I am surprised that the teacher broke confidentiality with the children. Now your friend's child may need to tell a teacher something even more serious than cheating and she will be afraid too.

I don't think your friend should loose any sleep over her child's social decline. If this girl is like some of the more nasty popular girls I know they will move on to something else soon. Girls are just vicious aren't they? Oh, the things I can remember.

Then again, what the teacher did was a good college prep for these girls. LOL! Here are some situations I've experienced so far. 1) In my Psych 310, on the first day, two women were preggie and were due by the end of the semester. During break they privately spoke to the professor. Who was supposedly a counselor. After break he told the whole class what happened and wanted us to vote whether the girls should drop or stay. At least they had a choice, they didn't come back. 2) A girl in my history class told everyone how she cheated and let the boy behind her cheated off her. One questions was about the reason that the US invaded Mexico a few years before WWI. It was multiple choice and the girl choose "to film a movie." This particular teacher always gave an obvious wrong choice, this was one of those times. She was telling all this in front of one of the teacher's pets (oh yes, I am still talking about college). The next thing I know the teacher's pet (who is about 40) is gone. A while later I saw her and she said the professor knew there was cheating going on and was very angry. This college usually takes cheating very seriously, but all she said was "You are in college, you should know better." :eek:

You friend's daughter did the right thing. Though I wished it had of been handled differently. The cheater could have been moved and the next test the teacher could have kept a close eye on her without anyone knowing what was going on. School policy may have prevented her from taking any disclipine action since she didn't see her cheat.

Oh heck, what can you say? I was in 5th grade an caught a girl I hated (very popular and always bragging about how smart she was) copying off me. Normally, I wouldn't have cared but, well, I still can't stand this girl today. So I told the teacher after school and she told me that she would move her, talk to her about it, but becasue she didn't see it she couldn't punish her. I think if I were in the position, I would do what my teacher did. I would not appreciate the event described above and putting the one girl one the spot like that because it seems very tactless. I guess she didn't accuse your friend's daughter of lying but regardless it made the popluar girl not only able to brag about cheating and getting away with it but also put the first girl in a position where she will be looked down at because she tattled. If it was my kid, unless I had a real problem with the teacher playing favorites or something, I would just insist that my child to be moved away from the other and thank my stars I have a child with morals and that is smart enough that someone would want to copy off of him.

This, thank God, didn't involve my child, but a friend of mine's older child. What's your take--my friend and I are dying to hear!

"Jane" notices "Sue" trying to cheat off her test. After the test Jane tells The Teacher (a 20+ year vet) that this happened. The Teacher then sends Jane to bring Sue back to her desk. With Jane present, The Teacher says something along the lines of,"Sue, Jane here tells me you were trying to cheat off her test. Is this true?" Sue, needless to say, denied the allegations . The Teacher then says something to the affect of, "Well girls, I'm so proud of you--Jane of you for coming to me with your concern, and Sue for telling the truth. OK girls, you can go now."

Yes, this actually happened to a child I know.

Naturally "Sue" couldn't make a beeline to her friends fast enough to tell them what happened. Jane was fortunate enough to have to stay after school to make up a different test, so the other kids didn't have a chance to give their response right away.

I have to admit, my first response when my friend told me this story was, "What in God's name was "Jane" thinking when she was she did this?" To which my friend replied,"I know--I feel terrible, but the first thought that came into my head was, 'Oh my God--I've raised a "narc"!'"

My friend then went on to tell me that she was so shocked by what the teacher did she for once in her life she was rendered speechless. She told her kid to not worry about it and she would take care of the issue on Monday. Meanwhile, my friend is beside herself and doesn't know how to handle this. And naturally the kid accused of cheating happens to be one of the "popular" girls, and her mother is up there in the feeding chain.

I posed this situation to my kid and some of his friends separately as a hypothetical situation, and was honestly shocked when they all said they would have gone to the teacher. I was NOT shocked that they wouldn't want their names brought into it. [img]tongue.gif[/img] . When I told them this actually happened to a kid I know, they all felt terrible for "Jane."

I feel badly that my first thought was that my friend's kid was a schmuck for tattling. I had no idea how strongly telling teachers this sort of thing was emblazoned on our kids'conscious. If I had done this sort of thing as a kid, I think the teacher would have been annoyed at me for tattling. I suppose I grew up in a different era where the only thing worse than being a crybaby was being a tattletale.

My friend asked for my honest opinion, which I told her. I said that while on one hand I would have wanted to throttle my child for being a narc, that even if my kid was the biggest tattletale in the county the teacher completely mishandled the situation. Though this incident seems minor, it really isn't. Let's face it, this sort of thing could ruin a kid socially for a loooong time. I told her I wold most definitely meet with the teacher to ask her why in God's name she did what she did, and how she propsed on putting things right. I told her I would aslo inform the principal, in writing, as well as the superintendent. Yes--admittedly to give the teacher a taste of tattling, but also to have any necessary backup lest there should be problems later on between my child and other kids. I would also have to be restrained from beating the teacher for being such an a-hole.

OK--what's your take?