While she made some very valid points, her delivery was rude. It was very obvious that she was on a mission to " set you straight". A phone call would have been more professional.
I would NOT email her back, but call her instead. Be VERY nice and professional, and thank her for her guidance.. ( DON"T APOLOGIZE FOR NOT KNOWING CERTAIN THINGS!) Instead, ask why she, or the other directors didn't inform you of items A., B and C ( be specific), at the meeting.
Once she sees how SWEET you are being, she will be embarrassed, eat some humble pie, and be more pleasant in the future.
Just last night we were having a conversation at my house about how so many people communicate by email but very few really know how to use email to communicate. My children attend a computer magnet and every staff member works at a computer and is expected to use email as the main form of communication but it seems that a few of them have trouble relaying the information they want said and wind up upsetting others on a regular basis. Because I am used to this, I have tried to take on what I call the email defense, where I just read the email for the information and try to ignore anything that might be implied or offensive. This can be very difficult but I feel like I am just keeping my sanity because I know these people aren't usually trying to hurt feeling but just don't know how to word information. If you ultimately want to know how to take something, make time to ask the person face to face how they would like you to address the situation or say I got an email but the body was blank, what did you want need to say to me.
The irony of commitment is that it’s deeply liberating-in work, in play, in love. The act frees you from the tyranny of your internal critic, from the fear that likes to dress itself up and parade around as rational hesitation. To commit is to remove your head as the barrier to your life. --Anne Morris
aaaahhhhhh if I could have a survivior shirt for every e-mail I ever received....
AJ said it best, I would (and have) taken the "high road" and not let this get under your skin. It's hard because it feels SO personal! It is to your best interest to remember while you are the PTO President, you are also a representative of their school... their school and anything you do may get back to them first if the parent upset because their e-mail was showing along with many others, or a parent is concerned that along with tuition now they are expected PTO dues....see where I'm going? Are you reporting to/ working with all the directors or just one? THAT needs to be clairified! How can you have one person to work with if everyone needs to "keep you/ the PTO in line"? Has the school always had a PTO? That might be part of the problem. It's like a PTO is seen as a pre-union the parents forms to take over the school (you know like Parents taking over!)
Don't lose hope, you need to keep working with the school to show them that htis could be and is a good thing.
Thanks for the input.
I am glad I am not the only one who found the delivery of the message insulting, and will also try to remember that perhaps not EVERYONE reads e-mails the same way that I do, and may not find ALL CAPITAL LETTERS to be rather OFFENSIVE. ha ha. maybe she didn't REALIZE that I am able to read sentences without a little EXTRA HELP.
I guess one of the more frustrating things is that she is not even the head director. She is in charge of campus a, there is another in charge of campus b, and then one over them. I arranged a meeting for all of us prior to any PTO meetings, just so I could get guidance and advice since I have no experience with this, and our organization has never been strong or even fully functional. I got no help or guidance there. She and the other director were at each of the two meetings where things were discussed, and none of the concerns were voiced then. Its just so frustrating. grrrr.
At least I have calmed down and am not ready to just bail already. I just don't understand why some administrators seem to see parents or PTO presidents as either the enemy or an underling who can be bossed around. But nobody said this was going to be easy...
You have to remember that each person interprets an email differently. She may have been thinking it one way and you took it another.
I agree that the president/director needs to know what is going on and that includes email. I'm not sure she needs to see every single one. That sounds a tad controlling.
The way I interpreted the email was that she was just letting you know how things were run. Speak to her in person, that way you can tell by her tone of voice and body language exactly how she meant it.
