I certainly don't think it's inappropriate for teachers to talk to other teachers or staffers about their students--that seems to me to fall under the heading of a work-related discussion. (And if it sometimes edges into gossip, well, that happens in any workplace.) However, talking to parents about children other than their own would be another matter.
Where is this taking place? If the parents are overhearing things in the teachers' lounge or at the teachers' table during lunch, for instance, then the problem may be that the parent shouldn't be there. If the teacher's casually gossipping about students to parents in the aisle of the grocery store or in the school hallway, I'd mention the problem to the principal.
Sometimes I've had teachers tell me things about various children in the course of my volunteering in the classroom, not as gossip but as background info to help me help the kids. In that circumstance I think the volunteer is being treated as a staff member, and our PTO's volunteer guidelines specify that we're to treat such info as confidential.
I am in no way saying people don't have the right to "vent". I am saying in my opinion that problems with children should not be discussed with other PARENTS. That is why you have an assistant in the classroom, a principle, a guidance couselor, etc...
Hang on...I am putting the finishing touches of our Food and Gift Drive and have shared so much info with teachers about these families, I sure hope you mean like basic conversation.
Last year my son's first grade teacher was in a bind with a ADHD student and knowing the child and the situation from knowing the family we often talked or more like I listened whille she "vented". But it stayed there...okay until just now but I'm not listing details. Now where there was a real consern for me was a couple years ago an office staff could NOT keep her mouth shut! THAT was more of a problem than anything else! I told her I was pregnant and before I left the school an hour later the small staff we had (from one building to another) knew and was Congratulating me!
Lots of the conversations I hear are problem solving or just "You won't believe this...." Sure I agree that a child deserves some sense of privacy but if my little "dear" is being a handful and the teacher needs help...talk away!
My final thought is, I'm at home with 2 little ones and often Oprah is THE only adult I see! These people are in a room with 25-30 kids....I would need to talk with an adult too by lunch!
I still think that it is different to discuss a problem with another teacher than to discuss a child with another parent. I personally would not be okay with a teacher discussing ANYTHING my "little angel" did (and I am sure he has done plenty) with another parent. And again,it seems to be an issue that the board in our district is satisfied with saying...our children deserve confidentiality too!
While I do agree that they should be very careful about who they talk to, I think we also have to remember that they are human. Just like we post here to vent, they let steam off by talking to each other, and sometimes to us. I'm sure my little angels have never done anything (yeah, right) to cause a teacher or staff member to talk about them... (hold on, I've got to wait until the laughter subsides...rotflol)...
I think we all know who the children are who are discussed, not because of a teacher talking, but because of the individual child... you know what I mean? And that goes for good behaviour as well as bad. If my perfect little angel has misbehaved, I guess it would make sense for his teacher to talk about it at lunch with peers. He might be asking for advice, he might be venting, he might be doing his best not to lose his cool... Human is human...
I am considered part of the staff and do hear quite a bit about students, parents, staff, etc. Most of it goes in one ear and out the other because I know it for what it is. It isn't always gossip. Sometimes it's just survival...lol... I signed a confidentiality agreement with the school. I don't leave the school grounds and discuss things with my neighbors... I do discuss things with my peers though... and my husband... and of course, you guys...
Teachers are fired at our school for talking about children to anyone else(that does not count other teachers-although that is frowned on). My sister is also a first grade teacher at the school my son attends, and we don't discuss other people's children either. I think it is inappropriate and I feel the same way...if they say those things to you, what are they saying about your child when you are not around.
