yes but no, we went through this with our old PTA. when our principal came in she saw the writing on the wall and it was dissolved. She started a pto, with no dues, nothing... she ran it for three months and then asked me to do it. After a year we did the bylaw, incorporating, 501 all of that yada yada.

The important thing to this is to make the fact know that this is starting from square one, send home fliers, fliers, fliers! Do not jump right into officers until a few months down the road. granted this requires the principals help.

As fara s the safety money I am confused why they think they should have all the say, with a husband on the school board I have learned that parents can talk and request BUT alot of times money comes with requirements and catches. I would be honest with your principal about their plans it would help get her/him on your side with starting from scratch. make sure you also survey your parents and staff on what they want from a group...those two that have had control for five years will probably not be back, or if they are it will be at a lower level. Good luck it can be better!!!

First time poster….long time reader.


This is my first year as a PTO officer. Our school is in a small, country town. On the other hand I came from a large, fast paced city. I was recruited as secretary last spring and accepted the challenge because of lack of parent and teacher involvement and huge communication gaps. I created a website hoping to curve the communication gap and it seems to be appreciated. However many parents don’t have access to the internet so the website didn’t accomplish what I was really hoping for.

I’ve realized why there is little parent/teacher involvement…..especially this year. Our PTO officers are extremely divided over pretty much every issue. Two “senior” officers (who have been around the school for 5+ years) pretty much call the shots. They have control over the money, they have the need to put their 2¢ into every committee, they gossip about everything and anything and if that wasn’t enough….they have a horrible working relationship with our principal! Recently there was a security issue that was brought to the officers’/principal’s attention. Basically our school will get additional funds to address this concern but these two don’t feel our principal should be the sole decision maker as to how to spend the money. Furthermore they want to send a notice to PTO members by mail alerting them to the security issue instead of sending it home as usual because our principal reviews everything that goes home with students.

Believe me I’m not perfect….but there are so many things going south it’s just too much to mention. I think about ALL these problems night and day but feel my hands are tied because literally every word that comes out of my mouth is twisted and construed into gossip!! It’s bad…really bad…and I find myself venting once in a while even though I know it will only make things worse!! It’s just sooo hard to find ANYTHING positive to say about our PTO right now!!! Everyone’s comments and suggestions are appreciated!