Sorry, I am in a rush this morning and forgot to add to Chocolateveggie - Get your hands on your bylaws. Demand them if you have to and get people aware of what is in them so you all have a leg to stand on at your next meeting (hoping you have somewhat fairly regular meetings) read the sections in the bylaws out loud in the meeting (when there is the questions and comments section).

I don't care what anyone says Metzy.. you are a shiny red apple here! How is that carpal tunnel doing?


As per your post, been there and done that. I am not up for any re elections though.
Sounds like you have a very driving personality though and wanted to get the organization going and on the right foot. When I am in my "mode"- I am in my "mode" and my hat is "ON". Some people do not like when a strong individual is able to come into the midst and get it going and perform CPR on the organization - something that was needed and YOU happened to be the person to do it. The "green monster" comes out in some people (jealousy).

And I do agree there are definitely some bad apples and some who do not know what BYLAWS are and their purpose within an organization. These types just come in clueless and can wreak havoc on a group. (How do they get in....that is the question...)

Nothing to forgive MKM! I think we have all had 'one of those' or been 'one of those'...

Sometimes it is hard to remember that, for the most part, 99% of even the hated/bad ones are there for the right reason. Everyone gets a bad apple now and then, and the gal in the original post may be a bad apple. I'm just saying that 3 years ago, our group considered me (I know, I know, it doesn't seem possible...lol...) the bad apple. And I'm not... at least I don't think I am...lol...

FOrgive me Metzy...sometimes the response that you want to make and the one that is logically better is the one that shines. Trust me, it makes sense.

I too have worked several years with a hated parent (no matter what office she held) and I lived to tell about it. I also became a little wiser for it.

Chocolate...I hope you can see the point Metzy is making here. Her way sounds better....mine just pouring gas on a fire.

I have a bit of a different take on this. You see, I was a hated president 3 years ago. I wasn't as 'it's all about me' as this person sounds like, but I believe that is how I was perceived by many. If any of the members had written about me, it may have come out the way the original post does here.

Thing is, I had spent 3 years listening to the prior boards' ideas ("this is the way we've always done it" is the war cry I remember) while having any new ideas shot down with rapid fire mouths. I helped with every event (no committees if you can believe that) and firmly ensconched myself into the group. After I won the election (unanimously, I might add), I began putting NEW ideas into place. Every single one of them worked and worked better than any prior idea to date. After I was elected, I remember even telling one woman that when she was president, she could make the decisions but until then the group was under my leadership and we would be doing things my way (oh my, how cocky and self assured I was then...lol...). I did use ideas from others and included everyone who wanted to be included, which may be one of the differences between myself and your P.I.T.A. Was I right to take over like that? Well, everything worked and worked well...

And now, For The Rest Of The Story...

I lost a bid for reelection. I was beaten unfairly, but beaten nonetheless. People really felt that I was a dictator. And it sounds that way, doesn't it? It didn't matter that we did fewer fundraisers with better results, that we had better attendance at meetings, that we had volunteers coming out our collective arses, that we accomplished more than any group before, that no 'one' person took credit for anything, that new ideas were used successfully, etc. What seemed to matter was that I had made some stupid statements early on. That I wanted to try new things. That I thought the purpose of an elected Board was to represent them all. That I thought committees would be a good thing. That I thought cliques should be outlawed. A leader wasn't what they thought they wanted. They didn't think they needed committees. They wanted to literally wade through the sea of mail to pick from everything for upcoming fundraisers, for events, etc. Can you imagine a meeting where 50 possible fundraisers are being discussed for the Spring? The Board and I took those 50, weeded them down to 3, presented them, and I ended up with a nickname: The Dictator. Simply, mind you, because I didn't think it was necessary to take all 25 to the General Membership and I had the audacity to let the people they elected represent them in choosing just a few for presentation.

Well, here we are three years later. Guess what? I'm once again the pres (almost unanimously elected... one gal didn't vote for me... the vice pres from the year I was pres...lol...). I'm wiser and so are they. I tried to install so many new ideas at once that they rebelled. Looking back, they see that I just wasn't a very good 'adult' people person. I did everything right for the kids, but presented badly to the adults (the ones who could attend meetings anyway...lol). I'll do better this time around because I'm better understood, I'm wiser, even if I'm still working on my 'adult' people skills.

Talk to this gal. Tell her my story. She may be so caught up in doing such a good job, in being a children's advocate, in trying new things, that she may not even realize how adults see her. I know I wasn't. I was not so much a bad pres as I was a bad 'adult' people person...

Know what I mean? I'm saying it poorly, but I think most of the folks on these boards will vouch for me. What I mean doesn't always come out when I type...lol... I've come a long way... or have I? ROTFLOL...

Good Luck!

[ 09-19-2004, 02:49 PM: Message edited by: TheMetzyMom ]

:eek: How did this nightmare get voted into office?! Was she like this BEFORE the vote, or is it a situation where she was the only person willing to step up to the plate?

Yes, the budget has to be made available for anyone asking to see it, and her not wanting to show it sends a lot of red flags up. It seems ridiculous that she wants people to participate in fundraisers, yet won't let them see where the money is going!

She wants things done "her" way--what would she do if everyone said, "Fine--knock yourself out!" and quit?

Yes, you could vote her out, and depending on whose EIN you use, your principal and school district could conceivably step in and "ask" her to step down. I definitely second mykidsmom about being ready to fill the void should she leave and that before you do anything get your group of concerned parents together and speak to the principal. I suppose you could even ask teachers to participate, since they do have to work with her as well.

Good Luck!