Thanks once again for all the advice! You are all right, I should have just jumped in and introduced myself and what stopped me was the look I got just by handing her the thank you card I had for her LOL.

I'm going to talk to her and apologize for that comment and just remind her again that the president is the one responsible if things go bad, the president is the one who has to answer to anyone upset and so on.


Our bylaws do state that it is my job as the president to appoint committees and oversea all committee functions and the treasurer is responsible for all money transaction with the approval of the majority of the executive board. That's the part that upsets me, the VP will take her vote and 2 others, one which may not be me and she'll forget to tell me about these decisions. If I had gone against it, it still would have been approved BUT I still NEED TO BE AWARE OF THEM????

Sometimes I feel like she just doesn't have faith in me and that I cannot perform the duties as the president. Last year we had a president who was non existant. I was the VP and she was the secretary. I really didn't have the right or the knowledge to make certain decisions but this year, since I AM the president, I fully know what I am capable of.

When our donuts with dad started Friday morning, our principal was not there, she was in a meeting and I jumped in and took the reigns. I had it all organized for both the dads and the volunteers and she kept jumping off track.

I was basically the only one who was greeting the "lost" dads when they walked in while they all sat huddled in a group talking (even though I had asked her to help as they were coming in groves)???? then I had our student council escourt the dads to the classrooms, I had the number donuts dozens for each classroom which I was delegating down the list and she kept jumping in with people stating "Okay, where does this person go" and I would just say "let's just keep going down the class list so that every class room is covered for sure. I even had a few of the volunteers mention to me how organized it was. (especially with this being our first one)

Thanks again for all the advice!

I'm very thankful my VP (and close friend) isn't like yours!!

CHECK YOUR BYLAWS!!! I'd have a real problem with a VP being given unreined ability to approve expenditures. It sounds petty, but you know what--you ARE president, and with all that "glory" also comes RESPONSIBLITY. In the end, "the powers that be" don't care who the VP, committee chair or treasurer is--because you know what? In the end when something goes amiss YOU will be the one called on the carpet and held responsible for the actions of others. Right or wrong-that's the way it is. When one of our committee chairs got a little crazy with HER "power" and OKed certain aspects and EXPENSIVE expenditures for an un-named fundraiser (that the executive board had OKed) WITHOUT my OR the VPs or the FUNDRAISING CHAIR'S or the TREASURER's OK and presented us with a fundraiser we felt was run half-assed and the bill, I admittedly got a little crazy that my position had been circumvented. But the damage was done, the fundraiser was already in motion and it would have become VERY ugly had we just refused payment of the bill. What made me the craziest was actually not that she had gone ahead and spent the money AND made certain decisions about the fundraiser without my official OK ( ) but rather that SHE went off the deep-end for ME being angry! I'm now "power hungry" and "controlling." BTW the same person also is angry that I wasn't "more involved" in the directing of the committee or taking care of certain aspects of the fundraiser. Never mind when I saw things starting to go amiss and I DID ask if they needed help, or had suggestions for certain aspects of this fundraiser I was told at that time that I was "controlling" and a "power freak!" And before anyone reminds me there are polite and diplomatic ways to do these things--BELIEVE ME--this I know and was careful about.

Needless to say, this person and I aren't exactly friends now, which is too bad, because I had been fond of this person up to this point.

I'm totally with Metzy about the introduction and authority thing. A lot of this I'm finding out through a rather painful learning process! I too am in a quandry about how to gently remind people that we have a elected governing body of the group for a reason. I've come to the conclusion there isn't any way to do that. Tactful and polite ways, perhaps, but in then end those who resent or just don't understand your authority are always going to see it their way, and see the gentlest of reminders as a foot-stomping, bitch-slapping attack. The people who DO get it never need the reminder and generally don't have issues with you.

BTW, I TOTALLY admit I have control issues [img]tongue.gif[/img] . BUT it doesn't mean I always ACT on them.

a pres and a vp need to operate together. sounds to me like you both need to sit down together and chat. your vp may not know what you expect from her so before things get hostile you need to try more communication.

sounds like you need to change your draft authority and approval process.

also, if someone feels more comfortable talking to your VP so what! at least it gets someone new involved. i understand that all of the complaints go directly to the top, thats the way it is in every organization, thats just part of being a pres.
-good luck

I could go on and on and on, but here it is in a nut shell: You are the president. Ta Da! When parents/staff start b*tching, you are the one they are going to look for. Make sure that everyone knows that. Tell your veep that if she wants to, she can handle the bad as well as the good.

As for the treasurer, who else signs the checks? It sounds like it is a 'one signature' situation. Get that changed to 2 signatures and make sure you are one of them.

Now, for a reality check: Do your bylaws say who can okay money? If it isn't exclusively you, then guess what? It isn't exclusively you...lol... When you didn't see an introduction coming, why didn't you introduce yourself? I'll bet the parent is wondering that too. Being president sometimes means putting your foot down to those around you. Being pres means jumping into situations like the introduction thing. It is how you do it that makes you a good/bad pres.

Myself? The treasurer does nothing without my okay as far as issuing checks. I do nothing without an okay from the majority of the officers. We do nothing alone, we always check with each other before doing anything, especially where money is concerned.

A good rule to remember: If you do not assert your authority, someone else will assert theirs.

I hope this doesn't sound harsh. I 'thought' it with a soft voice

Good Luck!

[ 09-24-2004, 06:54 PM: Message edited by: TheMetzyMom ]

Holy toledo, sounds so sososososososo familiar!!! I am off to work but when I get back I will write some advice... Holy toledo... did I say that already. Deja vu? maybe

You all are so good at offering advice I need a little help with my "handle with kid gloves" Vice Pres.

She's a person who takes everything personally and can be offended easily and she's really been a great friend and partner in our PTO!

My challenge is:
We've been having a problem with a parent rep who's going to our Treasurer to get checks for stuff (that IS PTO related but she is going WAY over budget and this stuff hasn't been approved by the committee and it needs to be first!) and this parent rep tells the treasurer that I and the VP okay'd it. Well, we caught wind and I called the Treasurer and explained that she is only to give checks to a committee member if I PERSONALLY CALL HER and tell her it's okay. Well the VP said that she could approve things also and would just tell me about them later.

Then today, we did our first donuts with dad (GREAT SUCCESS) and I came straight home wrote out Thank You's to all the volunteers (which there were MANY) and went back up to school. My VP was there talking to a parent, who has been at the school for 5 years just never got involved and I hear the VP talking about all of our fundraisers and events and I walked over to give the VP her Thank YOu. She gave me a look like "can't you see I"m talking" and I stood there for a moment waiting for her to introduce this parent to me and she never did? So Iwent about my business delivering my Thank You's to the classrooms and when I got done, I asked her who that person was and she went on to tell me it's a parent who's a stay at home mom, who wants to be involved this year as it's her oldest last year there and she's got 2 more here and blah blah blah . . .well I said, "Oh I wish you would have introduced me to her" and she gave me a look like "why????" . .....WELL BECAUSE I'M THE PRESIDENT OF THE PTO.

I'm truely a TEAM player and with my VP I think the fact that I"m STILL THE PRESIDENT slips by her??? How can I gently remind her that even though we do things as a team, I'm still the person responsible for the committee's, for the volunteers, for where our PTO funds are being spend and how much is being spent and so on. . .if a parent gets upset about the money that our parent rep spent, they are going to come to me and ask me WHY WAS THIS AMOUNT SPENT . .if a parent comes to me complaining that they signed up to volunteer for an event and were never called, it's up to me to answer them??

Am I wrong here? We are really having a tough time with strong willed parents on the committee and two of them NEVER attend the executive meetings so that we can discuss this????? I personally don't want to come across to anyone as the "top dog president" but these members have to keep in mind that while we all make decisions as a team, I'm responsible for that final decision and if any of the members disagree with it I'm the one who has to handle the situation.

Advice, am I wrong? Just wanted some "pro's" opinions before I gently confront my VP.