I've said this before, I don't get into these type discussions, but I wanted to defend the public school that my children go to.

I totally understand your individual situation. I would have done no different than you did to help my child. But, you and Sylvan seem to be attacking public schools as a whole. I just don't think that is fair. I don't know anyone in our community who doesn't love the public elementary school that our kids attend. It is a great, nurturing, learning atmosphere. I have had concerns in the past and when taken to them they returned the concern and I saw results.

I'm not opening a new can of worms here. I just wanted to say that I LOVE MY PUBLIC SCHOOL! They're not all the same.

Thank you so much. I appreciate your reply, and you are correct, we should find a better school right away.

Not only have I resigned myself to the fact that this school district is incompetent; but whats more horrifying is the fact that their very involvement is what damaged my son in the first place. He was better off not ever going to 1rst grade at that school at all!!! It actually made him go back wards.

I told my husband how I understood how inflexible the school was, and how they were not used to dealing with a parent that actually cares. I know my limits, and I know that I am not going to change them, so I took my business else where.

What I find it strange, was their attitude about me taking matters into my own hands. In this particular case, their wait and see approach was a waste of time. How do you know how to fix a problem, if you dont even test the kid and assess where the problem lies?? Its like a surgeon performing surgery on a body part, and not knowing which body part is damaged!! The results are the same, you end up with more injuries than where you started!!!

I told them I knew how to fix the problem, and that was by 1) testing and assessment to identify problems, 2) then working on the targeted issue 3) consistency, and working with him on a targeted schedule to achieve results.

As his mother, I could do this. But as the school, they could not. They would only test him AFTER he was diagnosed as special ed. Obviously that was not what I wanted. I just wanted to test him, to help him. Since they refused to test him, I went and got him tested somewhere else, Sylvan. Now I know how to test him too, so I can monitor his progress, and ensure he stays ahead.

They got upset at me, for turning down their useless program, that did not even have any structure to it. (the reading teacher came in when she could) My sons problem was fluency, so I did drills to teach him fluency. You learn fluency by being around and modeling good readers, not bad readers that are worse than yourself!!!!! duh! and thats what they were doing. Putting him classes with kids that were learning CAT!!


I suggested they use their resources for other children and other parents, who were in need, but how I would be taking care of this issue myself.

They fought me tooth and nail, and said I was the one lacking. And in the meeting they all berated me, since I was not a teacher. "how are YOU going to teach your son, you are not trained" they would snipe.

True, but I have one child, to their 40. And apparently, individualize tutoring was all my son needed to go to the head of the class no less. Now he is two grades ahead in reading AND math. We treat this school as babysitting, and the real learning happens at home. My son treats it all as a game. He is very well behaved and charming, so its difficult for the teacher to say anything bad about him. Its funny though, on his last report card, she went out of her way to tell me, that even though it was an A, that is was actually an A minus!!

My husband says, their negativity from my sons success, comes from a black mark ensued by me withdrawing my son from the their intervention program. But their intervention program was just for show. Just something they could mark in their file to get funding. But no real learning results.

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I agree, we should find a better school. But unfortunately, for now, we are stuck. I am in the process of refinancing, and restructuring my company, and that will entail either sending my son to private school, or us moving all together to a better district. My husband is having a hard time with change however, so its a hard sell.

When I talked to Sylvan, and other enrichment programs, along with parents that home school, their experiences were the same. Public schools seemed to be intimidated by outside help. They are totally non-responsive to parents, but get upset when the parent says, "I've been trying to work within your system, but my phone calls go un answered" They get upset, when you tell them this.

My son thrives on routine and schedule, so if they had a schedule for WHEN this reading program would occur, that would be a start. I can not beleive the teacher got upset at me for asking. She's retired now by the way.


I agree with you 100%!!

The situation you are dealing with is SO unfortunate! I would not wait until middle school if they are that bad in your district - move your son now before too much damage is done. I have always done extra reading and assignments with my boys at home and they excel at reading now because of it. When my son finished first grade, his teacher told me he was about where he needed to be but she was concerned that he might lose some of his skills over the summer, so we sent him to summer reading camp and in second grade he was in the top reading group. I cannot even imagine what you are going through but I am here to tell you there are good schools and good teachers out there, so I would not rely on the one you are at to give your child what he needs and to recognize when there is a problem, that is just mind-boggling to me! You said you don't want to upset him by moving him but wasn't it also upsetting to him to be considered "special ed" and need extra help when it was evident with your teaching that he is a smart little guy? I would get him out of there NOW and find a school worthy of teaching him and of your determined attitude. Good for you for standing up for your child, keep it up!

OK, regarding going to the board, it gets better.

In one of the legalese letters, it states, "if you have any questions about this, please go to the superintendent at blah blah blah" Thats is exactly what I did.

I made an appointment, and showed her the letter. She stated how she did not know what I was talking about. I then showed her the letter, and she says, "I have never seen this before in my life" And I said, "well, it has your name on it" She basically told me I was over reacting, asked if my son was an only child, (very condescendingly) and she told me to talk to the principal.

I then go to talk to the principal, and he is just dumbfounded as well. As he says, "you are the only parent that has inquired about this letter. It does not mean anything, and it is boiler plate language" Well then, if it does not mean anything, then why in the world, did this letter go out in the first place??

I was getting no where. Rather than fight with these people, I just got my son help, and spent the energy that way.

I agree, I need to communicate this to people, but at the same time, I do not want it to come back on my son some how.

For example, I asked repeatedly about this intervention program, and the specifics of when my child would be taken out of class.. Obviously, they did not know, or else they would have said something.

After I pushed pushed pushed the issue, with multiple phone calls, and letters, only then, do they huffily respond, as if I have a problem. One day, the teacher took it out on my son, (as a result of one of my inquiring letters over something so simple) and she responded very angrily to my son, "tell your mother you go to the reading class every Tuesday"

The way she said it, scared him.

So you see the dilemma? People do not like to be called on their laziness and lies, and they act extremly defensive.

Thats the part I dont get.

I run my own company, and I know all about the numbers games. Thats fine. Thats life.

But when I took upon myself to take matters into my own my hands, after their non-responsiveness, and lack of communication, they treated ME like the bad person. "How dare you turn down our help!!! " kind of attitude. With all the tutoring help he was getting outside of school, them disrupting his daily schedule, just for my son to be taken out of class, to model other poor readers, just seemed really stupid to me.

We are looking for a private school for him to attend when he reaches middle school. I dont want to upset my son.

But boy, I would love to give these people a piece of my mind. I think I've been way too friendly

I think it is great that you manage to get the help your child needed, as I read your post I truly saw myself in parts of it. I thought that I might help address some of your questions/concerns. we also have a child that has had severe problems in school, his writing skills could be compared with our first grader easily, even though he is in six grade.
Anyways here is some food for thought, when it comes to screening and testing children to see if they have any problem out of the norm it comes down to costs, schools are told to test as few students as they can.Our son went seven years and it wasn't until a tem principal pushed the testing and some major anger problems did our son get tested.I once said to my principal that kids with involved parents often don't get what they truly need, that some kids fall between the cracks because they aren't from a low poverty family, broken home, etc. think about that line...
As parents we are the only ones who can advocate for our kids, for years we were close with the school and finally got what we needed. I have heard from parents who feel that they aren't heard and when i look at who they are they aren't consider "major" cases to the school. To us they are but when our child is in a class with three kids who lash out everyday, little johnny who can't sit still, two kids who can't write, etc the truth is they saw your child as a child who will "be okay". Truth is he wasn't and it takes alot to get schools to really listen.
Don't get me wrong I love my child's school, do I think that he missed out on help that he could have gotten years ago? Yes I do.
As far as a meeting and the wording of your letter it sounds very similiar to the letter that our school uses, they have to give you your rights, tell you you should be there and you do have to sign off on who you may bring. It is called covering their ass.
My main concern with your story is what happen to the teacher? Your district should have a person in charge of curriculm and assestment, this person oversees all programs in your school. I think I would go to that person and talk to them about what program is being used. Talk about what happen to your child, ask about that teacher who lied.
Can I ask if your child has a IEP plan now at school? please let me know because there are acts out there to help you with this, and even if you just carry the knowledge your school may take you serious. I am concerned that they told you they would wait when you asked about testing they blew you off, it seems like the IDEA act would have helped you with this.
As sad it is schools these day teach for the standards, as long as most kids are at those minimum then the school is "suceeding". there isn't time for anything else just trying to meet those basic standards. If i had one word advice find out why the teacher lied if if they are still teaching, what prevents that from happening again? is that teacher being accountable? does anyone higher up knows this even happen?

It's great that you were able to fix the problem on your own and that your son is now doing well.
Clearly something is wrong there with what is going on and how they handled everything. The fact alone that they did not return phone calls is unacceptable, never mind the lying or the damage they caused.

My advice to you would be to go to a BOE meeting and discuss what happened with the board (the superintendent is typically always at BOE meetings as well). Your speaking with the board could make them aware of things that they are not aware of and could make a change in the way things are done in the future.

I have a friend who serves on our schools BOE one day I spoke to her about something that happened with a teacher that she was unaware of. She told me that it is important for parents to come to BOE meetings and let them know what is going on. She said many times people assume they know everything that is going on and they do not. They only know what they hear and what is presented before them.