I'm the parent of a fifth grader. Our PTO is going to spend close to $2000 when it's all said and done on this particular group of kids. I am the first one to point out that it's not right to spend such a large amount of money on this one particular group of children. We speak over and over again about equality between the grades. Granted the graduating class deserves a bit extra. I agree with that. But there has to be a line drawn somewhere.

This year, they are going to collect a few dollars from the parents to help defray the costs. We are also trying to convince the school that it is their graduating class and they should chip in some of it, too. They have done it in the past.

$600 for the kids to go skating
$400 for the pizza party afterwards
$300 for the busses to get there

PLUS for an even more select few:

$500 for the safety patrol party
$300 for the busses to get there

I think that's over and above and some of the cost should be absorbed by the parents and/or the school. We are fighting - "that's the way it's always been done." At the beginning of the year, the Executive Board told the fifth grade teachers and the Principal that they would need to come up with a plan. No one took us seriously and now it's getting tense. Board Meeting is Monday. I'm not looking forward to it.

hey.. I am jumping on the bandwagon with all the dittos.. they are all regulars on these boards who always have great advice. There's NOTHING that diffuses anger faster than killing them with kindness and offering positive opportunities and experiences.

We have one parent ( don't we all????) who criticizes EVERYTHING we do.. and EVERY time we thank her for her opinion and ask her if she would like to join us - since she has great ideas.. she ALWAYS backs down, and of course, NEVER volunteers......

I totally agree with the "nice" response, but I would recommend making it in person if possible, or at least via a phone call. A letter is something that this person could just throw aside and not put much value in, but face to face is something that they can't argue with.

Here's a similar example that happened to me. This past year we decided to hold a party at the Halloween time. Of course due to the whole religious connotation, etc., we had to focus the event on autumn and not call if a Halloween party. We ended up calling it a Harvest Party instead. Our games were very autumn themed, for example we had a bean bag toss using a jack-o-lantern board with cut outs for the eyes, nose and mouth; a ring toss using pumpkin stems as the targets; and gourd bowling. But at the same time we wanted to allow the children to dress up, if they wanted to. We made a big point of making it optional and would not give out any prizes for best costume or whatever so that it didn't take away from those children that did not want to dress up.

So things are going well and we are a day or so away and the Principal contacts me that one parent had this huge issue with the fact that we were holding a Halloween party, but just covering it up in the harvest theme.

So this parent ended up coming to the party anyway and I made a special point of approaching her on the subject. I explained how we did our best to make this a fun event for the children while not making it a Halloween party. I showed her how all of the games were autumn themed and how we wanted this to be fun for the children so we allowed the costumes, with certain stipulations (no gore, age appropriate, etc.). Then I closed our discussion with, "I would love for you to be able to attend our PTO meetings so that we could get an increase in views regarding our events". She explained how she worked full time and was too busy. I then explained that I work full time as well and understand how busy life can be. She changed her tune at this point and started to show appreciation for what our group was doing.

In your situation you can explain how the allocation of funds are discussed during the PTO meetings and how you would love for her to attend so that she could have input on the subject. See how she responds to that.

Good luck,
PresidentJim

Ahhh the end of the year...when we are exhausted and other parents are feeling like they know us well enough to complain to us. Kind of a weird parrallel. Going back nicely really is the best thing to do (and then kick a dog or something). You can completely take the wind out of her complaint by doing as posted above AND that gives her NO ammo to get anyone else hyped up about her issue. I don't always agree with the "if you don't like it you should have come to the meeting approach"...but man there is a HUGE temptation to say that isn't there. The reality is that most of the support we get in our organizations are from people that DON'T come to meetings and vote.
I like to say it's because they are happy and don't feel a need to complain...but in reality "politics (and PTOs) are run by those who show up.
The point to these decisions really is (to me) that none of us makes these decisions lightly. If you are like me you fret, research, think, talk, lay awake at night, talk some more--and then support a position. I hope people know that about my decisions (and of course that of the boards) and if for no other reason support them for just that reason (especially if they didn't care to lend a voice on the issue). So when you have a complaint, look at it, consider it, encorporate those aspects of it you value and then move forward. If the decision is made, so be it; if the issue raised gives you a change in perspective--that's great--maybe make a change or make a note for next year. But this isn't about you...you made a decision based on myriad factors...and I'm sure it is the best one you could have made with the information you have. Either way...trust yourself and those that are a part of the leadership of your group...but always take a complaint seriously and validate your own thought process on the issue as well as the person's submitting the complaint.

phew
d

I completely agree with the way you feel. Only people who attend meetings and/or volunteer regularly at the school should get to make comments.

We only spend $500 on our fifth graders. This covers t-shirts, a field trip, and refreshments for graduation. The children also receive small flowers and either a keychain or pin. I think we should do more for our fifth graders, but the teacher who handles fifth grade graduation feels comfortable with what they receive now. I'm not trying to step on anyone's toes.

I've received comments or notes voicing their opinions as well. I simply stated that we would have loved to have heard her suggestions earlier in the year when the budget was being planned or during the meetings of the event planning as well. I told her it was too late for this year, but I would love to have her as Chairperson for next year since she seems to have a lot of creative ideas. The woman's jaw dropped, she studdered & then said she didn't have time and practically ran away!
I just take those types of criticism, address it and then file it appropriately!