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stepping on toes

18 years 9 months ago #102697 by Bertha
Replied by Bertha on topic RE: stepping on toes
Since tis woman was elected into office, I would suggest that the rest of the officers sit her down and tell her to back off. Explain that she's pissing off people and it needs to stop. You can't be gentle because with this type of person that won't work.

If that doesn't work and you're within a 4 hour drive from me, I'll come down and open my can of whoop-ass on her! I haven't had a good fight in a while (things are going great by us) and I'm in need of kicking some serious butt! Let me know if you need me, my broomstick is always ready for a ride..
18 years 9 months ago #102696 by Darla Rodriguez
Replied by Darla Rodriguez on topic RE: stepping on toes
Sorry to hear that you have a parent who wants to do it all, and at the expense of others. A person who needs to control everything and obtain glory as well. These are the types of people who think they have to do it all, that no one else is able. They are unthankful for any help, get angry without reasonable cause - or unable to control their tempers. They also are like talking to a brick wall. If you have had several problems, believe me it won't be the end until this person grows up. They also will not take responsibily for their actions and how they treat others. I mention these things as this year we had the displeasure of having such a parent who was great in getting donations last year, become our PTO President this year. To make a long story short, she started in May and resigned in September. Now, maybe your problem Mom will resign if she gets mad enough. Our problem Mother was bugged that our volunteer coorindator stepped in and took on the Papa John's night fund raiser. The PTO President was unable to get the flyers out, so our volunteer coordinator took care of that and a few other things the PTO Pres. was unable to do. Instead of a thank you, for the help - it was taken as "trying to take over" Non of which was true. But I think the problem was correction. Our volunteer person corrected her bad behavior in a conversation having to do with how she yelled and screamed at the Papa John's manager. Bottom line is control on our PTO President's part. She is a very hot tempered person who thinks nothing of how she represents the PTO or school. We were lucky in that she got so mad - she resigned.
18 years 9 months ago #102695 by my3strongtikes
Replied by my3strongtikes on topic RE: stepping on toes
I have run into the "SAME" person recently ours tried changing the dates of an event. She had done a couple things beforehand too. So I just had to basically suck it up and go straight to her and say that we all need to do our own jobs and everything will run more effectively. She wasnt too happy about it but Sa La VIE!! I also had another officer present when I talked with her so words weren't misconstrued.

In the mean time I am putting together a list of chairperson responsibilities and responsibilities/duties for each event/ fundraiser. I will include them with our folders we give them with all the papers and stuff.
I noted in mine also that any changes made need to be approved bya PTO board member.

Good Luck

Cindy

Cindy<br />
<br><br />
<br>____________________________________________<br />
<br>&quot;People have the right to be stupid, but some abuse the privelege.&quot;
18 years 9 months ago #102694 by LUVMYKIDS
Replied by LUVMYKIDS on topic RE: stepping on toes
Unfortunately, I think you may have to just sit her down and be straight with her( I hate confrontation so I know this would stress me). She is a problem and maybe she doesn't realize it or maybe she does but doesn't care. Either way you need to explain to her that your group is a team with each member having responsibilty for certain aspects of the organization's operations. Each person has their own ideas of how to do things and while she might feel she has better ideas she needs to remember that she is NOT in charge of everything. Tell her you appreciate her hardwork, great ideas, and ability to get things done quickly and efficiently, but she needs to stay out of everyone else's business. If she has an idea, she should voice it as such to the person in charge of the event and let them do with it as they will and the other members of the group will do the same for her. She needs to be a team player not a superstar.

If the idea of doing this scares you, remember that she's making people angry and sooner or later those people will get sick of her and leave the group. Suddenly you will have no one in charge of anything because all your wonderful volunteers will be gone. You're saving the future of your group.

Hey Rocky, watch me pull a rabbit out of my hat.
18 years 9 months ago #102693 by &lt;not registered&gt;
stepping on toes was created by &lt;not registered&gt;
Good morning. Stomach is in knots and can't sleep. Thought I'd try the message board for help. We are a brand new school, thus brand new board, and I am a brand new PTO Pres. For the most part we have a great board, and have accomplished a lot in a short time.

We have one over-exuberant member who seems to think she can do everyone's job better than they can. In the name of "just trying to help" she has stepped on a lot of toes. We are now in the midst of the 4th "drama" so far this year, and she has been in the middle of every one of them. The last stunt she pulled was to change part of an activity which someone else is responsible for while that person was out of town. She did not consult that person, nor did she consult me. She got approval from our principal (who did not know she had not consulted anyone) to send a flyer home with the kids that same day. Of course the feathers flew when the other person came back into town and when I learned of it. Now she is saying the other gal just has PMS and is out of control because she's angry about it. I can't imagine that she wouldn't have had the common sense to know that this type of thing just isn't done, and I take responsibility now for not making sure everyone knows that you don't make decisions regarding an activity someone else is in charge of. Duh! We discussed this and set some ground rules in a very long board meeting yesterday. This woman now accuses me of micro-managing since I want her and everyone else to cc me on emails regarding all PTO issues. She was very passive-aggresive in our meeting, saying ok to following the rules but rolling her eyes. It was just her attitude, you know? Because of that attitude and because of the previous "dramas" I am quite sure I am going to have more problems with her. The thing is, she has good ideas and is a hard worker; I just wish she would give suggestions instead of taking it upon herself to do someone else's job. Right in the middle of our meeting today we were talking about needing lots of shoe boxes, and the lady in charge of that particular project said something about contacting a shoe store. Our "problem lady" got up, went to the hallway, made a call on her cell phone, came back in and announced, "Okay, here's what I just got you... Payless is going to save extra shoe boxes for you." This is the way she operates, and in some cases even when something has been coordinated (again, something not under her responsibility)she will make calls to try and get a better deal without consulting anyone on the board, especially not the person in charge of that activity. It really makes others feel like she doesn't think they are doing their job well enough. I am so tired of dealing with her! And then she gets extremely offended if anyone makes a suggestion or even asks a question about something she herself is in charge of. It's crazy!

Has anyone had a similar situation, and can anyone give me some advice on how to handle her? Do I have the right as the president to just tell her she can't do that? Do I have the right to give her the boot? She's an elected officer. I am trying so hard to be diplomatic!

Thanks for any advice, or even just sympathy!
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