Patricia, I can certainly understand the head banging you're doing--I think we ALL have had days like that, even the ones who have great teachers.
We also have a few teachers who just don't get it--PTO is all of us at the school. We have the rule this year--if a teacher hasn't joined PTO,their wishes from the wish tree we have are not filled by PTO--the wishes are on the tree & if a parent chooses to fill that wish--great, otherwise, it stays there. We have die cut flowers at the bottom of the tree listing the names of those teachers/assistants/staff who ARE members.
One thing we did with our carnivals( to get more active participation from teachers) was to let each teacher decide the activity THEY wanted to do and any money raised by them was accounted in a "savings acct." by the PTO treasurer. That money was there for the teacher to buy items for their classroom. The way it works, the teacher makes the purchase with her own funds and then is reimbursed from her fund when she submits the receipts. We did it that way so there was no chance of the money going toward non-class related items. Some have even used the money for end of year pizza parties for the kids rather than supplies and the kids love it. This system allowed teachers who haven't joined PTO to raise money for what they want.
Our PTO was set up to include one teacher on the Exec board. She is our liason and it has worked well for us.
Maybe it's childish to say "that's the way it is and if you haven't contributed to finding a solution, tough"--I've actually said it myself, so don't feel bad, but sometimes, you just HAVE to get it off your chest. Our PTO board also is on the SIT( School Improvement Team) and this has helped A LOT in helping us know what the teachers'/school's concerns are. Two of the committees are concerned with communication and school climate. We're working hard to make our school one that has the "feel" that makes you WANT to be there and getting along with all those personalities is key.SIT is a Federally mandated group, so you might want to check it out at your school.
We encourage teacher attendence at functions by having drawings for things--gift certificates to the local school supply store are popular.We started out with sparce attendence, now, it's closer to 50%.
Hope some of my long winded reply helps.

thank you all for the advice.I just get really upset
that we have alwasy went to them for any ideas or suggestions they may have and when we have a idea
we always have people saying why are they doing this or that and nothing gets done so it always comes back to us and when we make the finall decissions we catch flack for doing it our way. I have been invloved with PTO for 6 years know and this year there is no cooperation and wverything is a huge debate and I have to wonder if it ia all worth it. But then again
I know that this is all for the children and we spend many hours putting our family aside while we go to meetings, plan events,etc. and the teachers cant even show up to help or to a meeting thats awful.I want the children to have so many activities and fun things to do but we also have done alot for the teachers and they still complain .Some days I just want to throw my hands up and say
we are gona do things our way and if they dont like it tough.I know that sounds childish but then again what are we to do beg them,

Wow, do I feel lucky! We have some teachers who are constantly looking for handouts and some who wouldnt' come to a meeting if their life depended on it, but I've never had a teacher tell us they should decide how the money is spent. It does sound like maybe there could be some communication problems between the PTO and teachers. We have some programs and such that maybe you could use. For instance, our school joined with another this year. Last spring, I sent a letter to all the teachers at the other school welcoming them, telling them how to get involved in the PTO(they're the "T" in case they didn't know), and what programs the PTO sponsors. That way they knew coming in what to expect and who to go to with questions/problems. Several of them come to meetings-which to my understanding they didn't do at the previous school. I really feel it made a difference. Sometimes when you've been involved in something for awhile, you forget that others may not be as familiar with operations as you are. Maybe, you could try a survey designed for the teachers asking for feedback on each of your programs, feelings about attending meetings and being on the board, and what they think the school needs.
We also have a Teacher's Discretionary fund. We provide each teacher with $200 to spend on items for their classroom. They can spend it anyway they like(limited only by the principal). This has cut down on requests at every meeting and gives the teachers an opportunity to make choices for their classroom without having to wait for a vote at meeting.
We also regularly ask the teachers for feedback on ideas we have. I may ask at PTO meetings or have the principal ask during her staff meetings. Or sometimes, we just chat with the teachers in the hall or at recess time. We have improved, eliminated, and added several programs by just using this informal technique. Again, I think it makes the teachers feel like their ideas matter, and in spite of the fact that they are OUR children, I think the teachers probably have a better grasp of what is needed/works/won't work at their school.
Take a deep breath and try to concentrate on how to make the relationship better. It will make your life much easier!!

Last year as Prez, I don't some of the teachers even knew we had a PTO!! Most are afraid of parents cornering them during, before, or after meetings about little Johnny (theirs or someonelse's) and our teacher reps submit a report to be read at our meeting. The "funny part" they sure know who we are when we fix lunch for them!!!! UUGGHHH!!!!!!!
Hang in there, tie another knot...no not around their neck, lol... and just hold on! Maybe reminding them you WANT to raise money FOR THEM and the kids.....??? Who knows... [img]smile.gif[/img]

I know that we all have bad days now and then but lately I have one when every I come to work (I work at the school I am pto prez of). I came in today and went to talk to the principal about how the idea of having a Spring Carnival went over with the teachers. The money raised would go towards buying over head projectors for the staff.
they sure could use them.Well he told me that there we staff memebers who wanted to know why they could not tell the PTO to buy with the money
that we raise (which I always believed was used for the children). I had to stand there and laugh because the thought of that was just flooring ,so finally one brave teacher stood up and said that if they wanted to tell the PTO how to use the money the children raise then they should become apart of the PTO and sit on the board. Well let me tell you the response was crazy,they replied we didn't know that a teacher could be on the PTO
board,That made me mad because all year long and the years before we have always went out of our way to make sure we had a teacher involvement on the board but yet no teacher shows up for meetings or any of the after school functions we plan.I might be wrong for felling this way but I
am about through and ready to walk out and let them handle this themselves.I just had to vetn and see if anyone else has had a similar problem
at there school.
(my job at the school is Parent volunteer co-ordinator)