Well, she just sounds lovely. Maybe you could find ways to "correct" her less than tactful ways of responding to people. After she makes her statement, jump in with a friendly comment. You're not doing it for her, you're doing it for the poor victim of her verbal assault. Also, some people really don't realize how harsh they sound. I know a person who very often makes people angry because of the way she says things. I really don't think it's intentional(most of the time anyway), I think she just has never really listened to herself.
I guess I would just recommend that you speak with her only about PTO business. Ask your questions, give your answers and otherwise avoid her.

As for people who have been turned off the organization by her I would encourage them not to walk away but to stand up. Nothing will ever change if you just turn your back and walk out. Keep taking your mental notes of how you want to do things next year and focus on getting there.

In regards to the financial statements, don't let that one go. Tough cookies if she doesn't want to look bad. Is she trying to keep the theft from the membership? I'd be pretty angry if I found out that the funds I'd worked so hard to raise had been pilfered and no one told me about it. A regular treasurer's report should be part of every group's meetings. How else can you make financial decisions? Also, I feel that requiring those monthly reports helps to curb some of the temptations to be a sloppy bookkeeper or worse.

WE had some good clashes to with a whole new board coming in. I would sit her down and try to pan it out, if not look at your bylaws and see if you can get her removed.
Instill the goals and objections for the PTO as a whole!
Good luck. It is hard. My VP and Treasurer quit!
Oh well, someone else will want the job.

Yesterday was our second meeting and the pres and I (I am VP) have already clashed on several issues. We had a sit-down and worked out our differences, but the problem I am seeing now goes beyond the different styles she and I have. She can be a very abrasive and tactless person, which many parents have told me has turned them off of PTO completely.

Yesterday right before our meeting she handed me a piece of mail that was in the PTO box that was addressed to me--some fundraising info I had requested. As she handed it to me she said, "This is your mail. I haven't had time to open it yet." I was so shocked that she would even consider opening mail addressed to someone else that I just stared at her. And it's not like she didn;t know what it was--she could tell by the return address. Am I wrong to be annoyed by this, or is it common practice for the pres to open all PTO mail no matter whose name is on it? How would you guys handle this?

At this same meeting we were wrapping up new business (we only had three parents there besides the board, typical for our meetings) and she turned to one of these parents and said, "And what is your purpose for being here?" I know this parent very well, she is a past president, and does not get along with the present pres. I knew the president was trying to ask for new business but the way she did it was very off-putting. This parent also knew what she was asking, but what if the pres addressed a parent this way who didn't know what she was asking?

Aside from these incidents, she continually interrupts people, talks over them, and gets side-tracked by trivial, personal matters. Since she and I have clashed already (and it did get pretty nasty) I am reluctant to call her on these issues, so I just sat back and made mental notes on what I plan to do differently next year. The sec did a good job in trying to keep the meeting on track, and she was a little annoyed with me that I didn't help run the meeting. But since that isn't my job, I was afraid of angering the pres any more than I already have.

I am simply tired of fighting her tooth and nail on stuff. She's already upset with me because I insisted on having a full written financial report at every meeting. There was a theft last year of most of our treasury by the treasurer, and the pres is desperate to keep this quiet as she knows she will take the fall for this.

I don't like the pres, and I don't have to in order to get done what we need to do. But I would like to have a good working relationship with her. That is hard to do, though,with her poor people skills. I know I cannot change her, so what can I do on my end to make things run better?

If you've read this far, I would greatly appreciate any advice you guys have!
TIA, writermom