Our group is very open to discussing options, ideas, and opinions, and I would never stop her from being able to do that. It's more like she just doesn't want anyone else to have a good idea so she works to tear apart anything anyone brings up. You see most people's eyes glaze over when she starts in so I know it's getting to people. I kind of feel bad for a person who sees everything in such a negative light. She has also done some things that have affected some people's trust in her ideas and motives. She seems to be one of those people who care only about how things affect them and who cares about anyone else's needs.

I've calmed down some since last week, but I have a committee meeting this week where she will be involved. It might not make me as upset, if when she goes off on one of her idea expanding/teardown episodes that she would volunteer to help, but she just rips and walks away. It's the destructiveness instead of constructiveness that's bugging me.

I need a FULL glass of something strong!

and Luv...silly girl, OUR glass is ALWAYS HALF FULL!

CHEERS!

give her a bag of tooties pops.....what??? If her mouth is full....

I remember a gal like that a few years ago, unfortunatly I did the wrong thing by just shutting down when we were together. I mean I spoke when spoken to, I had no thoughts except the next day talking to the President. I literaly became a turtle and hid in a shell. Dumb.

The one thing that sounds similar to our situations, the parent is just not happy about something be it with the school or a policy, something is just not sitting right with her and I know "we" couldn't do anything for her....she did leave and I hate to say this but she is much happier now at her new school and we are happy for her. Would it be something one can do to just have coffee with this parent and find out what is the "bug"....you know the rest . Who knows what issues are resolvable and which are just "her" but maybe it's the stuff that needs to be said and dealt with so your group can move on.....

The way that I try to handle that type of person is simply by saying "Thank you for offering your opinion. We'll take that into consideration, and if the majority of the membership agrees with you, we'll nix the idea." This way, you acknowledge his or her feelings, but still leave the idea open to pursue. It also allows for others to see that a person's opinions ARE ACKNOWLEDGED, they DO matter, but the group as a whole, makes the decision. There will always be the negative people--in the school, at church, on the playground, at work, etc. And they do seem to get more attention (which in my opinion, is just what they want), but dealing with the negativity can be wearing. Keep a smile on your face, and keep on a truckin'! Eventually, she (or he) will realize that although opinions are valid, they do not alone make (or break) an organization. I hope this helps! Good luck!

Luv, there will always be the person who belives that their opinion needs to be heard even if it isn't constructive. If she gets off base, then round her back in but if she is being over critical then ask her what she thinks should be done to see if she has good ideas or is just blowing steam. I've been to meetings were they don't have brainstorming and chitchat like ours-it's all voting and motioning-and they are this way because they had too many people who couldn't be open to other's ideas.

Does she bring her re-buttal of ideas to membership meetings? Does the entire membership agree her thoughts are off-base?

The beauty of people to be individuals with their own opinions. Like them or not they HAVE them!

You're not specific about what ideas you are presenting and what she is disagreeing about. Is it part of the idea or the whole idea? Does she have a better idea that is agreed upon by everyone? Is she just wanting to see how far she can push your buttons?

These things would be factors in helping you with this problem.