If spoken language is a barrier, how about a carefully crafted letter? The family may have access to a good translator or be better skilled at reading English than conversing in it.
In my house, I would be very direct with my own child - "under no circumstances are you to be at XX's house. Period." I try to remember that my first responsibility is to the welfare of my child and not to whether I will hurt someone's feelings. It's a tough call, though, especially if you don't have first hand knowledge. Good luck!
What a tough lesson for your son to learn at such a young age. If it were me (thank goodness it is not) I would talk to the parents anyway. What is the worst that can happen - they get mad and don't speak to you? I think you are better off approaching them rather than discussing with others. I fear lawsuits like there is no tomorrow and would not want anything bad to come to a mom who so obviously cares about her own children and others. The best thing that happens is that it opens their eyes and their child gets some obviously much needed help. Seems like a cry for attention to me.
Not sure about where you live - but in the state where I live children cannot be "home alone" before the age of 12. Unfortunately, a friend of mine learned this the hard way. Her 5th grader was home alone for about 15 minutes a day between getting home from school and older brother getting home from school. Mom works about 5 minutes from home. Child called 911 one day just to see what would happen - she hung up when the operator answered. As is mandated, the operator called back and when the child indicated she was just curious the operator asked to speak with a parent. When the operator learned that the child was home alone a police car was dispatched. By the time the police arrived, the older sibling was home - but the parents were warned that if the parents' work hours were not changed so that a child under the age of 12 was not home alone for one minute and they found out that their children would be removed to protective custody. Do I agree with this law? Not necessarily - there are 12 year olds I wouldn't leave home alone for a second and there are very mature 10 year olds, but the law is the law. You may want to find out what the law is in your state if not for this reason to ensure that you aren't putting yourself at risk if you run out to get milk or the newspaper.
I have learned that a 5th grade friend of my son's has consumed beer in the morning before school when his parents are not there. There is also the use of questionable music and knowledge of sexual terms. So, tactfully keeping my son away from him is one problem, so they don't know how I found out and that I know. They have been told before that my son is not to be in a home if the parent is not there. Another problem is that the parents are Bosnian and speak very little English. Most parents I would speak to and suggest locking the beer and whiskey and watch the labels on CD's, but they are more difficult to communicate with.
ANY SUGGESTIONS? Are there any other parental discussion forums better suited to issue like these? I did let the principal know and he will approach the child without letting him know who "dropped the dime" and watch for signs of continued use. :eek: :confused:
